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The List Volume LIV

By |September 30th, 2011|The List|
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You know… I should probably list my afternoon as part of the list.  Cause apparently, my phone dying equates to then taking a nap… which, of course, negates any plans of working out… So I spent my evening eating pasta, M&M’s, and Sour Patch Kids (and, of course, washing it all down with wine). I’m disgusting and should be ashamed of myself.  But I’m not.

  1. Apple martinis.
  2. Spiral staircases.  Good in theory.  Bad in practice.
  3. Re-runs of House Hunters International.  How is it possible that I’ve seen them all?  Oh that’s right…
  4. Fake handwashers.  Why even bother putting in the effort to pretend?  At that rate you coulda just actually washed your hands!
  5. Ants.
  6. Skank stripe highlights.  Are we still doing that?  Pretty sure subtle is in.
  7. Mean Girls 2.  Did this really need to happen?
  8. Cottonelle toilet paper covers.  Isn’t this a modified version of the knitted covers your granny used to have?  And whatever happened to putting your TP under the sink?
  9. A bad facial.  A bad massage.  Any bad spa service, as a matter  of fact.  There is nothing more unfulfilling.
  10. Chris Brown.
Alright, well, it’s time for another handful of M&M’s.
xx,
WhyDid

The List Volume LIII

By |September 23rd, 2011|The List|
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Sometimes I’m a rainbow colored basket full of kittens and glitter.  Other times I’m more like a tornado of cacti and vinegar.  Today is the latter.

  1. Wait… why is the failing marriage of Tareq and Michaele Salahi national news?
  2. Toddlers and Tiaras, Toddlers and Tiaras, Toddlers and Tiaras. 
  3. Biting your lip.  And then biting it again in the same place.  Repeatedly.
  4. E! Fashion Police.  How can anyone take anything Kelly Osbourne says seriously? 
  5. Couples with “joint” Facebook accounts.  JaneJohn Doe liked your photo.  If you have to share a Facebook account, you have bigger issues than only one computer in the house.
  6. Speaking of Facebook, I think this whole “timeline” layout is a disaster waiting to happen. You really want my entire history on FB on here? Yikes, bring on the domestics!
  7. Dancing with the Stars.  Should it be Dancing with the Star F*#ckers? 
  8. Trolls.
  9. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.  Did we forget about this?
  10. That satellite falling from outer space – headed directly for earth.  They say there’s a 1 in 3200 chance of being hit… but I’m not the gambling type.
xx,
WhyDid

The List Volume WV

By |September 2nd, 2011|The List|
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As mentioned, I was born in West Virginia.  I went to highschool and college in West Virginia.  My family is from West Virginia.  Needless to say, I’ve been bombarded with ignorant questions and commentary for a large portion of my adult life.  Below are ten of the most cliche stereotypes and misconceptions about my birth state:

  1. First and foremost: West Virginia is its own state.  It is not the “western part of Virginia.”  Do you know how many times people tell me, “Oh! I have friends from Richmond!” That’s wonderful, but that’s also a different state.
  2. I am not, nor do I have any plans to be, married to my brothers, cousins, uncles or any other relatives.
  3. West Virginia is not the poorest state in the country.  That honor has been bestowed upon Mississippi. Congrats!
  4. I have all of my teeth.  Well, unless you want to get technical- because I did have my wisdom teeth removed.  And might I add- my teeth are pretty glorious?
  5. With a 72% highschool graduation rate, WV is actually above the national average.
  6. The movie, Deliverance, (dueling banjos?) has absolutely nothing to do with West Virginia and is actually set in Georgia.
  7. I’m not a coal miner’s daughter.
  8. I don’t say, “ya’ll.”
  9. While there’s still work to be done- we’re not all racists.  West Virginia is the only state that was formed by seceding from a Confederate state.
  10. We may not have  sports teams, but we’ve got a symphony.

While West Virginia might not be the most cosmopolitan state, it sure is beautiful and there aren’t many people much nicer.   They sure aren’t lying when they say, “almost heaven.”

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume LII

By |August 27th, 2011|The List|
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20110827-095129.jpg

I’m writing this post from my phone so that I, too, may pretend that my power’s gone out and am facing the wrath of “Hurricane” Irene.

1. New York. Do you happen to be related to the Kardashians? Cause you’re acting like a total media whore this week. First an earthquake now a hurricane?

2. People who wait til they’re ON the plane to eat. No, by all means, eat your burrito on my lap. Want me to hold your drink?

3. Having to pay $7.99 to watch cable TV on a plane. Hey, Continental, you already charged me $25 for a bag, you couldn’t gift me a few House Hunters International reruns?

4. Folks who take credit for “coming up with” something. Just cause you were within a five mile radius doesn’t mean you had anything to do with it.

5. Bad Girls Club. Who watches that? No, I’m seriously asking.

6. Smitty’s breath.

7. Our media outlets amping up anything they can to make a story. You’re making our already melodramatic society even more so.

8. People pretending to have perfect lives. We’re all effed up. Join our club.

9. The phrase, “That’s what I’m talking about!” What are you talking about?

10. Blogging from my iPhone.

xx,
WhyDid

The List Volume LI

By |August 19th, 2011|The List|
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You know, life is full of up’s and down’s. �It just so happens I like to list the down’s on a weekly basis… right here on “the list.” �I guess I figure that perhaps some of the perpetrators will be reading this very list and say, “Hey! I do that! I guess I should stop.” �Call me an idealist.

  1. Russian Dolls. �Now I’ve seen (and liked) some really bad reality TV… but this…
  2. Spiders. �You guys are disgusting�and you leave a mess behind?
  3. Smart people who pretend to be stupid.
  4. Stupid people who pretend to be smart.
  5. The fact that my six year old niece may very well have nicer lingerie than me soon.
  6. Mondays.
  7. Bad sushi. �Really, is there anything worse?
  8. Fashion shows (ahem, Project Runway) using irrelevant reality stars as guest judges.
  9. Non-reciprocal relationships.
  10. People who don’t quite understand blinkers. �You use them BEFORE you turn. �Not during. Not after.

xx,

WhyDid

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