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WhyDid Wisdom: Grasping At Straws

By |January 13th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|
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While I tried to sleep last night with a dog curled around my left foot and a cat purring like a diesel engine in my right ear, I wasn’t particularly thrilled to wake up to a talking cat on TV this morning. That’s right, Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch was my wakeup call.  Seeing as our family zoo partied all night, I was far too tired to bother changing the channel before opening my laptop and sipping on my morning beverage. So, when the credits rolled for Sabrina, I still didn’t bother changing the channel.  I was too immersed in Twitter updates and Google Analytics to exert the extra effort.

Then something caught my ears:

“Everything you’re chasing is worth nothing.”

Some creepy spiritual infomercial was on, but this gentleman put into words something I have thought to myself many times.  Right before I moved to Los Angeles, I think I was guilty of this very same thing.  For so long, I had been putting emphasis on all the wrong things.  Things that just did not and should not matter.

I am no longer 22, bright eyed and naive, so why in the world would I still be chasing the same things?  The novelty of nightclubs and i-bankers and “celebrities” should wear off after a while, shouldn’t it?  When does one realize that  he or she is not a celebrity and is most likely not going to be receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame any time soon?  Why on earth are so many people still grasping at straws and trying to “live the dream”?

Our culture has somehow tricked itself into thinking that we are all a whole lot more important than we really are.  With reality shows focusing on just about every topic under the sun and “stars” who are famous for adding nothing of value to humanity (talking to you Kardashians and Hilton), we all are under the impression that fame and fortune is just within reach.

The sad truth is that most people will never reach fame or fortune but will certainly exhaust themselves trying.  Racking up credit card debt to buy “things” that make them feel good temporarily and to be “seen” at places that will make them feel “cool” in that moment.  At the end of the day, none of this garbage matters.  It’s all just white noise.

The things that matter are much simpler.  Meaningful relationships, family, health, and kindess are just a few to start.  Unfortunately, for some, they may not even realize what’s important until it is too late. And alas, they’ll be the last one in the nightclub with cranberry stains on their clothes and the janitors mopping the floor. Alone.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Sloth Prevention 101

By |January 11th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|
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When you work in a creative field, at times you can feel completely sucked dry without an ounce of creativity to spare. It isn’t a job where you see immediate results like sales figures or dolla dolla bills ya’ll, so it is easy to get discouraged.  Creativity comes from a personal place and demands you to constantly put a piece of yourself out there.  At times, it can be completely and utterly exhausting. When I get to that point, it is very very easy for me to want to “sloth.”  However, we all know that slothing is not a healthy place to be.

So, this is as much for me as it is for you:

  • Get Up! There is nothing I love more than lounging in bed all day with my computer.  I mean, who doesn’t want to be able to “work” from bed? Well, beds = slothing. Plus, it’s pretty easy to get caught in a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon (not that I would know or anything). By getting up and making some coffee or tea and opening the blinds for some natural light, you will already be gearing up for a great day.
  • Get Out! Being out in the world will often times trigger something in that pretty little head of yours. Inspiration often strikes you when you least expect it.  Be sure to bring a note pad or better yet, send yourself a text!
  • Read something. (and I do not mean The Superficial or Perez).  Read a book. By reading someone else’s great work, you will most certainly feel inspired to create your own masterpiece. BTW, totes nothing wrong with reading gossip blogs… guilty pleasure and great source of fugly celeb outfits.
  • Disconnect. By being constantly inundated with texts, BBM’s, IM’s,Facebook, Twitter, and on and on…. it’s really easy to get distracted. As Rachel Zoe might say, “Shut. It. Down.”
  • Gimme a break. I know that many of us have “deadlines” but when you try and force a square peg into a round hole… well, you know the outcome.  Take a little break and work on something else.  When you come back to your project, you’ll have a fresh perspective.

With that said, I’m closing my Mac and going to sip on some coffee before taking a run.  When I return, expect something rivaling that of the Sistine Chapel… or at least another post.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him?: Attached at the Hip

By |December 31st, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?|
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Recently, I’ve seen a lot of shows including “man caves”, girls’ nights out, and fellas griping about the old “ball and chain.”  (This may or may not have something to do with the continuous loop of HGTV shows we’ve been watching). I’m a bit put off by all three of the former terms.  First and foremost, I need to understand a man cave. What is it that goes on inside of said “man cave” that must happen within those confines?  Why can’t these goings on take place in, say, the living room?

Also, I enjoy a cocktail with the girls as much as the next woman, but I never feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get away from my man and have a cosmo in my hand in the next five minutes.  I don’t need to spend the next three drunken hours discussing the very same men that we were itching so hard to get away from. I can’t imagine dating, let alone being married to someone who I didn’t genuinely enjoy being around.

My man friend and I are starting to become the real life  Alex and Simon from The Housewives of New York City, except about 450,000 times less creepy and I’m 157% certain my love is not playing for the other team.  Since we started dating, we haven’t ever slept a night apart. Basically, I came to visit him and just never bothered to leave. Some may think that is strange, but there is quite honestly no one else I’d rather spend my time with (except for Smitty).  Being around him is like being with myself.  A good friend of mine once told me that when you are with the “right” person, it’s like being all by yourself.  No, she didn’t mean you are sitting there talking to a brick wall.  What she meant was that there are no airs. There are no expectations.  You are being fully and completely yourself. There’s no show and you don’t have to be on your best behavior until the credits roll.

Granted, he does go to work Monday through Friday, so we are apart (albeit we talk on iChat all day…). I just want to be around him because we are always having fun and it’s always easy.  Now, let’s go ahead and take a step back.  There is something to be wary of here.  Wanting to be with someone for the former reason is a great thing in my book.  However, if you have ulterior motives for wanting to be with someone or if the feelings are not mutual, you may be in for some trouble.

With an ex, the reason I wanted to be by his side at all times was because I knew the moment I was out of sight, he would be trying to bag the next pretty young thing who walked through the door.  I was constantly on edge and I knew in my heart of hearts that when he was on “business trips” or boys’ trips (that’s a WHOLE other topic, mind you), it was fairly (read: very) likely that I was not the last voice he’d be hearing before bed. My reasons for wanting all of his time and attention were not out of genuine love and desire.  They were out of fear. Now that’s just not healthy. Whether or not my feelings were validated, I was miserable and that’s no way to live.

Though you may want to spend every waking moment and very last breath with your boo, be sure to make certain that these feelings are shared.  It should be pretty obvious if they are.  You won’t have to ask or beg or fight or trick or threaten about it. It will just “be.”

So if your man is acting more like a neanderthal down in his “special place” and you’re out with the girls drinking to forget that he’s ignoring you in his cave, then maybe its time to reevaluate and perhaps roll a boulder in front of the opening to his man cave. Just a thought.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Own It, Guuuuuuuuurrrrl.

By |December 16th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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The other day, someone asked me how old Ke$ha is and I didn’t know. So, of course, I had to look it up (I hate not knowing). While I found out that Kesha Rose Sebert is a mere 24 years old, I also learned some other fun facts about her. Kesha was raised by a single mother who was just barely able to get by. Kesha’s upbringing was so meager that the family relied on welfare and foodstamps for a period of time.  As I kept reading Kesha’s Wikipedia entry, I became more and more intrigued by her. I hadn’t really felt one way or the other about her until I realized that Kesha is not only smarter than she lets on, but she owns who she is and where she came from.  She’s strange, vulgar, and a little bit off her rocker, but all of those things make her who she is.

This, of course, got me to thinking.  Not many people are very comfortable with who they are.  It seems now that our culture is obsessed with being “fabulous” and keeping up the “right” appearance.  Our generation has racked up billions in credit card debt trying to “pop bottles” and wear the right shoes, right bags, right jeans. We want to drive the right cares and live in the right zip code. I just have one question: who’s to say what’s “right”?

Thanks to reality shows and people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who are rich and famous for no good reason, people everywhere are just chasing the dream.  Heaven forbid you work hard to earn your living.  We are all pretending we’re on an episode of MTV Cribs or something.  Why can’t we just be happy with what we already have rather than maxing out the plastic trying to buy new identities? I have news for you. You aren’t Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills.

When people ask me where I’m from, I tell them Wheeling, West Virginia. Glamorous? No. But I am proud of it and it’s part of who I am. Believe it or not, most people (who realize that West Virginia is actually a state and not just the western part of Virginia- see diagram below) are intrigued and start asking lots of questions.

It took a while for me to learn to accept all of the things that society tells me aren’t ideal about myself.  I’m never going to look like Marisa Miller, I probably will never own my own jet, and not even autotune is going to land me a hit single.  My brother, who is an artist, once told me I had a good face for painting because it is “unique.”  Before I could smack him, he explained that people with perfectly symmetrical faces are less interesting and easily forgettable.  Why do you think the world was so outraged when Jennifer Grey got a nose job? Same thing with Ashley Tisdale. Sometimes, the things that are “wrong” with us are the things that people find most interesting and attractive.  Everyone is trying to so hard to be different, yet trying to fit in one mold.

If everyone was the same- looked the same, liked the same things, dressed the same, had the same beliefs, the world would be an incredibly mundane place. So, instead of trying to change all of your so called flaws, why  not embrace them? Own it, girl.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Deciphering the First Date

By |December 10th, 2010|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|
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The holidays are a great time to couple up with someone new. With all the parties and the cold weather, why wouldn’t you want someone to share it with and snuggle up to? Be wary though… it’s about quality not quantity. You can size up most guys by the type of first date they take you on. While some guys are looking for that special someone, others are simply looking for a little bit of booty (by that I mean alotta bit). Here’s a breakdown to help you break it down:

  • Coffee Date: This is a joke. I, myself, have never gone on a coffee date. Probably because if someone asked me on such a ridiculous date, I would immediately block his number. Someone who asks you on a coffee date is one of three things: cheap, a cheating boyfriend/husband, just not that into you.

  • Meet for Drinks: In New York, this is a pretty common date. Probably because the city is full of a bunch of alcoholics looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). This one can mean a few different things- He’s looking to get laid and plying you with alcohol is just the ticket. He’s meeting his girlfriend/wife for dinner. He’s not sure if he likes you yet and this is your interview. If he does, you may get the dinner invite after a couple glasses of pinot.

  • Dinner and a Movie: This is just boring and he’ll probably be bad in bed. (*Note: this only applies to the FIRST date).

  • “Group Date”: This is red alert, mayday, SOS shit. There is a much larger issue at hand if your date needs to have his posse with him. This isn’t an episode of The Bachelor and you’re not Vince from Entourage.

  • “Meet me Out”: This is not a date. Getting hammered on promoter’s vodka and grinding to Usher does not a date make. Period.

  • Romantic Dinner for Two: I don’t mean a stop at In N Out Burger. I mean pulling out all the stops- flowers, romance, picking you up, opening doors, chivalry. If he can commit to a quiet dinner, he can probably commit to a lot more.

  • Something Physical (and I don’t mean in between the sheets): Doing something physical and new is a great way for a new couple to bond. There is a reason they have people skydiving and tight rope walking on all those crazy dating shows. A guy who puts some thought into a date is worth keeping around for a second date.

Hopefully this will help you navigate the single’s scene. Dating is not easy- this I know. Another thing to keep in mind: Under no circumstance should a guy ask you out over text message, Twitter, or Facebook. If he can’t pick up the phone, I can’t be bothered. Happy hunting!

xx,

WhyDid

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