After tediously recapping all of this spring’s trends and having been late on more than one occasion because I was unable to navigate (read move hangers) in my overly stuffed closet(s), I realized that I was more overdue for a serious wardrobe purging than Paula Deen is for a colonic. The task seemed daunting and even considering taking on the less than glamorous chore left me feeling half anxious, half exhausted, one hundred percent unmotivated. I was able to come up with plenty of reasons why it could wait ranging from meeting a deadline to my favorite rerun of Sex and the City being on E!. Finally fed up with forgetting what even existed crammed deep in the abyss that is my closet, I uncorked a bottle of prosecco, put Pandora on shuffle and started shucking. I was fairly impressed with myself and during the process came up with some new rules for closet clean outs… because my previous advice is laugh out loud contradictory. What a difference five years can make…
- Be brutal. This is not the time to be kind. Think of it like a game of fashion Tinder. Go with your gut. Are we swiping left of right? If you hate it, get it out of there. If you have not worn it in years and know you never will, kiss it goodbye. There’s no point spending any more time with something so-so. (That goes for dating and dressing).
- Three’s company. Make three piles. If you are keeping it, leave it hanging. If you aren’t sure, pull it aside to revisit. If it makes you cringe with embarrassment for having ever owned it, kindly remove the hanger and toss it to the side.
- Try it on for size. When I went through my wardrobe, there were a few pieces that I hadn’t worn in a while, but thought I loved. There were also a couple that I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to hold onto or have burned. Surprisingly, when I put them on, some of the things I loved looked stupid and the one’s I wasn’t so sure about were stellar. (This is why we make three piles).
- Upgrade it. We spend all this money on beautiful clothing and then hang it on wire hangers we scored for free from the dry cleaner. Not only does this seem counterintuitive, it’s also not great for your garments. Get some proper hangers that will save your clothing as well as save you space (remember when we gave Katie’s closet a hanger makeover (hangover?)).
- Keep it clean. This is a good time to rehang things properly (like not inside out) and inspect for any stains. There’s nothing more obnoxious than pulling out what you’d planned on wearing only to be reminded of that drunk teen who spilled a vodka cranberry on your chiffon blouse. Make a date with the dry cleaner so you can rest assured that everything in your closet is ready to wear.
A little preemptive spring cleaning is truly good for the soul because there is no room for anything new when you are holding onto the old… both literally and metaphorically, of course.