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The List Volume LVIII

By |October 28th, 2011|The List|

Last week, I challenged you to make even the most mundane items slutty.  This week, let’s just go ahead and point out the already played out Halloween costumes for this year (seemed to work out for you folks last year).

  1. Black Swan.  You’ve been planning this for 9 months haven’t you?
  2. Nicki Minaj.  This is this year’s Lady Gaga.
  3. Charlie Sheen.
  4. Amy Winehouse.  Just ew.
  5. Steve Jobs.  Too soon.
  6. Pan Am flight attendant.
  7. Any of the Kardashians. Ever.
  8. Angry Birds.
  9. William and Kate.
  10. Justin Bieber.

Hey, there’s still time to make a swap.

xx,
WhyDid

 

P.S. Last year’s list.

The List Volume LII

By |August 27th, 2011|The List|

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I’m writing this post from my phone so that I, too, may pretend that my power’s gone out and am facing the wrath of “Hurricane” Irene.

1. New York. Do you happen to be related to the Kardashians? Cause you’re acting like a total media whore this week. First an earthquake now a hurricane?

2. People who wait til they’re ON the plane to eat. No, by all means, eat your burrito on my lap. Want me to hold your drink?

3. Having to pay $7.99 to watch cable TV on a plane. Hey, Continental, you already charged me $25 for a bag, you couldn’t gift me a few House Hunters International reruns?

4. Folks who take credit for “coming up with” something. Just cause you were within a five mile radius doesn’t mean you had anything to do with it.

5. Bad Girls Club. Who watches that? No, I’m seriously asking.

6. Smitty’s breath.

7. Our media outlets amping up anything they can to make a story. You’re making our already melodramatic society even more so.

8. People pretending to have perfect lives. We’re all effed up. Join our club.

9. The phrase, “That’s what I’m talking about!” What are you talking about?

10. Blogging from my iPhone.

xx,
WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Grasping At Straws

By |January 13th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

While I tried to sleep last night with a dog curled around my left foot and a cat purring like a diesel engine in my right ear, I wasn’t particularly thrilled to wake up to a talking cat on TV this morning. That’s right, Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch was my wakeup call.  Seeing as our family zoo partied all night, I was far too tired to bother changing the channel before opening my laptop and sipping on my morning beverage. So, when the credits rolled for Sabrina, I still didn’t bother changing the channel.  I was too immersed in Twitter updates and Google Analytics to exert the extra effort.

Then something caught my ears:

“Everything you’re chasing is worth nothing.”

Some creepy spiritual infomercial was on, but this gentleman put into words something I have thought to myself many times.  Right before I moved to Los Angeles, I think I was guilty of this very same thing.  For so long, I had been putting emphasis on all the wrong things.  Things that just did not and should not matter.

I am no longer 22, bright eyed and naive, so why in the world would I still be chasing the same things?  The novelty of nightclubs and i-bankers and “celebrities” should wear off after a while, shouldn’t it?  When does one realize that  he or she is not a celebrity and is most likely not going to be receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame any time soon?  Why on earth are so many people still grasping at straws and trying to “live the dream”?

Our culture has somehow tricked itself into thinking that we are all a whole lot more important than we really are.  With reality shows focusing on just about every topic under the sun and “stars” who are famous for adding nothing of value to humanity (talking to you Kardashians and Hilton), we all are under the impression that fame and fortune is just within reach.

The sad truth is that most people will never reach fame or fortune but will certainly exhaust themselves trying.  Racking up credit card debt to buy “things” that make them feel good temporarily and to be “seen” at places that will make them feel “cool” in that moment.  At the end of the day, none of this garbage matters.  It’s all just white noise.

The things that matter are much simpler.  Meaningful relationships, family, health, and kindess are just a few to start.  Unfortunately, for some, they may not even realize what’s important until it is too late. And alas, they’ll be the last one in the nightclub with cranberry stains on their clothes and the janitors mopping the floor. Alone.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XXV

By |October 29th, 2010|The List|

Oh it’s that time of year again.  The time of year that women exploit their sexuality. I love costumes. I love themes. I hate brainless costumes. I hate cliches. Come on, you had all year to come up with something good and you opted for a slutty bumblebee?  Here’s ten costumes I BETTER not see this weekend:

  1. Lady Gaga. In any way, shape, or form.
  2. Hooters girl. It wasn’t funny the first time. Guess what? It still isn’t funny.
  3. Anyone from the Jersey Shore. Make it stop.
  4. Anyone from Glee. No one’s gonna know who you are anyway.
  5. This thing:
  6. Anything from Twilight. I mean, haven’t we had ENOUGH?
  7. Any costume that came in a plastic bag or from Ricky’s. Use your noggin.
  8. A slutty nurse/taxi driver/school girl/ballerina/red riding hood/Tinkerbell/firefighter/toaster/martini. Basically anything that requires the word “sexy” in front of it.
  9. The Kardashians.
  10. Chilean miners. Too soon.

Happy haunting, bitches.

xx,

WhyDid