So, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym lately (you try watching yourself getting spray tanned in a bikini and tell me how you feel) and I have made quite a few startling observations. One being that most people look really funny running on the treadmill. Another being that people wear incredibly bizarre things to work out.

The other day, I spotted some serious cougars wearing cleavage baring tank tops and walking on the treadmills. I mean, this is not a bar or a pick up joint, ladies. I’m here to get my cardio on. That would require me strapping my two best girls down as to not look like a Baywatch re-run. Sports bras, not your push up bra, should always be worn. They help fight gravity and they will wick away the moisture (ladies don’t sweat, we glisten) rather than soak it up like the padding in your bra.

The gym is also where the thin line between appropriate and inappropriate legging wear is dangerously thin. I, myself, have been known to wear leggings to the gym (I KNOW!!). So what makes it okay and not okay? Well, they should basically ALWAYS be black. White is an absolute NO. You can see every dimple of cellulite. Heather grey will show every speck of sweat… er, glisten. So just stick with the tried and true. Now let’s address that cameltoe.  It’s basically inevitable, but luckily, my girls at Bye Bye Lines have created all types of things (panties, liners, and pants) to fight that frontal wedgie. Crisis averted.

I’m also baffled by the girls who come with a full face of make up to the gym. Go ahead and add this to my list of pet peeves. I mean, I get that some people are coming from work and may have a little bit on, but full on photoshoot style makeup?  I hope they realize that this is TERRIBLE for your skin! All that sweat and makeup is adult acne waiting to happen! Let your skin breathe! If you are coming from work or somewhere that required makeup, tuck some face wipes in your gym bag and get the gunk off pre workout.

I like to do double duty while at the gym. Meaning I will slather on some deep conditioner in my hair and braid it. That way, when I shower after the gym, I will not only have toned glutes, but also luscious locks. Smarter than I look, people.

Here are some examples of cute gym gear. Just cause you’re working out doesn’t mean you can’t work it:

V294758VSX Body Wick seamleass sports bra, $22

41iiiRRgOBL._AA260_C9 by Champion racerback tank, $14.99

image007Bye Bye Lines (The ladies who brought you Kamelflage and Cammel Ammo) Leggings, $38


Reebok Easytone Trend, $109.99

LW4652S_heathered_athletica_gr_llululemon Sway jacket, $128

So hit the gym and get that heart rate up. Summer and short shorts are just around the corner. And fellas, cut a girl a break. PLEASE, don’t try and talk to us while we are mid stride. We’re actually trying to get in shape. You can chat us up over a smoothie later.