It’s that time of year again. You know what I’m talking about. Company Christmas party time. Oh boy… I wonder if these are just orchestrated in order to cut overhead by reducing manpower in the new year. Some of the insane behavior that occurs during these parties is just shameful. Last year, the illustrious TJ Kelly (Why In Gay Hell?) gave some pointers on proper holiday behavior and I get a feeling it may be important to revisit some of these points as well as discuss proper attire.
A few key pointers:
Do not get hammered. I know the booze is free and you had a hell of a day crunching the numbers for next month’s budget, but tonight is not the night. Limit your cocktail intake to two.
Holiday parties are also not the time to reveal the crush you’ve had on Sally from accounting either. Just because the atmosphere is relaxed for the evening, doesn’t mean it will be when you awake tomorrow.
Going along with the previous pointer, this is also not the time to act on (read: hook up) with said crush. This has disaster written all over it.
I have always been a firm believer in keeping your professional life and social life somewhat separate. Certain things are just not meant to mix. You don’t need to be an ice cold, antisocial bitch, but there is also no need to fill everyone in on each detail of your failing relationship. Don’t forget, your boss is still your boss.
Now onto “what to wear.” They may suggest that the attire is more “casual” but that doesn’t mean “look like a slob.” On the same note, there is no reason to over do it. Most importantly, do not over “sexify” yourself. Wear something you’d feel comfortable wearing to a normal day in the office but add at touch of holiday spirit with sequins, velvet, plaid, or color.
Sooo it’s “Beach Week” here at WhyDid and obviously you can’t go prancing around the pool looking pasty. So what’s a girl to do? Get a tan, of course! I don’t mean go fry yourself under a heat lamp like a piece of fried chicken. No one looks good with premature wrinkles and skin cancer. I mean fake the funk with a fake tan. To illustrate this, WhyDon’tYouEatMe, WhyDidYouWearThat, and I set off on a spray tan adventure which we’ll share with you below. Sit back, switch your heat lamp off and enjoy.
Sooo what was the outcome? Well, we’re all tan. We all have some degree of “tan palms.” The Fusion Glow tan of WhyDon’tYouEatMe was the most subtle and just gave a slightly sunkissed glow. A Tan For All Seasons gave WhyDidYouWearThat a bronze tan that looks like she spent a few days at the beach. It actually came out very brown as opposed to orange like a tangerine. And as for me? I am not nearly as tan as I was hoping to be. If you are only looking to be somewhat tan, Tan Towel is a good option, but not if you want to look like you spent a week baking in Jamaica. All in all, we all look beach ready. Remember, people, a fake tan is not a real base tan and you should ALWAYS use some type of sunscreen when basking in the UV rays. I mean, Why In Gay Hell would you want to look like a lobster when you can look like a Greek god?
Three weeks ago, I found myself in a conversation about male waxing. It was a funny conversation that left me with a few questions. The main one being are men getting their lower regions waxed? I mean, I am all about personal grooming- I get my hair did, eyebrows waxed, beard trimmed, facials etc. With all of these services I am at total ease with letting the professionals take care of it, but the below the belt stuff I take care of myself. Until three weeks ago I was completely unaware that men could even get waxed..down there, at first thought I was horrified…I mean Why In Gay Hell would you wax your balls?
Well, after a thorough investigation into the world of male waxing , I found that it is much more popular than I thought. So, I decided…if everyone else is doing it, I want to do it too! (I mean, when in Rome…).
Now this is a very delicate area to have waxed soooo I want the BEST and this led me to Face to Face Spa to meet a star in his field…. Enrique Ramirez. Enrique is a master in the field of male waxing (he is a master in all aesthetics actually) and he is also the owner of the spa. The male waxing services are cleverly named to sound less intimidating: full moon rising, crack down, south of the border, and my favorite, the marble sac and shaft! I decided on the crack down and the marble sac and shaft. I mean, go big or go home, right? The pain was minimal and well worth the results. I don’t know about other guys out there, but with shaving there is a lot of maintenance. With waxing, you’re smooth and hairless for a month- and when I say smooth I mean like a baby’s ass! The trick to getting waxed is finding a person you’re comfortable with. Let’s be honest, it’s very hands on (to say the least). Enrique is sooo professional and personable that the whole situation from start to hairless ass finish was a delight.
Now, of course, WhyDidYouWearThat and I had to video this journey and we have posted it below to share with you (probably not work appropriate – just a warning). it also has an interview with Mr Enrique himself! Sooo enjoy the video and ask yourself Why In gay Hell wouldn’t I get waxed?
You may think cupcakes are all fun and games. I mean, what kind of harm could a cupcake do (besides add a few vanity pounds)? Well, let me tell you how a box of cupcakes nearly ruined my life.
I, like most girls, sometimes get ahead of myself when it comes to relationships. I mean, on a first date I already know what our wedding looks like, the house we will live in, and our childrens’ names (yes, names vary on the guy). I know I just recently wrote a blog about learning to love myself and yes, we are still on that journey… but, I can date, right? ……WRONG
Well, not so long ago I started talking to a guy and when we first started talking it was just as friends. The nice thing about this was there were no labels put on it. It was just two people talking, getting to know one another, enjoying each other. You get my drift. I am a lunatic though and after the first week, my heart started racing and I grew emotionally attached. I was very honest with how UNREALISTIC these feelings of ”love” were and I expressed this to WhyDidYouWearThat quite often. I also knew in my heart, the timing was wrong for this (something else discussed in length with WDYWT). I knew it wouldn’t be long til I was like an REO Speedwagon song saying, “I cant Fight This Feeling Anymore.”
Sooo we kept it light for as long as we could, but the attraction and the chemistry was undeniable. The Friday before Valentine’s Day we had dinner and it was a great night except towards the end of dinner the conversation fell on the topic of US. What are we? What are we doing? Where do we want to go with this? The conversation seemed to go well and we decided to keep things simple and just continue to get to know each other. Before we said, “goodnight” for the evening I asked him to go to the movies with me on Sunday. Yes, Valentine’s Day. He accepted and my heart rejoiced. I rode away on my unicorn with a smile on my face.
Valentine’s Day comes along. I go and purchase a card for him with the help of WDYWT. It was perfect. It said “Congrats, you’re my Valentine.” And because Cupid had hit me in the ass with one of his damn arrows, I went to the delish Billy’s Bakery and purchased my guy some cupcakes. I was in a romantic comedy in my head. Little did I know, the joke was on me. Right before we were supposed to meet, he calls. He informs me he can’t do this anymore. He likes me too much and is not ready to get attached… and that he can’t talk to me anymore. I am not very often speechless, but I was at a complete loss for words and all I managed to mutter before hanging up was, “OK.” I am now sitting at my desk, teary eyed, and staring at these damn cupcakes. The cupcakes that now make me want to throw myself in front of a speeding cab. The only thought running through my head is, “NOBODY is ever going to want my cupcakes….NOBODY!!”
Well, all I have to say is thank god for good friends because good friends always want your cupcakes. So, I hopped in a cab and headed right over to WhyDidYouWearThat‘s apartment where I proceeded to talk about my insanity while we ate every last crumb of the cupcakes. I mean, Who In Gay Hell would waste good cupcakes?
Now, the cupcake fiasco for me does not stop there. The Wednesday following Valentine’s Day, I am at work and a man walks in with a delivery for me from Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery….Cupcakes!! The card attached has no name, but simply says, “Miss You.” I am sent into a tailspin. I want to believe that “the guy” sent these cupcakes. I want to believe he realized he made a mistake and these are “I’m sorry” cupcakes. Sooo, I call the bakery to ask who sent them (more Nancy Drew detective work), they tell me they are not at liberty to tell me who sent them. I beg. They still refuse.
As I pig out on the delish cupcakes, I ponder who else could’ve sent them. I want them to be from “him”, but what if they aren’t? Turns out… it wasn’t “him.” A boy did send the cupcakes, but it was not the boy I wanted it to be. They were from another boy I went on a couple dates with months ago. A boy I had totally forgotten about. I mean what in gay hell are the chances that on Sunday I would buy cupcakes for someone who did not want them from me… and then three days later receive cupcakes from someone I did not want them from? Who knew that cupcakes could be so problematic? Well, I can say last week I literally had my cupcakes and ate them too. Why In Gay Hell not?
As some of you may know, we’re getting fancy over here at WhyDid… Christmas either came really early or kinda late for us yesterday. We got ourselves a pretty pink Flip video camera. So you know what that means, right? MORE OF OUR PRETTY FACES!! I know! You’re welcome. Here’s a clip of WhyInGayHell and I testing it out. Just your typical Friday afternoon… (please pardon the mess and WIGH’s munching).