broken mirror

I mean, I’m about to start listing people by first name… But alas, I will save you the embarrassment.

  1. Turtlenecks in summer. I don’t care if it doesn’t have sleeves or is a dress.
  2. Girls with shitty hair who insist on growing it out. Know your role.
  3. While on the subject, not everyone is meant to be blonde. (This goes double for those of you not genetically predisposed).
  4. “Sunday Funday.” This couldn’t be more overused. It’s Sunday… guess what that means… Tomorrow’s Monday and everyone knows that’s not very fun.
  5. Shit talkers. How’s your breath? No, seriously. How is it?
  6. Guys who think the waitress wants to F&*#. She just wants a tip… and not the tip of your …
  7. Waitresses who whore themselves out to guys drinking beer. They are not big spenders and I need a refill. Thanks.
  8. Co-workers who throw out your lunch. Looks like I need my own Fridge Locker.
  9. People who re-Tweet celebrities, verified accounts, horoscopes, and quotes. We get it, they said EXACTLY what you were thinking. Chances are we’re all following them too, so we don’t need you to re-Tweet their shit. Thanks.
  10. YOU.