I’ve been bombarded with commercials, tweets, and status updates about “Black Friday” shopping. Not to sound like a snob, but I am not, nor have I ever, participated in what I consider such a barbaric event. I don’t care how large a flat screen I can get or how many cashmere sweaters I can snag if it means that I will be forced to wait in the freezing cold with a bunch of cattle and then be pushed around, trampled, and most likely verbally assaulted once inside. No, thank you. Not worth it. That said, here are ten things I’d rather do than go shopping on Black Friday:
- Go ice fishing with my bare hands.
- Clean the bathroom with poisonous products and a fresh manicure.
- Long division with no calculator.
- Drink vinegar through a pink straw.
- Watch the Kanye West Runaway “movie” on repeat.
- Go sit in an office all day with a bunch of twatards who don’t know what they’re talking about.
- Go rock climbing with no harness on Mt. Everest.
- Walk home uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes while carrying a bale of hay.
- Have a root canal performed by my dog with no anesthesia.
- Wear leggings as pants.
Enjoy those sales!
- Demi Moore in this Balmain dress… I mean, I can’t. She looks insane! Ashton doesn’t look too bad either.
- Leighton Meester, always picture perfect in Elie Saab.
- Claire Danes proves that simple black is always chic with this Lanvin gown.
- Sienna Miller is absolutely stunning in Stella McCartney. Take note, Riri. This is the way nude is done.
- Selita Ebanks steps out and shines in this little number. Not sure who she’s wearing, but it’s a hell of a lot better than that bird get up in Kanye’s Runaway “movie.”
- Never thought I’d see the day. Here is Rachel Zoe at Lanvin’s Halloween Party looking the way she always should. Glam.
- Freida Pinto wearing Chritian Dior in a shade of green that was meant for her.
- Speaking of green, the sexiest woman alive, Minka Kelly, sports a mini that just makes us green with envy.
- Demi has been working it out this week. Here she is in an outfit that looks like it came straight from WhyDid’s closet. Can you believe this woman is 47?!
- And last, but most certainly not least we have the absolutely adorable Violet Affleck looking precisely how a little girl should look. Sugar, spice, and everything nice.
Have a wonderful weekend.