Nov
24
2014
0


Red Carpet Recap: American Snooze-ic Awards

fergie jlo iggy azalea american music awardsOh, sorry.  I just woke up.  I can only assume that my deep slumber was induced around the same time I slammed my hand to my forehead upon One Direction taking the stage to accept the award for Artist of the Year.  Either that or I had too much wine.  Maybe both.  In any case last night was the 42nd annual American Music Awards held at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles and hosted by a basically blacked out and slurring Pitbull (Mr. Worldwide, if you will).  While I look back on the evening, I can’t actually tell you who won or gush over any particular performance (except maybe Lorde’s), but there are a few key things I did deduce from the evening.  If you do not already own a leotard, get one.  Without a nary Beyonce, Miley, or Katy in the auditorium, there was no lack of spandex to be seen.  Also, J. Lo and Fergie made the message clear that the old guard hasn’t gone anywhere and a Pilates class sure doesn’t hurt.

As far as the red carpet, there were about fifteen “celebrities” who actually walked it, leaving my options for best, worst, and WTF very limited.  Black was the overall favorite for the evening and the ladies who donned the official color of New York, looked sleek, stunning, and sophisticated whether in long gowns or short shifts.  The skin showing of choice last night was most certainly the legs with sky high slits as well as micro minis.  Green, coral, a bit of navy, and peachy flesh tone were the favored hues worn by songstresses.  Rita Ora was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was the only one wearing a skin flattering yellow frock.

The favored hairstyle for the evening was soft tousled waves more often than not in buttery blonde.  Manicures were more like claws with long pointed tips not to be outdone by fingers covered in elaborate rings on multiple fingers.  Statement clutches and sky high heels finished off the ladies’ looks.

And we can’t forget the fellas.  Wyclef Jean and Imagine Dragons channeled their rocker style in tailored tees and leather, while Aloe Blacc spelled it out for us.  Nick Jonas’ suit made me feel even more awkward than his crotch grabbing Flaunt Magazine spread.  I quipped that I hoped 5 Seconds of Summer were also five seconds from a shower.  Magic looked like lost tourists who had wandered onto the red carpet after a tour of Hollywood Boulevard (rude!) and Sam Smith seemed to have forgotten his socks.

I wonder if Pitbull’s hangover is as bad as mine.

All But Basic Black:

american music awards red carpet black dressesCharlie XCX in Vivienne Westwood, Selena Gomez in Giorgio Armani, Fergie in Halston

jenny mccarthy amas red carpetMary J. Blige, Christina Milian, Jenny McCarthy in Cushnie et Ochs

 Little Babe Dress:

nicki minaj american music awards Nicki Minaj in Alexander Wang, Meghan Trainor in Ted Baker, Lauren Cohan in Blumarine

 Golden Coral:

jhene aiko american music awardsElizabeth Banks in Peter Pilotto, Julianne Hough in Zuhair Murad, Jhené Aiko in Alice + Olivia

 Flesh Take:

jennifer lopez red carpet american music awardsJennifer Lopez in Reem Acra, Selena Gomez, Morgan Stewart

Leggy Ladies:

kendall kylie jenner american music awardsKendall Jenner, Heidi Klum in Versace, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier

Micro Trend:

becky g american music awardsBecky G, Lele Pons, Noah Cyrus

All That Glitters:

jordin sparks red carpet american music awardsJordin Sparks in Halston, Olivia Munn in Lanvin, Zendaya

Whatever Suits You:

iggy azalea american music awardsJessie J, Iggy Azalea, Gigi Hadid in Prabal Gurung

Ill Suited:

jonas neyo american music awardsNe-Yo in Anthony Franco, Ansel Elgort in Kent and Curwen, Nick Jonas in Armani

Male Order Babes:

imagine dragon american music awardsWyclef Jean, Imagine Dragons

 Leading Ladies ( DaBest):

taylor swift rita ora american music awardsKate Beckinsdale in Kaufman Franco, Rita Ora in Zac Posen, Taylor Swift in Michael Kors

Led Astray (Dafuq?):

worst dressed red carpet amaBleona Qereti, Frankie J. Grande, Diana Ross

xx,

WhyDid

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Nov
25
2013
1


Why Did You Wear That: Trapped in the Closet, or At Least I Wish I Was…

american-music-awards-red-carpetMayra Veronica, Marc Anthony, Keltie McKnight, R. Kelly

Award shows always manage to leave me scratching my head and trying to figure out just how much wine I ingested in the last two hours.  It’s as if celebrities save up all their crazy for these star studded events and then unleash it on their adoring fans.  Fortunately for us, it’s all caught on film to be watched time and again for days to follow.  These evenings provide news sources plenty of ammunition and the platform to play things out and beat a dead horse.

Speaking of which… The only thing weirder than Lady Gaga’s arrival on a wind up horse, was her awkward performance with president R. Kelly who probably should have stayed trapped in the closet.  I didn’t have too long to wonder what the real purpose of this horse was or whether Ke$ha and Gaga are actually morphing into the same person, because moments later I thought I spotted a red carpet crasher, but it was just Marc Anthony who looked as though he’d been halfway through his Sunday stack at The Griddle when he realized, “Shit, that award show is tonight.”  His former better half, Jennifer Lopez, more than made up for his failworthy flannel with a high energy tribute to Celia Cruz.  It wasn’t all cringeworthy though.  Watching Rihanna accept the Icon Award from her mother even made me tear up and Christina Aguilera’s soft vocals during her performance with A Great Big World had me fall in love with her all over again.  Just when I started to think that maybe this award show was bringing back a little bit of class to the music world, Miley showed up in a cat covered two piece leotard and I had a hard time deciding which cat to look at because the one lip synching behind her kind of stole the show.

But alas, what we (at least I) bother watching award shows for… the fashion.  If you weren’t wearing white, you were wearing black- or a combo of the two.  This, of course, makes me happy because my second favorite “color” behind black is white.  If you weren’t wearing one of my two favorite shades, you were wearing metallics or heating things up in fiery reds and oranges.  To be clear, just because I post it below doesn’t mean I like it.  It just means it happened and I firmly believe in being informed.  Rihanna, Nicole Richie, Ciara, and a very Kardashian-esque Naya Rivera were a few of my favorites, while most of the others left plenty of room for improvement.

Great White:

miley cyrus amasNicole Richie in Emilio Pucci, Christina Aguilera in Maria Lucia Hohan, Miley Cyrus in Versus Versace, Zendaya in Donna Karan

Bad Bitches are the New Black:

rihanna-naya-rivera-american-music-awardsNaya Rivera in Michael Kors, Rihanna in Jean Paul Gaultier, Jamie Alexander, Ke$ha in Michael Costello

heidi-klum-ciara-american-music-awardsHeidi Klum in Marchesa, Ciara in J. Mendel, Jordin Sparks in Jovani Couture, Katy Perry in Oscar de la Renta

Black and White and Chic All Over:

kylie-kendall-jenner-zoe-saldana-american-music-awardsDaisy Fuentes, Zoe Saldana in Roland Mouret, Kendall Jenner & Kylie Jenner

Bright Like Diamonds:

emma-roberts-taylor-swift-american-music-awardsEmma Roberts in Lanvin, Taylor Swift in Julien Macdonald, Kelly Osbourne Rami Al Ali, Giuliana Rancic

Girls on Fire:

ariana-grande-jennifer-hudson-american-music-awardsAriana Grande in Dolce & Gabbana, Aubrey O’Day, Rocsi Diaz, Jennifer Hudson in Dior

xx,

WhyDid

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Nov
19
2012
0


Why Did You Wear That: Let’s Make Beautiful Music Together

american music awards red carpetAnother year, another round of award shows doling out little metal trophies to folks who may or may not deserve them. But the fun is not in who wins what as much as it is in who wears what.  So, let the self tanner application, lapses in style judgement, and wardrobe malfunctions begin and let’s kick things off with last night’s American Music Awards.

While it’s been a while since I’ve tuned in, some things remain exactly as they did a year ago… and beyond.  These include but are not limited to:

  • They’re still letting Chris Brown perform.  Why they even let him out of his cage, I’ll never know, but this white girl won’t be dancing like it’s her birthday when his songs come on.  Ever.
  • Jenny McCarthy is still hot.
  • You still can’t touch MC Hammer.
  • Christina Aguilera still wears leotards when she probably shouldn’t (but she can still sing like nobody’s business, so we’ll give her a pass).
  • Pitbull is still making songs that don’t make any logical sense in English or Spanish.
  • Crowding the stage with babes in bedazzled bustiers will still cover up any bad performance.
  • Taylor Swift is still singing about some boy who did her wrong in something that resembles a bad prom dress.
  • Nicki Minaj is still in need of a time out.
  • Pink could still kick your ass.
  • No Doubt is still as rad as ever.

And while it’s nice to have a bit of stability in your life, I’m a little concerned about America’s choices in music.  Perhaps that’s a better indicator of the state of our nation?  One thing that does seem to be changing is Justin Bieber’s voice (anyone else catch that?) which was quite clear after hearing him dedicate his win to the “haters” (he realizes he’s an eighteen year old 98lb white kid, right?).  So, I decided I was going to come up with my own award categories that seem much, much more important:

Best Legs:

heidi klum stacy kiebler taylor swift ama

Color of the Evening:

carly rae jepsen kesha ginnifer goodwin ama

 Most in Need of a New Hairstyle:

nicki minaj carrie underwood karmin hair amaSo, let’s step it up, folks.  We’ll consider this a “warm up.”  A “rehearsal” if you will.  Last time I checked, which was just now, my socks are still on, so no one particularly blew me away.  Bring on the crazy… I’ve gotta have something to write about.

xx,

WhyDid

 

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Nov
21
2011
0


Monday Mashup: All That Glitters…

Hey Nicki?  Johnny 5 called… he wants his look back.  I should have figured the opening performance would set the tone for this year’s American Music Awards.  The tone being one big hot shiny mess.  I should have changed the channel… I should have looked away, but alas, I could not.  I’ve had about enough of Nicki’s wacky get ups. I’m on team Johnny 5.  What about you?

The AMA’s weren’t all bad though.  Here are five lovely ladies sporting what was most certainly the trend of the evening- metallics.  Sadly, this is about where the “good” ends and the eye gouging begins.

Watching the AMA’s only confirmed the fact that I might need to relocate to a tropical island– or at least place where it takes a lot more talent and several fewer sparkly bra tops to get ahead.

Exhibits A, B, and B 1/2.  It pains me to see Christina Aguilera look like… well, that.  What happened to that little Genie in a Bottle of yore?  It also pains me to see the mother of two wearing a sequin covered costume that may or may not have belonged to Britney Spears circa 1999.  Those jewel encrusted bra cups have got to be a breast feeding safety hazard.  Am I right?  Let’s not even get into the incestuousness of Pitbull’s pelvic grinding performance with J. Lo followed up by another performance with her ex-hubby Marc Anthony and sequin braziered fly girls.  Ew. And as for Adam Lambert, well, I really just wanted to throw him in so I could coin his new nickname, “Glambert.”  You’re welcome.

Let’s get it together, America.  We’re better than this.  All that glitters is not gold.

xx,

WhyDid

P.S. Ending the show with Hasselhoff in his manties? Classy touch.

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Nov
22
2010
2


Monday Mashup: Battle of the Blondes
Written by: WhyDid | Monday Mashup

So, I was scrolling through photos from last night’s red carpet arrivals for the American Music Awards and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the stunning Taylor Swift. She traded in her trademark ringlets for a very sleek, very sexy blowout with thick bangs (I’m calling a trend here, folks!). I felt like just giving up after seeing her. She’s so beautiful that she could have just as easily been a model. Sigh…

After I recovered, I continued perusing the photos from last night and stopped yet again, when I saw the lovely Avril Lavigne. I’m not sure what this little lady’s been up to lately other than some tabloid snippets here and there about her dating Brody Jenner, but homegirl looks great! The craziest part is that she eerily resembles Miss Swift. I don’t know whether Avril should be flattered or Taylor should be insulted. Or maybe they should just smack five and model walk away. I can’t decide. Life’s hard.

I get that Taylor has a solid 8 inches of height on Avril, but come on, tell me the resemblance isn’t a little crazy. Both are gorgeous blondes with perfect porcelain skin… not to mention they are both embracing some serious graphic design with their dresses.

xx,

WhyDid

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