Why Did You Wear That: Grammy Glory and Grammy Gross

By |February 12th, 2012|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

You know, the Grammy’s always manage to get my blood boiling.  Whether Lady Gaga is showing up as an egg or Snooki just shows up, it seems like this particular award show just causes everyone to lose their darn minds.  This year was especially tragic due to the loss of the great Whitney Houston, and I expected a much more subdued, somber affair, but despite the abundance of (I suspect unintentional) black on the red carpet, it seems the night carried on as usual.

grammys black dresses 2012Oh- hey black dresses.  I know that we all think you can’t go wrong in a little black dress (LBD), but it would appear that’s not always the case.  Now, I know Rihanna’s Armani “collaboration” was a showstopper, but let’s be real, while not offensive, it’s also nothing that me or one of my sorority sisters didn’t don at one of our date parties.  This slinky low cut number left me less than impressed.  Anne V (beautiful arm candy to beau Adam Levine), proved that an LBD can be anything but tasteful.  We get it, your gorgeous.  Now please cover your crotch.  However, Gwyneth Paltrow wowed in this tasteful yet unexpected Stella Mc Cartney.  That, my friends, is how an LBD is done.

grammys 2012 best dressedWithout spending too much time on the red carpet (and my head and heart exploding), let’s just get down to business.  Three ladies who I thought stole the show, or at least the red carpet, were Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad and an unlikely chic bun updo (let’s forget about her Yeehaw Junction performace), Jessie J in Julien Macdonald, and Kelly Rowland in Alberta Ferretti.  This is how you do elegant glamour.

grammys 2012 worst dressedAnd with the good must come the bad.  While I have to say that I was blown away by the color and the detail of Fergie’s Jean Paul Gaultier get up, I had no interest in her oversized granny panties or “Grammies” as they were coined.  It’s a bit age inappropriate (and eye inappropriate), but had she chosen nude, tonal, or metallic undergarments, I might have been slightly less offended.  Katy Perry just needs to cut it out with her crazy colored hair (this combination has me thinking she’s gunning for a Smurfs sequel), and this Elie Saab dress leaves me longing for that ridiculous light up number she sported.  The most offensive by far, however, was Nicki Minaj in Versace.  I don’t care if you showed up with the pope.  This look will have you saying Hail Mary’s from now until eternity.  Why don’t you and Gaga just have a “weird off” and see who can outdo each other once and for all.  Kind of like a dance off with clothes.

Nonetheless, the Grammy’s was full of fantastic performances and plenty of fun… and while my blood pressure may have peaked… I’m certain I will tune in again next year just to get another glimpse of crazy.



Monday Mashup: Grammy Edition x 2

By |February 14th, 2011|Monday Mashup, Red Carpet Recap|

Let’s first talk about how obnoxious it was that the West Coast had a delayed viewing of the Grammy’s.  I already knew who wore what and who won what before seeing a second of footage.  So basically, I watched the Grammy’s twice.  This theme carried throughout the entire evening.  Seemed that everything was coming in pairs- aka- twice the pain.

The “buzz” for the evening was Lady Gaga arriving to the awards in an egg.  Yep, an egg.  Apparently, she was “incubating.”  I mean… I can’t.  I give people credit for being different, but sometimes trying too hard to be “different” merely makes you the same as everyone else.  I don’t want to point out the obvious, but that performance by Gaga was pretty reminiscent of a very “materialistic” pop icon who was once known for being “innovative” herself.  So, now I turn to you Nicki Minaj.  What are you trying to pull?  Why must you try so hard to shock us with these crazy get ups?  If you’re going to attempt to catch our attention, you’re gonna have to work a wee bit harder when you’ve got Lady Gaga walking the same red carpet as you.

A group of incredibly talented and lovely ladies paid tribute to the amazingly talented  Aretha Franklin.  While they did a fantastic job rounding up gals with some serious pipes, you can’t help but notice that Christina Aguilera blew them all out of the water.  It’s a good thing that Ms. Aguilera is talented because the way she’s been looking lately is just frightening.  I can’t help but think she looks a lot like a certain pork filled childhood pal…

Okay, so Snooki will never actually look like JLo.  However, Jenny from the Block may want to make sure her stylist isn’t moonlighting as Snooki’s stylist, which is very possible because Snookster looks a lot better than her usual hamster self.

Besties Katy Perry (in Armani) and Rihanna (in Jean Paul Gaultier) opted for white.  Both also opted to look like they were wearing costumes.  Katy is clearly an angel (see the wings?) and RiRi is most obviously a furry white caterpillar, duh. Guuuuys… this is the GRAMMY’s, not Halloween!

So basically, Natasha Bedingfield is wearing Ciara’s dress pre-run-in with weed wacker.

One of these things is not like the others.  One of these things just isn’t the same…  Give up?  Well, everyone here has a talent EXCEPT one.  Still stuck?

Oh… well, that’s just awkward.

So, while, I did tune into the Grammy’s this evening, I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t.  Lucky for me, I DVR’ed it.  So, in reality, I could watch it a third time.



The List Volume XXV

By |October 29th, 2010|The List|

Oh it’s that time of year again.  The time of year that women exploit their sexuality. I love costumes. I love themes. I hate brainless costumes. I hate cliches. Come on, you had all year to come up with something good and you opted for a slutty bumblebee?  Here’s ten costumes I BETTER not see this weekend:

  1. Lady Gaga. In any way, shape, or form.
  2. Hooters girl. It wasn’t funny the first time. Guess what? It still isn’t funny.
  3. Anyone from the Jersey Shore. Make it stop.
  4. Anyone from Glee. No one’s gonna know who you are anyway.
  5. This thing:
  6. Anything from Twilight. I mean, haven’t we had ENOUGH?
  7. Any costume that came in a plastic bag or from Ricky’s. Use your noggin.
  8. A slutty nurse/taxi driver/school girl/ballerina/red riding hood/Tinkerbell/firefighter/toaster/martini. Basically anything that requires the word “sexy” in front of it.
  9. The Kardashians.
  10. Chilean miners. Too soon.

Happy haunting, bitches.



Monday Mashup: Catfight

By |October 11th, 2010|Monday Mashup|

Who was it that got into a drink throwing bar fight the other night in NYC? Was this another episode of the Jersey Shore?

Screen shot 2010-10-09 at 12.28.08 PM

Was it Snooki or Kim K? It’s actually kind of hard to tell the difference, huh? But alas, it was Miss Kardashian being pelted with bottom shelf liquor. Sigh… do people still do things like this? Animals. You’re all animals.



Why Did You Wear That: Grammy’s Gone Wild

By |February 1st, 2010|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

After getting love drunk with Lady Gaga and Elton John’s epic performance kicking of this year’s Grammy’s, the rest of the show just felt like a hangover.

lady-gaga-2I rarely do a red carpet wrap up for award shows because I usually find them so predictable and basically boring (and every other blog on the planet does them). However, there is something about the Grammy’s that brings all the crazies out- and I love every last second of it. This year was no different. There was good, bad, and most certainly ugly.  It’s just a matter of deciding where, oh where, I shall begin…


Oh, Katy Perry. You’re as good a place as any. I used to find you kind of adorable, and would at times chock your funny attire up to you being “quirky.”  But, due to your recent engagement to Russell Brand, I’m starting to think you’re just insane. What’s with that bindi on your forehead? Are you trying to blend into your heinous dress? That looks to me like one of those creepy stick on bath mats you use to prevent yourself from biting it while shaving in the shower. Ick.


Heidi Klum… don’t mind if I do. Hey Katy, wanna wear nude and sequins? This is how it’s done. This is the type of dress I pine over and wish I had in my closet for New Year’s and birthdays. She’s a golden goddess. Heidi, if you’d like me to take this dress off your hands (not like you can wear it again anyway), I will try and find some room for it in my closet…


No, you’re not hallucinating (like you were during the MJ tribute performance. Hey CBS, thanks for the head’s up that we’d need to bring along our 3D glasses to watch the show).  This is really Snooki from Jersey Shore. No, I don’t know how she managed to get in and Guiliana Rancic didn’t. Between her ski jacket, pink sunnies, and ginormous Coach bag, she’s sealed her fashion fate. Fail.


Fergie is looking delish in this cobalt blue mini. She and Snooks might be the same size, but she has made herself look long and lean by keeping it simple and sexy. I’m not 100% in love with that silver “snake” detail, but she still looks gorge.


Oh dear heavens! The Abominable Snowman is apparently up for a Grammy. Oh… wait, that’s Rihanna and apparently she’s had an issue with the TP in the bathroom. Rihanna is a beautiful girl, but this get up does absolutely nothing for her. A shorter hemline or a lower neckline would have balanced her out and made her look less like a snow ball and more like the belle of the ball.


Marisa Miller is white hot. It may not be the most creative or high fashion ensemble, but homegirl is aware of her assets and how to play them up. She kept it simple, chic, and sexy so we can focus on her gorgeous bod, hair, and face.


For once second, let’s pretend she’s NOT wearing a glitter wig. This dress… while it is interesting, it just isn’t fun or flattering. It’s flesh colored and skin tight. It could have possibly worked in a different hue and if she had piled her hair up on in a carefree updo. Not to mention that the particular shade of her “hair” and her dark brows really clash with this neutral dress.


Now this is how a neutral dress is done! Well played, Keri Hilson. It is incredibly well fitted and accentuates her curves in all the right places. She looks like a delicious dessert and I wanna take a bite!


Ciara, Ciara, Ciara… This hurts me because you were so charming in your red carpet interview with E!.  Why oh why do you insist on wearing creepy outfits like this?  It’s not flattering, it’s not attractive, and honestly, you’re not wearing pants. You said this was a “jumpsuit” but I’m going to call bullshit. I can see your thighs. Your skin and makeup was so beautiful, but I’m so distracted by your doily pants, that I can’t appreciate it.


Carrie Underwood is always a class act. She looks beautiful and elegant in this flowy white gown.  The only thing that irks me is her “mom” hairdo. You’re still young. Let your locks grow.  You can wear this do’ when you’re 40.


How sequins should not be done. I’m too exhausted by his jacket to even get into the faded ripped (probably True Religion) jeans that he’s wearing. I can’t.


How sequins should be done. This was an amazing shade for Taylor. It’s a great alternative to black and is gorgeous on her skin tone. The neck line is debatable and honestly, I would love it if Taylor would get some highlights. This is what my hair would look like if I decided to go ahead and quit getting it done. She needs to hightail it over to Ryan Darius for some sun kissed streaks and a “paddy cake” curl tutorial!


Oh, I’m sorry, Kesha, are you DRUNK? While delivering your lines this evening, I wondered if you were even speaking English. I’m going to assume you were also drunk when you got dressed. I get it. You’re “weird” and “off the wall.”  But honestly, if you’re going to be “zany,” go all out.


Speaking of off the wall, here is Lady Gaga giving it to us like she always does.  She never, ever disappoints and I wonder if she will ever run out of ideas for her crazy paparazzi ready outfits. We had a couple of ideas about this one- one being that she is, in fact, the universe (holding the star) and we are just living in it (her yellow hair being the sun).  The other is that she is Glenda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz. Thoughts?


Another one who never fails to disappoint? The one, the only, Britney Spears.  Does she share a stylist with Ciara? Cause she is also not wearing any pants.  At what point do you think she decided it would be a good idea to just wear her gurdle with a shear slip over top?

All in all, the Grammy’s were pretty entertaining. Like I said, it was good, bad, and oh-so ugly. We saw some amazing performances from Lady Gaga, Pink, Taylor Swift with Stevie Nicks. We also saw Jamie Fox act like an ass and Eminem appear from nowhere. Most importantly, we saw some really bad fashion that left us wondering, “Why did you wear that?”