Another year, another round of award shows doling out little metal trophies to folks who may or may not deserve them. But the fun is not in who wins what as much as it is in who wears what.  So, let the self tanner application, lapses in style judgement, and wardrobe malfunctions begin and let’s kick things off with last night’s American Music Awards.

While it’s been a while since I’ve tuned in, some things remain exactly as they did a year ago… and beyond.  These include but are not limited to:

• They’re still letting Chris Brown perform.  Why they even let him out of his cage, I’ll never know, but this white girl won’t be dancing like it’s her birthday when his songs come on.  Ever.
• Jenny McCarthy is still hot.
• You still can’t touch MC Hammer.
• Christina Aguilera still wears leotards when she probably shouldn’t (but she can still sing like nobody’s business, so we’ll give her a pass).
• Pitbull is still making songs that don’t make any logical sense in English or Spanish.
• Crowding the stage with babes in bedazzled bustiers will still cover up any bad performance.
• Taylor Swift is still singing about some boy who did her wrong in something that resembles a bad prom dress.
• Nicki Minaj is still in need of a time out.
• Pink could still kick your ass.
• No Doubt is still as rad as ever.

And while it’s nice to have a bit of stability in your life, I’m a little concerned about America’s choices in music.  Perhaps that’s a better indicator of the state of our nation?  One thing that does seem to be changing is Justin Bieber’s voice (anyone else catch that?) which was quite clear after hearing him dedicate his win to the “haters” (he realizes he’s an eighteen year old 98lb white kid, right?).  So, I decided I was going to come up with my own award categories that seem much, much more important:

Best Legs:

Color of the Evening:

 Most in Need of a New Hairstyle:

So, let’s step it up, folks.  We’ll consider this a “warm up.”  A “rehearsal” if you will.  Last time I checked, which was just now, my socks are still on, so no one particularly blew me away.  Bring on the crazy… I’ve gotta have something to write about.

xx,

WhyDid

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Welp, I guess we’re not wearing pants anymore.  Here’s the lovely Erin Heatherton at Bergdorf’s 111th Anniversary party… wearing (or not wearing) a Jason Wu creation (he’s pictured here with her).

Earlier this week, I posted this photo of Lea Michele on WhyDid’s Facebook page.  Also not wearing pants.  And earlier this year, the beautiful Beyonce was also seen wearing a pantless wonder at the Met Gala.  So, is this a thing now?  If so, I’ll dust off my leotards right now.  I’ve been looking for a good reason for a bikini wax.  You think Lady Gaga is laughing somewhere?  I mean, she started it.

Keep your pants on.

xx,

WhyDid

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Oh, Miley.  You can take the girl out of the country… and put her in a cityscape printed skirt, I suppose.  Listen, I think it’s clear how much I love New York, but I don’t even own, dare I say, an I <3 NY t-shirt.  I appreciate her adoration of Gotham, but from what I can deduce from her outfit, she’s a big fan of Batman.  I mean, look at her bustier.  Tell me it doesn’t resemble the Batmobile.  Is she a walking diorama?  Is she acting out her own Batman sequel wherein she swoops in and saves our fair city?  And what would Lady Liberty say?  Bitch stole my look?

So is Miley’s skyline one you’d like to see?

xx,

WhyDid

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Let’s go ahead and start off by saying it takes a whole heck of a lot to make Jessica Biel look bad.  That face, that hair, that body.  She’s working with all the right equipment, so when I saw this picture of her traipsing all over Paris in this over the top get up, I had to hold an intervention.  Girl, why so much?  At first I just assumed this had to be a costume for some upcoming movie role about an 80′s hair band or something, but lo and behold, she was just shopping at Fendi.  Yikes.  To be fair, I’d actually like each of the pieces if worn individually, but the combination of the jacket, top, pants, and boots is just too much.  I like studs as much as the next gal, but this just seems to be a bit overkill.  Thoughts?

xx,

WhyDid

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My computer clearly didn’t want my opinion on this year’s Emmy Awards Red Carpet, but I don’t believe for one minute that you guys didn’t.  Afterall, my two cents is more like a million bucks.  So, here we go.  Above are my four favorites from the evening, while below, well…

So, some curtains, a banana, a gingerbread man, and a mermaid walk into a bar.  Okay, I’ve got nothing, but wouldn’t that have made a great joke?  If you’ve got one, please do share.  While all of these ladies are quite lovely, their red carpet garb was anything but.  I just can’t understand how Emmy nominated actresses can’t afford full length mirrors… or a competent stylist.

And the winner is…

xx,

WhyDid

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