Why Did You Wear That: Stopping Short

By |April 3rd, 2012|Why Did You Wear That?|

celebrities crop topsThis past weekend, three of Tinsletown’s loveliest ladies were all seen sporting a little bit of bare midriff while walking the red (err… orange?) carpet.  This bit of belly is different from the crop tops of a couple summers past.  It’s not so much belly button as it is rib cage.  It’s the teeniest little peek-a-boo of skin that is both sexy and playful.  It’s less Christina Aguilera Genie in a Bottle and a bit more Gidget Goes Hawaiian.  And for anyone who was ever a bit self conscious about showing some torso, don’t worry.  This is much more wearable and will keep that fearsome FUPA under wraps.

cropped bustier tops1. Missoni Elsa Cropped Crochet Knit Top, $530, 2. FP New Romantics Woven Bustier, $78, 3. Material Girl Bustier, $29, 4. Dolce & Gabbana Chili Pepper Print Cotton Bustier, $1000, 5. MinkPink Support Group Bustier, $35, 6. Mara Hoffman Embroidered Bustier Top, $207, 7. Topshop Petite Cutout Swan Bralet, $52, 8. Smith Denim Bustier, $80, 9. Free People Kiki Top, $78, 10. SO Dot Convertible Mini Bustier, $14.99

While some are referring to these as “bralettes” that’s not quite the right term.  (Did I not already school you in bralettes?).  I would consider these to be cropped bustier tops.  You’ll have much more luck when searching using those terms.  The trick to this look is pairing your teeny top with a high waisted skirt or slacks.  That way your outfit will read “le petite coquette” rather than “big dirty whore.”

crop top high waist skirtcrop top: Free People Vegan Leather Bustier, $78, high waist: Pleasure Doing Business Bandage Seam Striped Skirt, $165



Why Did You Wear That: Jump On It

By |July 19th, 2011|Personal Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

There she is.  The romper’s big sister, the jumpsuit.  Let it be known, I love a good romper, but sometimes, a girl needs a little variety.  That’s where the jumpsuit comes in.  While the romper is considered to be quite casual, a jumpsuit can easily be accessorized into a striking evening option.

Some good things about jumpsuits:

  • It’s one stop dressing!  Your top and your pants are connected!
  • Wearing a jumpsuit is kind of like wearing adult onesie pajamas.
  • It’s no coincidence that when I try to type jumpsuit, I keep typing “humpsuit.”

Some less than good things about jumpsuits:

  • Probably not going to attract too many fellas with your new jumpsuit induced FUPA.
  • Awkward moments in the bathroom.

Ready to “jump” on this trend?  I like to go all 80’s when accessorizing this trend.  Deep side part, pearl accessories, and shimmery makeup.  Depending on the type of jumpsuit, you could do both heels or flats (though I might point out you already look like a jerk- probably best to stick with heels).  Remember to allot extra time for the restroom and you’re good to go.

1. Sunahara El Sol Jumpsuit, $125, 2. Free People Floral Printed Romper, $118, 3. Theory Garvie Cotton and Modal Jumpsuit, $215,  4. Halston Heritage Cold Shoulder Jumpsuit, $125, 5. Alice + Olivia Dawn Pleated Top Jumpsuit, $440,  6. Lucy in Disguise The Roxy Jumpsuit, $305, 7. Rachel Roy 24 Hour Jumpsuit, $129, 8. Karina Grimaldi Basic Jumper, $239



Why Did You Wear That: Three Strikes and You’re Out!

By |December 11th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

While perusing DListed today, I caught sight of something that disturbed me… more than normal.



Oh, I’m sorry, Ms. Anderson, did I NOT already talk to you about this outfit?? Let’s go ahead and overlook the fact that you’re carrying around a book about “big penises” and just talk about you not only RE-WEARING a dress, but a dress that was unflattering and ugly the FIRST time you wore it.  I heard you were having some financial troubles, but I can’t imagine that things got so bad that you needed to recycle FUPA enhancing frocks. Oh Pam… you could always make another sex tape. Cougars are all the rage these days. Just a suggestion.



Why Did You Wear That: Somebody Call 911…

By |August 4th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

I know it’s probably not nice to pick on poor Mischa after being hospitalized for a mental breakdown, but…


Seriously???  I’m thinking that perhaps this photo is, in fact, actually what may have caused her hospitalization.  After seeing herself looking like a complete and utter train wreck, she realized she had truly lost her mind. Not sure exactly where to start, but I guess the dress is as good a place as any.

It looks like a reject from Frederick’s of Hollywood or perhaps she is taking Shark Week a little too seriously and was going for the “I just got attacked by Jaws and lived to tell about it” look.  Either way, it’s a disaster and her FUPA is in full view. Ever heard of Spanx?

Tights in July/August? Probably not unless you are living much closer to the North/South Pole. Rule of thumb, if your dress is too short to be worn without tights, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it and it’s probably actually a shirt.

Her bloated head, crazy eyes, and mangled mane aren’t really helping her look either. She needs a blow out and dry shampoo STAT.

Cherry on top? The woman in the left of this photo who seems to be biting her lip and thinking, “Oooh, girl…”  We’re with you, lady.

I hope that Mischa comes out of the hospital looking as fresh as she did in her days as Marissa on The OC.  Along with a little rehab and a few self help books, she could probably use a style exorcism. Sending our love, Mischa.



Why Did You Wear That: Baywatch Out

By |March 19th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

Oh Pam…  It’s hard for me to do this, but…


You are no longer the young C.J. Parker of your Baywatch glory days.  Though I must say, you have hung in there pretty well.  There is really not much wrong with the actual outfit itself, it’s just the execution.  The dress is a nice color and your shoes are fantastic.  However, stretch charmeuse is difficult for even the tiniest of women to pull off without weird bumps and lines.


I’m not sure if you are familiar with the term, FUPA, but that is what this is.  Might I introduce you to Spanx?  Listen, no one can rock a one piece the way Pam used to, but sometimes we need to come to terms with getting older and needing to wear shaping undergarments.  No shame in that.

I’m sure it is difficult for a beautiful woman once known as a sex symbol to age, but I sincerely hope that Pam starts to tone it down and age gracefully.  Not going to hold my breath, but it’s a nice thought.