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WhyDid Wisdom: Dog Days of Dating

By |May 17th, 2012|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

mand and his dogI’ve been irrationally angry today- though some close to me might argue that it’s actually quite rational as of late.  Luckily, they are wise enough to know not to argue with me on a day such as this… cause I’m quite likely to high kick someone given my current mood.  That’s why I figure now’s as good a time as any to drop a little dating knowledge on you ladies, and look for local singles.  Brace yourselves…

Time and time again, I hear women complaining about what dogs men are.  First of all, don’t insult dogs (and my best friend) like that.  Secondly, who do you think is to blame for men behaving so badly?  Two guesses and one of them is not his mother.

Here’s the deal… and go ahead and write this down or tattoo it on your forehead, whatever you must do to remember it… you don’t want men to act like dogs?  Don’t let them.

You see, while we can’t be held 100% accountable for the philanderings, foul play, and general mischief of men, we are responsible for what we tolerate.  You think it’s really cute that someone else’s boyfriend/husband/fiance/significant other is flirting with you?  Really?  Well, joke’s on you.  By entertaining inappropriate behavior, you’re simply perpetuating the very same douchebaggery you complain about.  You’ve made it harder on yourself and your fellow females just so you could get a little ego boost, a feather in your cap.  Worth it?  Yeah, didn’t think so.  And let’s be serious, do you really want to be with someone who would step out on his lady?  Spoiler alert: a man who cheats with you, is going to cheat on you.  Sure, you’ve filled her spot… but your mistress role is now open and I hear he’s taking applications.

The same holds true for the other side of the coin.  You have a guy in your life who is acting like a complete and utter ass?  While it may feel as if he’s holding all the cards, you, my dear, are actually the one in power.  My grandma Betty (Mee Maw) said, “A lady always allows a man to be a gentleman.”  Such a simple, yet forgotten truth.  You won’t get any less than you think you deserve.  So, stop acting like cheap two bit hussies and make a man work for it.  If you’re willing to settle for scraps, that’s precisely what you’re going to get: scraps.  Are we really so desperate to have a man in our lives that we’re willing to settle for subpar?

Now, I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes (I see you) because you think this doesn’t apply to you.  What’s the harm in a little flirtatious fun or spring fling?  Maybe it doesn’t affect you right this second, we are, afterall, a society of instant gratification, but in the long run, you’ve set yourself and women back ages.  You think you’re being a feminist with free love, but what happened to having a little respect for yourself and your X chromosome counterparts?  I call that modern day feminism.

And for heaven’s sake, don’t think for one second that I’m here on a soap box or my high horse (I wish I had a pony).  I couldn’t even possibly begin to dish out advice on something I, myself, haven’t encountered.  I’ve played into this shit a time or two (too many).  Well, guess who I’m not dating/marrying?  Any of those guys.

Here’s the deal, if your dog continuously shat on the floor, you’d reprimand him, no?  The same should hold true for the men in our lives.  If you wouldn’t tolerate it from Fido, don’t tolerate it from Frank.  You don’t want men to act like scum?  Don’t let ’em.

xx,

WhyDid

 

image via NY Times

WhyDid Wisdom: Place Your Bets

By |April 19th, 2012|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

james bond casinoI read a quote the other day that said, “The most common way to fail is by playing it safe. ”  It sounds a bit contradictory at first, but may hold more truth than you’d initially think. To learn more, you can find all the information you need on this page. Knowledge about betting will give you the advantage.

After a breakup, or failed experience, you are likely to be barraged with comments like “take what you learned from this and apply it in the future” or “this is only going to make you smarter.”  You probably just want to tell these well wishers to GFY.  Well, as it turns out, as long as your eyes, mind, and heart are open, there actually can be quite a bit to take away from even the most terrible of situations.

After a very traumatic breakup with the Don Draper of Wall Street (or least in his head), I felt wounded and fragile.  (You guys remember that one?)  He was a bit of a wild card and I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning, but I was suffering from ITIS (I Think I’m Special) syndrome and took a chance.  When my hand played out precisely the way one might expect I was not totally shocked.  To say I was upset?  Yes.  Hurt?  For sure.  Surprised?  Not particularly.

I sat out a few hands to recollect myself, but the next time I stepped up to the table to play a little love roulette, I opted to place a much safer bet. check out star slots for best instructions on how to not lose control when placing bets. When I took a gamble on the other end of the spectrum (a safe bet) and lost again, it was most certainly a shock. Instead of giving up, because of the difficulties in your betting experience, you must know that there are many different types of soccer bets to take part in. for many of them, you may have found the best for yourself. Probably more shocking and upsetting than losing a big bet.  How could I have been so careful, had such good odds and still lost?  I thought by aiming “low” or being conservative I might not hit the jackpot, but at least was going to win a lil somethin’.  I’d hoped for the best, took a gamble, and lost. I should probably learn more from daisyslots about how to win the bet and stay low until I’m really good.

What I learned from both of these experiences is that it doesn’t matter if he’s the shiny, suave Wall Street type or the disheveled, artsy IT guy.  The big bet or the little gamble.  Anyone can hurt you or turn out to be a “loss.”  Having had bad experiences at both levels has made me tentative about making any decisions at all.  I tend to just sit and worry until the decision is eventually just made for me.  Well, that’s really no way to live. I seen a quote in an article in the online gambling news at EasyMobileCasino.com “There’s no way you will end up becoming a high roller just keeping your cards close to your chest.” It is very true, sometimes you have to just double down and put it all out on the table.

Just remember, a safe bet may be the most dangerous bet you can make. But let me remind you I have never lost on Clubvip777 while  playing casino games.

xx,

WhyDid

Would You Wednesday: Hobby Horse

By |September 21st, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

A few months ago while scrolling through my Twitter feed (gotta stay up on my news), I laughed out loud when I saw the headline that read, “How To Get a Guy: Talk About Technology!”  I couldn’t help but click the link to see what kind of ridiculous dating advice awaited me.  As expected, the article was a bunch of mumbo jumbo garbage encouraging women to “trick” men into liking them based on lies– or as I like to call it, “False Advertising.”  This hard hitting journalistic gem classified “technology” as an iPad2.  That, in and of itself, proved to me that this young lady had no idea what she was talking about.

Basically, this article– and many others like it— suggest that by feigning interest in something men like to do will most definitely land you a man.  So put down that crochet needle, sweet pea.  It’s best you start tossing around the pigskin instead.  It doesn’t matter what YOU like to do.  It’s much more important to fake a hobby to reel in a real catch!

Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying– you should always be open to trying new things and accepting new opportunities.  Variety is the spice of life.   I’m just saying that there’s no need to fake a “hobby” or interest in something that you have not even the slightest inkling to try.  When I hear girls dishing about how much they LOVE football (or whichever applicable sport) and can’t get enough of Back to the Future (or whichever nerdy boy flick), I roll my eyes and internally groan.  I do it for them as well as myself… cause now guys actually think there are some girls out there who love this crap.  And you know what will eventually happen?  It will all blow up in your face when he realizes that you’ve been faking the funk with your model airplane fetish.

There’s nothing wrong with having separate interests.  A good guy will be happy and even encourage you to have your own interests and you should humor his.  For instance, I’m not what you would call a winter sports kinda gal.  I don’t like the cold and no one has ever accused me of being an “athlete.”  So, when you ‘re finished speeding down the bunny slopes, I’ll meet you in the lodge– where I’ll be getting a foot rub and indulging in a marshmallow topped hot cocoa.

So, despite my above argument, would you fake a hobby to impress a guy?

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via Bimmerfest

WhyDid Wisdom: Stop What You’re Doing

By |August 18th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

You know that saying, “those who can’t do teach”?  Yeah, well, often times that’s me.  I tend to have a very level head when it comes to my friends’ and loved ones’ problems… yet, when it comes to my own… well, let’s not go there.  But the point is, I love to help out where I can.  Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective or different point of view in order to sort things out.  That’s where I come in.  This week, we have a little bit of a glitch in the domestic bliss:

Dear WhyDid,

My boyfriend has really started to take me for granted.  I do so much for him and initially I did it because I wanted to, but now it feels like he just expects it.  We live together and I do the dishes, the laundry, make dinner.  I’m your regular 50’s housewife– except I work too!  I don’t need him to thank me on a daily basis (although that would be nice), but showing a little bit of appreciation from time to time wouldn’t hurt.  How do I let him know that this house doesn’t clean itself without coming off as a lunatic?

love,

Desperate Housewife

Well, here’s my advice and it’s quite simple.  Don’t. Do. Anything.  Literally.  Stop doing everything that you’ve been doing to make his life better, simpler, more cushy.  He’ll notice.  And he’ll notice fast.  It’s a funny thing with guys.  They can’t seem to muster up a “thank you” when all’s running smoothly, but the moment something’s awry they have plenty to say.  When he does speak up, do not turn this into World War III.  Use it as an opening to let him know that you feel a little bit underappreciated.

He’s not a bum because he started getting comfortable with your domestic expertise.  Relationships change with time.  People get used to things and can forget what life was like pre-you (aka awful).  While we’re on the subject, let’s flip things around.  When’s the last time you dolled yourself up and greeted him at the door?  Do you sleep in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt?  Women are also guilty of getting comfortable.  Don’t worry, your relationship isn’t headed for the rocks.  This is just a gentle reminder that you need to let each other know how much you appreciate one another and that you may need to crank the heat back up.

Sometimes it’s what you don’t say.

Need a little WhyDid Wisdom?  Send your questions here.

xx,

WhyDid

 

Image via Apples and Onions

Why Did You Date Him: Mr. Big Mistake

By |August 11th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?|

By now, it should be clear how much I enjoy Sex and the City (SATC).  Not really because it is soooo accurate (cause it kind of isn’t), but because it is so very well written and there’s a lot of great shoes.  Plus, what girl doesn’t like to commiserate with others about those dogs we called men who ruined our lives?  I could watch old episodes over and over and over… and as a matter of fact thanks to our bizarrely programmed HD cable box, I get to watch it on both east and west coast timezones (booyah).  And yes, that is just what I did yesterday.  All five of the last episodes were on (that’s three hours, kids) and I watched them all.  Twice.

I love so many things about the show.  I love that it’s shot in New York and not some stupid soundstage in LA. I love the witty banter and the situations that so many of us can relate to.  There is, however, one thing that I do not love.  His name is Mr. Big.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love Mr. Big as a character.  He could charm the knickers off a nun.  What I do not love is what he represents.  He is that one guy that every girl has dated.  The unattainable for whatever reason.  The one who broke our heart.  The one who got away.

If we were to use SATC as our bible (but who would do that, seriously?), we would be led to believe that some day our mysterious, elusive Mr. Big will magically reappear back into our lives and we’ll all live happily ever after.  The end.  Newsflash: that’s ridiculous.  When Mr. Big was a douche the first time, Carrie should have kicked him to the curb- for good.  But alas, much easier said than done.  So, fine.  We give the guy another chance.  Still a douche?

Rather than seeing all the good right in front of her (Aidan? Are you effing kidding?) she continues in search of something intangible.  She’s holding out for Mr. Big while simultaneously destroying any and all good that’s right in front of her face.  Sound familiar?  I get it, you don’t want to settle, but there’s a big (no pun intended) difference between “settling” and just being outright stupid.  Get your mind right, little one.  You can go clomping around the globe chasing your Mr. Big but he’s gonna chew you up and spit you out.  A guy who treats you poorly once, always will.  You’d be much better off finding someone who loves you from moment one.

I remember right before my first “real” date with my now fiance.  I wasn’t sold on the whole idea to be honest, but my friend said to me (and I will never forget it), “This is what it looks like when a guy really likes you.”  And she was right.  He pulled out all the stops and really tried.  Once she said that to me, it was a game changer and in some ways, I have her to thank for the way things turned out.

And no, I’m not up on some soapbox just cause I happened to get lucky by meeting the male version of myself.  I’m down in the trenches with you single ladies because I get it.  Hell, I’ve been right down there with you.  I have dated in one of the toughest cities to date in: New York City.  Am I right, ladies?  There I dated some of the biggest douchebags on the planet.  I’m not kidding.  You can check my references.  I’ve been through relationship troubles that would make your stomach turn.  The reason I’m going on and on is because you ladies are beautiful and special and wonderful.  Why on earth would you EVER want someone who didn’t recognize that immediately?  Who wants a guy that took a billion years of hemming and hawing and testing out the other goods before realizing you were “the one”?

You’re better than that.

So my advice to you is to watch SATC for the clothes and Samantha’s sexy boyfriend, Smith rather than for any real life love advice.  It is a TV SHOW afterall.  And for those late adopters, 1. better late than never, 2. go out and splurge on the DVD’s. There is a lot lost in the editing for cable TV (listen, a nipple can go a long way).

xx,

WhyDid