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The List Volume XXXVIII

By |February 18th, 2011|The List|

I can’t lie, all week long I notice things that are completely and ridiculously obnoxious, but when it comes time to sit down and write “the list” I draw a complete blank.  Looks like I need an assistant.  Anyway, here’s what I came up with this week…

  1. People with SUV’s who don’t know how to drive them.  Seems like the worst drivers are always the ones with the biggest vehicles.
  2. Wasted time. Mine, yours, someone else’s.
  3. Leg 1 of Paris Hilton’s brothel themed 30th birthday parties.  Give it up already. 
  4. The smell of burnt hair.
  5. Drama on Entourage. Why is he so annoying?  Why is he cast? Who owed him a favor?
  6. The sound of high heels that need reheeled.  Take care of that, would ya?
  7. When you smush your lipstick to the of the lid.  It’s never the same.
  8. Guys who are under the impression that they are, in fact, still in college.  Still in a fraternity, as a matter of fact.
  9. Luvs “Heavy Dooty” commercial.  Ew. Just ew.          
  10. Speaking of creepy babies.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: CDG –> LAX

By |February 4th, 2011|Celebrity Style|

I haven’t talked about this little lady in a while…

Oh, hey Paris!  I’m not sure whether the actual outfit or the look on her face is what kills me the most.  She looks so proud of herself.  To be quite honest, if I didn’t know this was Paris, I would think it was just a waitress from T.G.I. Fridays on break at the airport.  Well, except she seems to be missing some “flair.”

Let’s take a closer look:

Oh, I stand corrected.  The matching hat and fingerless gloves really just put this ensemble over the edge.  Talk about flair! I’m always baffled by fingerless gloves.  I understand them when they have the little mitten type of thing that covers your fingers when you’re done texting.  That makes sense to me.  The ones that are just fingerless for the sake of being fingerless seem to be a bit of an oxymoron.  Not to mention, Paris isn’t dressed like she’s particularly cold anywhere else besides, I suppose, her wrists.

Speaking of flair… Her cheesy flare legged black pants and bizarre puff sleeve shirt only further confuse me.  And the red diaper bag? I thought it might be one of her poor sweet animals inside, but I don’t see any breathing holes… so for the sake of Tinkerbell, let’s hope it’s just a fugly purse. Let’s just cross our fingers that Paris is hopping a flight out of town… to a place with no paparazzi so we are not subjected to fashion f*ck up’s like this one.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Grasping At Straws

By |January 13th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

While I tried to sleep last night with a dog curled around my left foot and a cat purring like a diesel engine in my right ear, I wasn’t particularly thrilled to wake up to a talking cat on TV this morning. That’s right, Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch was my wakeup call.  Seeing as our family zoo partied all night, I was far too tired to bother changing the channel before opening my laptop and sipping on my morning beverage. So, when the credits rolled for Sabrina, I still didn’t bother changing the channel.  I was too immersed in Twitter updates and Google Analytics to exert the extra effort.

Then something caught my ears:

“Everything you’re chasing is worth nothing.”

Some creepy spiritual infomercial was on, but this gentleman put into words something I have thought to myself many times.  Right before I moved to Los Angeles, I think I was guilty of this very same thing.  For so long, I had been putting emphasis on all the wrong things.  Things that just did not and should not matter.

I am no longer 22, bright eyed and naive, so why in the world would I still be chasing the same things?  The novelty of nightclubs and i-bankers and “celebrities” should wear off after a while, shouldn’t it?  When does one realize that  he or she is not a celebrity and is most likely not going to be receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame any time soon?  Why on earth are so many people still grasping at straws and trying to “live the dream”?

Our culture has somehow tricked itself into thinking that we are all a whole lot more important than we really are.  With reality shows focusing on just about every topic under the sun and “stars” who are famous for adding nothing of value to humanity (talking to you Kardashians and Hilton), we all are under the impression that fame and fortune is just within reach.

The sad truth is that most people will never reach fame or fortune but will certainly exhaust themselves trying.  Racking up credit card debt to buy “things” that make them feel good temporarily and to be “seen” at places that will make them feel “cool” in that moment.  At the end of the day, none of this garbage matters.  It’s all just white noise.

The things that matter are much simpler.  Meaningful relationships, family, health, and kindess are just a few to start.  Unfortunately, for some, they may not even realize what’s important until it is too late. And alas, they’ll be the last one in the nightclub with cranberry stains on their clothes and the janitors mopping the floor. Alone.

xx,

WhyDid

Monday Mashup: Can You Tell Me How to Get to Sesame Street?

By |December 27th, 2010|Monday Mashup|

So, while we all suffer through a blizzard, Miss Paris Hilton frolicked on the beaches of Hawaii this past week.  She’s been much more low key these days (thank heavens) and here I am dragging her back into the spotlight.  Well, whatever. I couldn’t help but think that P. Hilton has a striking resemblance to one of our favorite childhood characters… Big Bird!  Since, I know that Paris is far too young to be moonlighting as Mr. Bird, himself, I started to wonder is this her Aunt Kim? I mean… she did say (repeatedly) she was a child star…

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Own It, Guuuuuuuuurrrrl.

By |December 16th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

The other day, someone asked me how old Ke$ha is and I didn’t know. So, of course, I had to look it up (I hate not knowing). While I found out that Kesha Rose Sebert is a mere 24 years old, I also learned some other fun facts about her. Kesha was raised by a single mother who was just barely able to get by. Kesha’s upbringing was so meager that the family relied on welfare and foodstamps for a period of time.  As I kept reading Kesha’s Wikipedia entry, I became more and more intrigued by her. I hadn’t really felt one way or the other about her until I realized that Kesha is not only smarter than she lets on, but she owns who she is and where she came from.  She’s strange, vulgar, and a little bit off her rocker, but all of those things make her who she is.

This, of course, got me to thinking.  Not many people are very comfortable with who they are.  It seems now that our culture is obsessed with being “fabulous” and keeping up the “right” appearance.  Our generation has racked up billions in credit card debt trying to “pop bottles” and wear the right shoes, right bags, right jeans. We want to drive the right cares and live in the right zip code. I just have one question: who’s to say what’s “right”?

Thanks to reality shows and people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who are rich and famous for no good reason, people everywhere are just chasing the dream.  Heaven forbid you work hard to earn your living.  We are all pretending we’re on an episode of MTV Cribs or something.  Why can’t we just be happy with what we already have rather than maxing out the plastic trying to buy new identities? I have news for you. You aren’t Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills.

When people ask me where I’m from, I tell them Wheeling, West Virginia. Glamorous? No. But I am proud of it and it’s part of who I am. Believe it or not, most people (who realize that West Virginia is actually a state and not just the western part of Virginia- see diagram below) are intrigued and start asking lots of questions.

It took a while for me to learn to accept all of the things that society tells me aren’t ideal about myself.  I’m never going to look like Marisa Miller, I probably will never own my own jet, and not even autotune is going to land me a hit single.  My brother, who is an artist, once told me I had a good face for painting because it is “unique.”  Before I could smack him, he explained that people with perfectly symmetrical faces are less interesting and easily forgettable.  Why do you think the world was so outraged when Jennifer Grey got a nose job? Same thing with Ashley Tisdale. Sometimes, the things that are “wrong” with us are the things that people find most interesting and attractive.  Everyone is trying to so hard to be different, yet trying to fit in one mold.

If everyone was the same- looked the same, liked the same things, dressed the same, had the same beliefs, the world would be an incredibly mundane place. So, instead of trying to change all of your so called flaws, why  not embrace them? Own it, girl.

xx,

WhyDid