Why Did You Eat That: No Bitchin’ in My Kitchen

By |January 23rd, 2012|Why Did You Eat That?|

vintage housewife

Okay, so I’m no Martha Stewart, but I do know how to keep a happy and functional home.  I also do enjoy baking and cooking (baking more than cooking).  There is also something to be said about a woman who can cook and look good while she does so.  I know we think it’s hilarious that Carrie Bradshaw used her oven to store sweaters, but today’s “modern girl” can do it all… and that includes whipping up a gourmet meal.

You don’t need every fancy appliance under the sun to make your kitchen run more smoothly, but there are a few gadgets that may very well change your life (or at least make you more efficient when it comes to the kitchen).

  1. Crock Pot 5 Quart Stainless Steel Slow Cooker, $41 – A crock pot is the lazy girl’s dream appliance.  Basically you could throw just about anything in in the morning and come home to a delicious meal.  It does the work for you and do you know how many amazing recipes there are?
  2. As Seen On TV, Eggies, $9.99 – Okay, I must admit I fell for something I saw on TV.  Hey, at least it’s not Pajama Jeans.  These will blow your mind if you enjoy hard boiled eggs, deviled eggs, or egg salad.
  3. KitchenAid Apple Wedger, $10.29 – I love apples, but I hate biting into them (creeps me out) and I find cutting them can be cumbersome (Okay, fine.  I can’t be trusted with sharp objects).  This little guy slices and apple right up in one swift move.  No more excuses when it comes to making yourself a healthy snack.
  4. Wusthof Kitchen Shears, $19.99 – My mom scolded me for years for not having a “proper” pair of kitchen shears.  Theses babies can do everything from cut meat to trim flower stems.
  5. Rabbit by Metrokane Zippity Rabbit Wine Opener, $79.99 – Alright, alright… the kitchen doesn’t have to be all business.  This wine opener is the best thing going.  When you have company, there’s nothing worse than fighting with a rogue cork.  The rabbit (not that rabbit) will have you in and out in no time. [insert dirty joke here].

A functional kitchen is a happy kitchen.



Why Did You Wear That: Since You Obviously Missed the Memo

By |December 29th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

So, in the last two days, I have received SEVERAL inquiries as to why I have not yet discussed the latest heinous “As Seen On TV” product… Pajama Jeans.  Well, the fact of the matter is, my friends, I covered this. Let’s take a moment to revisit the post here.

That’s right. Almost a year ago, I saw these satanic excuses for pants on TV and had hoped they would just: Go. Away.  It seemed they did for awhile, but as of late I’m beginning to think that Pajama Jeans received a second round of Pajama Jean financing and amped up their marketing efforts.  Now, every fifteen minutes, there is a commercial for these walking fire hazards. I really don’t have it in me to “expand” on this topic. Just don’t let me catch you wearing them. I will be forced to find the closest sharp object and impale your heart with it.

So, don’t worry. I’m aware of the situation. I’m just going to continue pretending it isn’t there in hopes that it will just Go. Away.



Why Did Wisdom: I Don’t Need This

By |August 21st, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|


We are constantly bombarded with things we don’t need. People are making millions and millions of dollars inventing items that we never knew we wanted until they put together an informercial and we were awake way too late one night. Now we have a closet full of As Seen On TV products.

Well, here are few more that you’re definitely going to want. Enjoy.

There is something concerning about the fact that this item seems to be targeted solely at big breasted women and children. How is it that you plan on explaining to your child what exactly is meant by “Tiddy”? Let me know how that conversation goes. And really, who is driving that aggressively that their seatbelt is causing such severe pain? Perhaps enrolling in driving school would be more helpful?

I mean, I don’t even know what to say about this. I felt uncomfortable even watching. This makes the Shake Weight seem tame. Please, if you DO buy this, send me the footage of your co-workers’ reactions as you girate beneath your desk. Thank you.

I think my favorite part of this one is when they go ahead and call in the 800lb grizzly bear. (They also make a note not to “try this at home.” Right… cause we all have access to grizzly bears). I mean, I know there are some sneaky people in offices who steal your food even after you’ve bedazzled your tupperware with your initials, but COME ON.

Happy Saturday.