WhyDid’s Words: Little Deaths

By |February 14th, 2017|Uncategorized|

yellow tulips Personal Journal Entry, 5/14/16

The flowers on my dresser facing my bed, my morning view, were dead this morning.  what a sad, sad, true life analogy.

Two days ago, you were here with me and there was a moment I felt like I wanted to blurt out, “I love you.”  Crazy as I don’t really know you and it hasn’t been all that long.  But the way you made me feel was undeniable.  Something I haven’t felt in quite some time– if ever.  There were times I thought I could go on kissing you forever and even that might not be long enough.

From the moment we met, it was that way.  Ironically, you were the first to point it out.

When I was with anyone else, I felt guilty.  When I was with you, I didn’t feel guilty about anyone else.  That’s how I knew.  That’s when I pulled all of the irons out of the fire.  I felt loyalty to you, though you’d never pledged yours to me.

I almost cried this morning when I tossed the yellow tulips in the trash.  It somehow felt symbolic.  It was also was a cruel reminder that even the most beautiful things are fated to shrivel up and die.  How can something so lovely be so temporary?  I suppose that’s why one should never grow too attached to things that could be so fleeting.

My mom used to tell my father not to buy her flowers.  She hated when they died.  And yet, I love nothing more than a room full of flowers.  So much so, that I’ve never bothered to wait for someone to buy them for me.  They are my little luxury.

I knew that day you were going to bring me flowers and I have no idea why.  And there you were; handsome and tall, standing at my door, patting the dog with one hand, tissue paper wrapped bouquet in the other.

Those yellow tulips lasted longer than the white roses I’d bought myself the very same day.  “A sign!” I’d thought.  And then something changed.  A shift imperceptible to most, like the temperature dropping a degree only noticeable to the mercury of a thermometer.

I should have ignored it.  Kept my mouth shut, but that’s not something this sensitive soul has ever been good at.  My intuition has never steered my wrong, but my big mouth has.

And then they were dead.  And you were gone.

I’ll buy myself new flowers next week.  Some to refill the empty vase, the empty space.

You’ll show up at another door with flowers soon.  A new vase to fill.


WhyDid’s Week, February 12

By |February 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|

whydid kirsten smith

Lost phones
Broken hearts
False promises
New starts
Love promised
Heartbreak delivered
Soft gazes
Bodies shivered
I loved you
You disappeared
Held my ground
Mascara smeared

Where Are You?: All I Need Is You

By |February 9th, 2017|Uncategorized|

unnamed (6)All I need is you and some sunsets…

If you asked my favorite color, I couldn’t tell you.  Just like I couldn’t tell you the name of my favorite book, my favorite movie, or the best album of all time.

To choose means to shun all others.  And there are some days my heart loves blue as much as it does red and when I only want to watch something silly instead of complex or can only stomach the sound of Etta James.

But with sunsets, just like you, I never grow bored.  You see, the sky is constantly changing.  Never forcing me to commit to just one color, but instead inspiring me and aweing me with its magnificence and ability to always keep me guessing.


What in the Actual F*ck: A Rose by Any Other Name

By |February 9th, 2017|Beauty & Trends|

kirsten smith blush color roses

“Sorry, I was just arranging some flowers.”

She laughs, “You were what?”

“Arranging flowers.  I get fresh ones every week.  The last ones just died.”

“You’re a trip.  What did you get?”

“Some roses.  There’s a deli on 6th Avenue that always has the most beautiful colors.  I just pick the ones that speak to me.  This week it was ballet pink.  They’re perfect.  You’d think that this weekly death would help me cope with my attachment issues.  My parents told me I never cried when my pets died when I was little.  It’s a wonder now that my heart shatters over even the shortest tryst.”

“That’s a very morbid story.”

“I think I just had more faith before the world convinced me not to.”

kirsten catherwood smith whydid

Health Benefits of Rose:

  • Anti-inflammatory
  • Moisturizing
  • Antioxidants
  • Naturally Fragrant
  • Antibacterial
  • Toning

kirsten smith whydid

Setting the Mood: Make me Blush

By |February 8th, 2017|Setting the Mood|

blush color palette

I looked up and was startled to realize the gaze I’d felt on me was, in fact, real.  Mostly, I just feel a little self conscious without any reason.  Just another face in a sea of people going about their mundane duties in a busy city.  How silly to think anyone is paying even an ounce of attention to what I’m doing.  The ego is a hungry animal.

But there it was.  The gaze that caused me to spill the last bit of my coffee as I recollected myself in front of my computer, which was really only serving as a prop at this point in the late winter afternoon.  Our eyes met and I quickly looked back down at the brown ring now taking over the cover of my copy of Diaries.  I dabbed at it with a napkin, but decided it gave the book a bit more character.  I remained frozen, terrified to meet his big brown eyes again.

When I’d composed myself and collected enough courage to look up again, he was gone.  The only thing left behind was the flush on my cheeks.

blush wall color



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