So, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym lately (you try watching yourself getting spray tanned in a bikini and tell me how you feel) and I have made quite a few startling observations. One being that most people look really funny running on the treadmill. Another being that people wear incredibly bizarre things to work out.

The other day, I spotted some serious cougars wearing cleavage baring tank tops and walking on the treadmills. I mean, this is not a bar or a pick up joint, ladies. I’m here to get my cardio on. That would require me strapping my two best girls down as to not look like a Baywatch re-run. Sports bras, not your push up bra, should always be worn. They help fight gravity and they will wick away the moisture (ladies don’t sweat, we glisten) rather than soak it up like the padding in your bra.

The gym is also where the thin line between appropriate and inappropriate legging wear is dangerously thin. I, myself, have been known to wear leggings to the gym (I KNOW!!). So what makes it okay and not okay? Well, they should basically ALWAYS be black. White is an absolute NO. You can see every dimple of cellulite. Heather grey will show every speck of sweat… er, glisten. So just stick with the tried and true. Now let’s address that cameltoe.  It’s basically inevitable, but luckily, my girls at Bye Bye Lines have created all types of things (panties, liners, and pants) to fight that frontal wedgie. Crisis averted.

I’m also baffled by the girls who come with a full face of make up to the gym. Go ahead and add this to my list of pet peeves. I mean, I get that some people are coming from work and may have a little bit on, but full on photoshoot style makeup?  I hope they realize that this is TERRIBLE for your skin! All that sweat and makeup is adult acne waiting to happen! Let your skin breathe! If you are coming from work or somewhere that required makeup, tuck some face wipes in your gym bag and get the gunk off pre workout.

I like to do double duty while at the gym. Meaning I will slather on some deep conditioner in my hair and braid it. That way, when I shower after the gym, I will not only have toned glutes, but also luscious locks. Smarter than I look, people.

Here are some examples of cute gym gear. Just cause you’re working out doesn’t mean you can’t work it:

VSX Body Wick seamleass sports bra, $22

C9 by Champion racerback tank, $14.99

Bye Bye Lines (The ladies who brought you Kamelflage and Cammel Ammo) Leggings, $38

Reebok Easytone Trend, $109.99

lululemon Sway jacket, $128

So hit the gym and get that heart rate up. Summer and short shorts are just around the corner. And fellas, cut a girl a break. PLEASE, don’t try and talk to us while we are mid stride. We’re actually trying to get in shape. You can chat us up over a smoothie later.

xx,

WhyDid

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Oh Pam…  It’s hard for me to do this, but…

You are no longer the young C.J. Parker of your Baywatch glory days.  Though I must say, you have hung in there pretty well.  There is really not much wrong with the actual outfit itself, it’s just the execution.  The dress is a nice color and your shoes are fantastic.  However, stretch charmeuse is difficult for even the tiniest of women to pull off without weird bumps and lines.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with the term, FUPA, but that is what this is.  Might I introduce you to Spanx?  Listen, no one can rock a one piece the way Pam used to, but sometimes we need to come to terms with getting older and needing to wear shaping undergarments.  No shame in that.

I’m sure it is difficult for a beautiful woman once known as a sex symbol to age, but I sincerely hope that Pam starts to tone it down and age gracefully.  Not going to hold my breath, but it’s a nice thought.

xx,

WhyDid

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