And who would have thought feelings as new as the petals on a cherry blossom tree
Were just as fleeting as the season we call spring?
She laughs, “You were what?”
“Arranging flowers. I get fresh ones every week. The last ones just died.”
“You’re a trip. What did you get?”
“Some roses. There’s a deli on 6th Avenue that always has the most beautiful colors. I just pick the ones that speak to me. This week it was ballet pink. They’re perfect. You’d think that this weekly death would help me cope with my attachment issues. My parents told me I never cried when my pets died when I was little. It’s a wonder now that my heart shatters over even the shortest tryst.”
“That’s a very morbid story.”
“I think I just had more faith before the world convinced me not to.”
Health Benefits of Rose:
I looked up and was startled to realize the gaze I’d felt on me was, in fact, real. Mostly, I just feel a little self conscious without any reason. Just another face in a sea of people going about their mundane duties in a busy city. How silly to think anyone is paying even an ounce of attention to what I’m doing. The ego is a hungry animal.
But there it was. The gaze that caused me to spill the last bit of my coffee as I recollected myself in front of my computer, which was really only serving as a prop at this point in the late winter afternoon. Our eyes met and I quickly looked back down at the brown ring now taking over the cover of my copy of Diaries. I dabbed at it with a napkin, but decided it gave the book a bit more character. I remained frozen, terrified to meet his big brown eyes again.
When I’d composed myself and collected enough courage to look up again, he was gone. The only thing left behind was the flush on my cheeks.
I blush and ask him what he’s staring at. He says, “What? I can’t just look at you?” I’ve never felt so uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. We could sit in silence and never grow tired of it. I’d never experienced the phenomenon of sitting across from myself. To be with someone, yet to feel like you’re all by yourself is an eerie thing.
We walk to the train. He picks me up to kiss me goodbye, my feet far from the ground. He says, “I’ll see you later?” I nod sheepishly. He looks back as he descends the stairs.
I sleep alone.