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The List Volume VII

By |June 4th, 2010|The List|

overit

I nearly had to make a top 20 list this week seeing as I had already filled eight of ten spots by Tuesday. But alas, here is the abridged version:

  1. Feet on the window or dashboard while in an automobile. Really?BF0018-001
  2. Denim cut offs to the knee. All I want to do is hand you a Bud Light in a coozie. who told you this was cute, let alone flattering?Isabel-Lucas-diesel-jeans-cut-off-shorts-JT-1mary-kate-olsen-boyfriends-house-03
  3. People who come up and touch my dog without asking and without ever acknowleding my presence. Hi.
  4. People who bark at my dog. That’s just weird. Do you speak dog? **sidenote: my ex once barked at a man who was chatting me up when he came back from the bathroom. That was pretty funny (but also weird).
  5. Long natural nails. fake nails are gross, but these are grosser. I want to call the health dept.longnails
  6. Belly button jewelry. Time to move on, people. This was cool when Britney was relevant.
  7. Girls who ‘whooo.’ I’m talking to you, Bachelorette Ali.
  8. Inane Facebook status updates. I don’t need to know that you’re tired, you stubbed your toe, or you need more coffee. Unless you’re sharing a cappuccino with Jay-Z, Jigga Man, himself, don’t bother updating us.
  9. People who think they are famous. You’re not. It’s cool, I’m not either. Nor is the majority of the population.
  10. Smiley faces made like this =) It is a colon : not an equal sign =

ugh. Life’s hard. Have a good weekend.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Jessica Simpson

By |March 12th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

Dear Jessica Simpson,
Thank you. Thank you for wearing short shorts that are completely inappropriate for your body type. Thank you for finally giving in and realizing that you are never going to be rail thin and are not, in fact, a size 25.  Thank you for making me feel better about eating truffle mac and cheese last night.

tunda-tighs

Luckily for Jess, denim cut offs are making a come back for summer, so she’s spared there.  Unfortunately for Jess, wearing an eyelet bustier and plaid flannel shirt with her cut offs looks ridiculous.  We get it. You’re going country. (P.S. I think she’s hungry and trying to eat the microphone. Someone get her a snack so she doesn’t chip a tooth).

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I hope that audience members seated in the first two rows of this performance were given some sort of protective eyewear because at any given moment, her bustier is about to burst open and those little hook and eyes are going to go flying! (Can you say, “lawsuit”?)

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Ah, yes.  The ever so sweet dance moves of J. Simp.  Do you remember the “Little Bit” video?  Yes, I’ve had beef (pun intended) with Jessica since ’99.

Anyway, thanks again, Jess for making us all feel better about our thighs today.

xx,

WhyDid