Three Strikes and You’re Out!

While perusing DListed today, I caught sight of something that disturbed me… more than normal.

Oh, I’m sorry, Ms. Anderson, did I NOT already talk to you about this outfit?? Let’s go ahead and overlook the fact that you’re carrying around a book about “big penises” and just talk about you not only RE-WEARING a dress, but a dress that was unflattering and ugly the FIRST time you wore it.  I heard you were having some financial troubles, but I can’t imagine that things got so bad that you needed to recycle FUPA enhancing frocks. Oh Pam… you could always make another sex tape. Cougars are all the rage these days. Just a suggestion.

xx,

WhyDid

Somebody Call 911…

I know it’s probably not nice to pick on poor Mischa after being hospitalized for a mental breakdown, but…

Seriously???  I’m thinking that perhaps this photo is, in fact, actually what may have caused her hospitalization.  After seeing herself looking like a complete and utter train wreck, she realized she had truly lost her mind. Not sure exactly where to start, but I guess the dress is as good a place as any.

It looks like a reject from Frederick’s of Hollywood or perhaps she is taking Shark Week a little too seriously and was going for the “I just got attacked by Jaws and lived to tell about it” look.  Either way, it’s a disaster and her FUPA is in full view. Ever heard of Spanx?

Tights in July/August? Probably not unless you are living much closer to the North/South Pole. Rule of thumb, if your dress is too short to be worn without tights, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it and it’s probably actually a shirt.

Her bloated head, crazy eyes, and mangled mane aren’t really helping her look either. She needs a blow out and dry shampoo STAT. 

Cherry on top? The woman in the left of this photo who seems to be biting her lip and thinking, “Oooh, girl…”  We’re with you, lady. 

I hope that Mischa comes out of the hospital looking as fresh as she did in her days as Marissa on The OC.  Along with a little rehab and a few self help books, she could probably use a style exorcism. Sending our love, Mischa.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

Oh Pam…  It’s hard for me to do this, but…

You are no longer the young C.J. Parker of your Baywatch glory days.  Though I must say, you have hung in there pretty well.  There is really not much wrong with the actual outfit itself, it’s just the execution.  The dress is a nice colorand your shoes are fantastic.  However, stretch charmeuse is difficult for even the tiniest of women to pull off without weird bumps and lines.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with the term, FUPA, but that is what this is.  Might I introduce you to Spanx?  Listen, no one can rock a one piece the way Pam used to, but sometimes we need to come to terms with getting older and needing to wear shaping undergarments.  No shame in that. 

I’m sure it is difficult for a beautiful woman once known as a sex symbol to age, but I sincerely hope that Pam starts to tone it down and age gracefully.  Not going to hold my breath, but it’s a nice thought.