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The List XVII

By |August 27th, 2010|The List|

broken mirror

I mean, I’m about to start listing people by first name… But alas, I will save you the embarrassment.

  1. Turtlenecks in summer. I don’t care if it doesn’t have sleeves or is a dress.
  2. Girls with shitty hair who insist on growing it out. Know your role.
  3. While on the subject, not everyone is meant to be blonde. (This goes double for those of you not genetically predisposed).
  4. “Sunday Funday.” This couldn’t be more overused. It’s Sunday… guess what that means… Tomorrow’s Monday and everyone knows that’s not very fun.
  5. Shit talkers. How’s your breath? No, seriously. How is it?
  6. Guys who think the waitress wants to F&*#. She just wants a tip… and not the tip of your …
  7. Waitresses who whore themselves out to guys drinking beer. They are not big spenders and I need a refill. Thanks.
  8. Co-workers who throw out your lunch. Looks like I need my own Fridge Locker.
  9. People who re-Tweet celebrities, verified accounts, horoscopes, and quotes. We get it, they said EXACTLY what you were thinking. Chances are we’re all following them too, so we don’t need you to re-Tweet their shit. Thanks.
  10. YOU.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did Wisdom: I Don’t Need This

By |August 21st, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

DermaTend_TV

We are constantly bombarded with things we don’t need. People are making millions and millions of dollars inventing items that we never knew we wanted until they put together an informercial and we were awake way too late one night. Now we have a closet full of As Seen On TV products.

Well, here are few more that you’re definitely going to want. Enjoy.

There is something concerning about the fact that this item seems to be targeted solely at big breasted women and children. How is it that you plan on explaining to your child what exactly is meant by “Tiddy”? Let me know how that conversation goes. And really, who is driving that aggressively that their seatbelt is causing such severe pain? Perhaps enrolling in driving school would be more helpful?

I mean, I don’t even know what to say about this. I felt uncomfortable even watching. This makes the Shake Weight seem tame. Please, if you DO buy this, send me the footage of your co-workers’ reactions as you girate beneath your desk. Thank you.

I think my favorite part of this one is when they go ahead and call in the 800lb grizzly bear. (They also make a note not to “try this at home.” Right… cause we all have access to grizzly bears). I mean, I know there are some sneaky people in offices who steal your food even after you’ve bedazzled your tupperware with your initials, but COME ON.

Happy Saturday.

xx,

WhyDid