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Red Carpet Recap: MTV BMA’s

By |August 25th, 2014|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

mtv vmas miley cyrus jesse beyonce blue ivyLast night marked MTV’s 31st Annual Video Music Awards and also the fact that I’m way too old to be watching it.  My friends and I kept exchanging puzzled looks as one unrecognizable (to us) tween took to the red carpet after the next.  I had never been so excited to see Gwen Stefani or Jennifer Lopez as I was last night.  Phew!  Somebody we knew.  It became quite clear as to why E! has cornered the market on red carpet pre-shows.  As I quickly found myself on the brink of a melodramatic meltdown, I yelled at my TV,   “Sway, WHO ARE THEY WEARING?”  After having cooled my rage with a glass of prosecco, the actual show began.

Within seconds of the opening act, I was concerned that Nicki Minaj had somehow pirated the entire event as there was much more booty on stage than on any ship.  She became this year’s Miley while pirouetting her posterior to her current single, “Anaconda”, which left me hoping Sir Mix A Lot was somewhere wiping his own rear with all the royalty money he received from that song.  She then joined Jessie J. who forgot her pants and Ariana Grande who appears to have a perma hairstyle for their song, “Bang Bang” complete with wardrobe malfunction.  She later joined Usher for his song, aptly named, “She Came To Give It To You.”

Right around the time I’d given up on humanity and started Googling how to obtain an Australian work visa, Miley Cyrus shocked audiences again. This time, however, it had nothing to do with flagrant twerking or her wayward tongue. When she won the VMA for Video of the Year, instead of accepting the award herself, her handsome mystery date took the stage.  He identified himself as “Jesse” and proceeded to deliver a touching speech revealing that he, himself, had grown up homeless which was hard to imagine as he looked like far less homeless than the boys of Five Seconds to Summer in his well tailored suit.  He encouraged viewers to learn more about My Friend’s Place and to get involved by visiting and donating on Miley’s site.

But (with a capital “B”)  Queen B., herself, Beyonce, was not about to be outdone.  Bey performed for a solid fifteen minutes in a stunning jewel encrusted leotard before accepting the Video Vanguard Award from her husband, Jay-Z and the absolutely adorable Blue Ivy.  If all those divorce rumors do have any merit, she should have picked up an Oscar as well.

The other big “B” for last night had to be for Balmain as Jordan Dunn, Chanel Iman, Joan Smalls, and Kim Kardashian all wore the label.  Pro-tip: Do not show up to an awards show wearing the same thing as a supermodel.  While Katy Perry and her date, Riff Raff, gave a nostalgic nod to Britney and Justin, everyone’s favorite good girl wore a romper so short, she could have been a Minaj backup dancer.  Black was a red carpet favorite, but all renditions from sheer paneling to leather pants felt fresh and innovative rather than basic and boring.  Red, pink, and blue were the other colors that were most prevalent, mainly in jewel shades.  While everyone looked “nice,” I didn’t feel floored by anyone in particular… except for Amber Rose, that is.

Ban-Do:

miley cyrus jourdan dunn mtv vmaJourdan Dunn in Balmain, Miley Cyrus in Alexandre Vauthier

Anything but Basic Black:

kendall kylie jenner red carpet chanel imanKendall Jenner in Alon Livne, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier, Chanel Iman in Balmain

Power Couples:

ireland baldwin adam levine mtv vmaIreland Baldwin in Roberto Cavalli and Angel Haze in Helmut Lang, Adam Levine Behati Prinsloo

Sister, Sister:

beyonce vma red carpetBeyonce in Nicolas Jebran, Solange Knowles in H&M Studio

Fulfill Your Destiny:

mtv vma red carpetKelly Rowland in Kaufman Franco, Michelle Williams

Soft and Subtle:

mtv vma red carpetKesha in Johanna Johnson, Jessie J in vintage Halston

Silver Lining:

iggy azalea jennifer lopez red carpet vmaIggy Azalea in Versace, Jennifer Lopez in Charbel Zoe

Animal Instinct:

2014 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals Nicki Minaj, Charli XCX in Moschino

Red Alert:

mtv vmas rita ora demi lovato red carpetRita Orain Donna Karan Atelier, Demi Lovato in Lanvin

Double Trouble:

kim kardashian joan smalls mtv vmasKim Kardashian West in Balmain, Joan Smalls in Balmain

Pink Ladies:

gwen stefani chloe moretz mtv vmaGwen Stefani in L.A.M.B. Couture, Chloe Moretz in Louis Vuitton

Cobalt Queens:

sarah hyland julianne hough mtv vmasSarah Hyland in Kaufman Franco, Julianne Hough in Emilio Pucci

Singing the Blues:

katy perry riff raff taylor swift mtv vma red carpetKaty Perry and Riff Raff in custom Versace, Taylor Swift in Mary Katrantzou

 You’ve Got Chainmail:wiz khalifa amber rose mtv vma

Wiz Khalifa, Amber Rose in Laura Dewitt

 xx,

WhyDid

 

 

The List Volume XXXV

By |January 8th, 2011|The List|

Sorry for the delay. Traveling from one coast to the other has a tendency to throw you somewhat off schedule. That being said, airports are a great place to gather annoyance.  Without further adieu, here is this week’s list in its regular format.

  1. Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper. You’re not fooling anyone.
  2. Overly plucked eyebrows.
  3. Jeans without pockets. They’re just about as bad as leggings in my book. Plus NO ONE looks good in them. I don’t care how cute your tuchus is. 
  4. Flameless candles. I mean, really? Aren’t those just called lights?
  5. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I wanted as an 18 year old young woman was a 16 year old boy.
  6. Ingrown hairs.
  7. Kim Kardashian’s nose 3.0. Stop preaching to little girls to “learn to love what they see in the mirror” when what you really mean is “make a sex tape that makes you enough money so you can afford to change anything you don’t like in the mirror.”
  8. Paying for luggage on airplanes.  Perhaps if you didn’t charge us, there wouldn’t be such a clusterfuck when it comes to the overhead bins.
  9. Self entitled undeserving people.  Know your role. And while we’re at it, slow your roll.
  10. Cankles.

xx,

WhyDid