Oct
07
2014
0


WhyDid or Why Don’t: Picture Perfecting

instagram photo appsA couple of weeks ago, a photo of Beyonce posted to her Tumblr account was called onto the carpet and not a red one for being  a very clear case of (bad) Photoshopping.  There was a very obvious alteration to the image made more painfully obvious by the mysterious slope in the stairs behind her perfectly spaced thigh gap.  If this was not a case of Photoshop foolery, the Carters better be careful young Blue Ivy doesn’t stumble down that warped yacht staircase.

Sadly, that was not the first time Beyonce had been called out for altering her candid photos, but to be fair she is only one of a slew of celebrities to tamper with their social snapshots.  What started off as simple and standard in app filters to enhance a tan, deflect less than stellar skin, or add artistic flair has turned into full blown post production photographs worthy of five figure paychecks.  Isn’t social media a place where celebrities should be better able to connect with fans?  You know, celebrities, they’re just like us.  Ideally, social media should be a place for celebrities to take on more human personas as opposed to their perfectly airbrushed alter egos.

Models and actors are already Photoshopped to within inches of their lives for ads, interviews, and endorsements, but most of the masses realize that much of that is simply smoke and mirrors.  Obviously, glossy magazine spreads and movie posters are all part of the job description and many Photoshop fails have come at the hands of professional retouchers employed by major publications and big brands, but when has it gone too far?

When there is no longer a line between reality and fantasy, how are we, as mere mortals, supposed to digest this photographic perfection?  How are young girls not to feel bad about themselves after seeing their idols looking like they really did wake up like that- AKA, full hair and makeup?  Listen, if I don’t have a thigh gap, I think it’s pretty safe to say that Queen Bey does not either. While, I may be able to call out “fauxtos” for what they really are, what about those who take these digital masterpieces more literally?  Are we only exacerbating the ideal of unachievable perfection?

So, how exactly are celebrities stepping up their Instagram game beyond basic filters?  Well, there are plenty of apps available now (one of which I used in the photograph above that is worth downloading for sheer entertainment purposes), that allow for serious digital makeovers.  Some of them are essentially equivalent to using a desktop version of Adobe Photoshop on your smartphone.  You can smooth out skin, nip, tuck, and even whiten teeth making it nearly impossible to ever take a bad photo again.  But what is the point of sharing moments that are anything but authentic?  I believe the “Insta” part of Instagram is meant to imply that we are sharing the moment as we’re in it (since we all know it never happened unless it’s documented on social media).  It’s bad enough that we watched the sun set the screen of our iPhone, must we waste another twenty minutes applying the perfect filters?

Last week new photos of Beyonce wearing yet another bikini materialized on the world wide web, presumably to back pedal her previous posts, but what it’s really done has given us a vehicle for side by side comparison.  Celebrities, they’ll never learn… just like us.

 

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram.

xx,

WhyDid

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Aug
25
2014
0


Red Carpet Recap: MTV BMA’s

mtv vmas miley cyrus jesse beyonce blue ivyLast night marked MTV’s 31st Annual Video Music Awards and also the fact that I’m way too old to be watching it.  My friends and I kept exchanging puzzled looks as one unrecognizable (to us) tween took to the red carpet after the next.  I had never been so excited to see Gwen Stefani or Jennifer Lopez as I was last night.  Phew!  Somebody we knew.  It became quite clear as to why E! has cornered the market on red carpet pre-shows.  As I quickly found myself on the brink of a melodramatic meltdown, I yelled at my TV,   “Sway, WHO ARE THEY WEARING?”  After having cooled my rage with a glass of prosecco, the actual show began.

Within seconds of the opening act, I was concerned that Nicki Minaj had somehow pirated the entire event as there was much more booty on stage than on any ship.  She became this year’s Miley while pirouetting her posterior to her current single, “Anaconda”, which left me hoping Sir Mix A Lot was somewhere wiping his own rear with all the royalty money he received from that song.  She then joined Jessie J. who forgot her pants and Ariana Grande who appears to have a perma hairstyle for their song, “Bang Bang” complete with wardrobe malfunction.  She later joined Usher for his song, aptly named, “She Came To Give It To You.”

Right around the time I’d given up on humanity and started Googling how to obtain an Australian work visa, Miley Cyrus shocked audiences again. This time, however, it had nothing to do with flagrant twerking or her wayward tongue. When she won the VMA for Video of the Year, instead of accepting the award herself, her handsome mystery date took the stage.  He identified himself as “Jesse” and proceeded to deliver a touching speech revealing that he, himself, had grown up homeless which was hard to imagine as he looked like far less homeless than the boys of Five Seconds to Summer in his well tailored suit.  He encouraged viewers to learn more about My Friend’s Place and to get involved by visiting and donating on Miley’s site.

But (with a capital “B”)  Queen B., herself, Beyonce, was not about to be outdone.  Bey performed for a solid fifteen minutes in a stunning jewel encrusted leotard before accepting the Video Vanguard Award from her husband, Jay-Z and the absolutely adorable Blue Ivy.  If all those divorce rumors do have any merit, she should have picked up an Oscar as well.

The other big “B” for last night had to be for Balmain as Jordan Dunn, Chanel Iman, Joan Smalls, and Kim Kardashian all wore the label.  Pro-tip: Do not show up to an awards show wearing the same thing as a supermodel.  While Katy Perry and her date, Riff Raff, gave a nostalgic nod to Britney and Justin, everyone’s favorite good girl wore a romper so short, she could have been a Minaj backup dancer.  Black was a red carpet favorite, but all renditions from sheer paneling to leather pants felt fresh and innovative rather than basic and boring.  Red, pink, and blue were the other colors that were most prevalent, mainly in jewel shades.  While everyone looked “nice,” I didn’t feel floored by anyone in particular… except for Amber Rose, that is.

Ban-Do:

miley cyrus jourdan dunn mtv vmaJourdan Dunn in Balmain, Miley Cyrus in Alexandre Vauthier

Anything but Basic Black:

kendall kylie jenner red carpet chanel imanKendall Jenner in Alon Livne, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier, Chanel Iman in Balmain

Power Couples:

ireland baldwin adam levine mtv vmaIreland Baldwin in Roberto Cavalli and Angel Haze in Helmut Lang, Adam Levine Behati Prinsloo

Sister, Sister:

beyonce vma red carpetBeyonce in Nicolas Jebran, Solange Knowles in H&M Studio

Fulfill Your Destiny:

mtv vma red carpetKelly Rowland in Kaufman Franco, Michelle Williams

Soft and Subtle:

mtv vma red carpetKesha in Johanna Johnson, Jessie J in vintage Halston

Silver Lining:

iggy azalea jennifer lopez red carpet vmaIggy Azalea in Versace, Jennifer Lopez in Charbel Zoe

Animal Instinct:

2014 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals Nicki Minaj, Charli XCX in Moschino

Red Alert:

mtv vmas rita ora demi lovato red carpetRita Orain Donna Karan Atelier, Demi Lovato in Lanvin

Double Trouble:

kim kardashian joan smalls mtv vmasKim Kardashian West in Balmain, Joan Smalls in Balmain

Pink Ladies:

gwen stefani chloe moretz mtv vmaGwen Stefani in L.A.M.B. Couture, Chloe Moretz in Louis Vuitton

Cobalt Queens:

sarah hyland julianne hough mtv vmasSarah Hyland in Kaufman Franco, Julianne Hough in Emilio Pucci

Singing the Blues:

katy perry riff raff taylor swift mtv vma red carpetKaty Perry and Riff Raff in custom Versace, Taylor Swift in Mary Katrantzou

 You’ve Got Chainmail:wiz khalifa amber rose mtv vma

Wiz Khalifa, Amber Rose in Laura Dewitt

 xx,

WhyDid

 

 

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Dec
28
2013
0


Weekend Playlist: 2013, We Out.
Written by: WhyDid | Weekend Playlist

miley cyrus destinys child nsync2013 was a very interesting (by interesting I mean coma inducing) year when it came to music in my humble opinion.  I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be a music expert, but if even I was bored, I can only imagine how audio afficianados must have felt.  All genres started to blend together just as the days of the week started to blend together for me.  Is it Tuesday night or Saturday morning?  Who cares?  A little Drake whining about his leftover Chinese food followed up with some Miley Cyrus soft porn will alleviate any confusion.  Just stick out your tongue, grab a leotard, and start twerking- you’ve got 2013 music covered.  It’s like Now That’s What I Call Music: 9 Billion.  Listen to this playlist til 2014, then let’s bury these songs like a time capsule not to be revisited until another decade has passed.

Werk, bitch.

xx,

WhyDid

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Jul
04
2012
0


Weekend (Except Not Really) Playlist: Independent Woman
Written by: WhyDid | Weekend Playlist

celebrities in flag bikinisSo, if you were smart you took today as a holiday and decided that the rest of the week would just continue on as your respective weekend.  That said, you are going to need a playlist to get you through those five tedious days off.  Thank goodness I’m here to supply you with a musical “snack” for that time period after your barbecue and beers.  So, sit back, relax, and celebrate your independence with this special fourth of July mid-week Weekend Playlist.

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Mar
10
2012
0


Weekend Playlist: Mad About You
Written by: WhyDid | Weekend Playlist

people i want to punch in the faceI try and practice an insane amount of self control.  And for the most part, I remain cool as a cucumber, but every now and then I just want to scream at people, dropkick inanimate objects, and punch the hell out of a pillow.  That is when it is truly necessary to have a playlist full of songs as angry as I am.  (A punching bag never hurt either).

workout playlist

Conveniently, this playlist doubles as a fantastic workout playlist… and everyone knows that looking good is the best revenge.

xx,

WhyDid

P.S. I do not in any way, shape, or form, condone violence (except against pillows).  There are far more clever ways to take out your frustrations.

 

Photo via Cory Pulliam

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