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The List Volume 10/31

By |October 27th, 2013|The List|

slutty halloween costumesIt’s true I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual calendar date, but as far as I’m aware, this past Saturday was not, in fact, Halloween.  As I sipped on my pinot at a party in Soho wearing a sweater dress and over the knee socks, I watched the influx of costume clad cuties circle the room(s).  Sure, there were moments when I had a tough time discerning who was actually dressed up and who was just abusing the right to wear spandex, but I was left wondering if I had missed the memo.   I’m no party pooper, but I think it’s safe to say I’m officially old when the thought of dressing up for Halloween sends sheer panic rather than anticipation through my veins.  Maybe it’s because I don’t need a specific holiday to look sexy or to wear lacy lingerie or maybe it’s because nearly every costume under the sun has been done.  Or perhaps, and most likely, it has something to do with the fact that putting the word “sexy” in front of something, doesn’t actually make it sexy.  And since it would seem that this year Halloween will be dragged out for the better part of a week, here’s a guide to what doesn’t fall under the umbrella of “sexy.”

  1. Pilgrims, Amish, and clergy- especially when impregnated.
  2. Most cartoon characters.  With the exception of Jessica Rabbit, they are meant for children… and while your costume is small enough to fit a child, there is no correlation.
  3. Anything 80’s.  Had it not been for French cut bathing suits and cocaine, I don’t think anyone would have had sex during that decade.
  4. Food in general.  I tried to think of a food that might be considered sexy, but I don’t think dressing up as an aphrodisiac would even get me in the mood.
  5. Anything involving the words “gold” and “digger.”  That’s a great way to send guys running… the other way.
  6. Certain animals were not mean to be sexy.  Cats, yes.  Squid, no.  Bunnies, yes.  Dolphins, no.
  7. Clowns.  Never clowns.  Ever.
  8. Anything involving scar tissue.
  9. Much like animals, not all occupations are sexy.  A naughty nurse is one thing, but a playful plumber?  Not so much.
  10. If it requires assistance when using the restroom, it’s too much and therefore, not sexy.

sexy halloween costume

Boo.

xx,

WhyDid

Would You Wednesday: Well Red

By |May 11th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?|

For years, redheads weren’t always treated like the bombshells they are.  Coppertops, gingers, firecrotches… the list goes on and on.  It seems funny that redheads get such a bad rap when some of our very favorite leading ladies were blessed with rusty roots.  Who doesn’t love Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club?  What little girl didn’t want to grow up and look like Julia Roberts?  And who can forget about cartoon bombshell Jessica Rabbit?

Recently, crimson coifs are stepping up and taking center stage. Young, hot Hollywood is trading in the standard sunny blonde and sultry brunette for fiery red.

Rihanna has been sporting a very cherry ‘do for quite some time and Scarlett Johansson was the most recent buxom blonde to start seeing red.  These ladies look lovely, but are you ready for red?

Some things you should know before getting all fired up:

  • Approximately 1-2% of the population have naturally occurring red hair and it is a recessive gene.
  • Red is the hardest color to fake due to the many shades available.  Most dye jobs will end up looking very unnatural.
  • Red hair is very difficult to maintain.  It fades faster than all other hair colors.  This can lead to some very strange hues between touch ups.
  • Skin color plays a huge role in red hair.  If you are fair, you can get away with almost any shade of red, but a light red will look most natural.  If you are darker skinned, go with a deep auburn or darker red.
  • Don’t forget: When you dye your hair, the eyebrows must also follow suit.

So, would you dare trade in your shade for red?

xx,

WhyDid