WhyDid Wisdom | WhyDid.com

Would You Wednesday: Take One for the Team

By Kirsten|May 25th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

A certain ample bottomed celebrity who will remain nameless (we have a zero tolerance policy here at WhyDid) recently announced her engagement to a 26 year old NBA basketball player. I hate to be a naysayer when it comes to love, but this marriage has about the same chance of surviving as a snow cone does in hell. Now, now… I know what you’re thinking: give the kids a chance. I would like to be proven wrong, but the cards are stacked against them.

I, myself, have dabbled in the “field” of professional athletes. While it was nothing serious, and my heart was left unscathed, I realize now how naive I had been back then. Seeing as I’m not an avid sports fan, when I’d met the gentleman I had no idea who he was, let alone his occupation (as a matter of fact I think he told me he was a DJ). All I knew was that he was good looking and I was 21 and single in the city. We lived far apart, so we didn’t see each other much. I’d be a fool to think there weren’t at least twenty more of me scattered around the states. But, alas, a fool I was. It was flattering and fun to tell my girlfriends, so I continued to play the game. I will never forget waiting downstairs for him after a game with the rest of the “wives” thinking A). how underdressed I was and B). how ridiculous it all was. After seeing the girls hanging around hotels and stadiums, and garnering nasty glares from girls when we were out, it made me realize that all of this was a lot less innocent than dating your average frat boy.

I’ve heard countless stories and seen with my own pretty eyes athletes behaving badly. (Perhaps even one such story involving the newly affianced). Ample amounts of money and cleavage make for a deadly combination. The odds are stacked against these athletes with groupies, gold diggers, away games, and schedules that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship. With 60-80% of marriages ending in divorce, NFL players are well above the national average (this statistic holds true for comparable sports). I’ll be the first to admit I’m crazy jealous, so I’m not sure how pro-athletes’ wives deal with all the temptation awaiting their handsome hubbies. Are the trips and shoes and status enough to make up for it?

Many couples have tried, but not many have been successful. Have you seen an episode of Basketball Wives? So, would you be willing to place a wager on such a dating gamble?

He shoots. He scores!

xx,

WhyDid

image via Baller Alert

Why Did You Date Him: Too Much. Too Soon.

By Kirsten|May 12th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?|

Have you ever met someone who came on so strong that it was off putting? Kind of like walking into an elevator that wreaks of cheap cologne? Makes you gag and want to exit immediately. But it’s too late. The doors have already closed. You’re stuck on the ride… at least for a little bit.

At our core, we all want to feel accepted, so when someone embraces us immediately, it can have a very ego boosting effect. But be careful my beautiful beans…

Whether it’s a new friend or a new beau, opening up or offering up too much can be a big fat red flag. When people give you so much of themselves and their lives so early on, it can be interpreted in a few different ways (none of which are good):

Desperate
Insincere
Obsessive

I have dated guys who gave me the keys to their apartments in the first two weeks of courting. While in the moment it feels flattering and exciting, you’ve got to pump the brakes and ask yourself, is this too much too soon? Well, let’s just put it this way, I’m not dating any of said key slangin’ gentlemen. It’s fun to play house and it’s nice to feel wanted, but what on earth is the rush? One of the fellows who so kindly bestowed upon me the keys to his domicile turned out to be incredibly possessive and controlling. He wanted me to have his keys so he knew I would always be at his home. It was like a serrated metal GPS. Needless to say, those keys were deposited ever so kindly in a white envelope and returned to sender.

Guys aren’t the only ones who make unwanted advances in relationships. Girls can also come on all hot and heavy giving you the feeling of “kindred spirits.” These are the girls you need to watch out for. Most likely, they don’t have a ton of “real” friends. They have about 4 billion acquaintances though. While they are fun to share laughs over a cocktail with, be careful of the information you share. If your new gal pal wants to give a detailed outline of her befuddled past, let her. Just don’t get caught up in the fun and lose your head. All great relationships (platonic or romantic) take time and building of trust. Who knows? A month from now you may realize you don’t even like the person.

Now when I meet people who are overly clingy, I’m a bit wary. Not to say that I don’t like nice people. There’s a huge difference between being friendly and being “emotionally slutty.” I do not need to know your sexual past and we certainly don’t need to start naming our children within the first thirty minutes of meeting. My friendships and relationships are very sacred. I don’t let just anybody in and neither should you.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Secret Garden

By Kirsten|April 28th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

If someone had told me a year ago what my life would be like today, I would have laughed in his face.

My Wednesday nights a year ago consisted of me sashaying out of my West Village apartment (navigating those cobblestones in heels) over to SL or Avenue or the likes to meet my friends.

While I do miss shimmying to loud music while sipping on firelit bottles of champagne, staying in, making dinner, and working on the couch with my fiance also isn’t bad. Unfortunately, there’s no need for five inch heels or sequin minis, but they remain in my closet as memories, if nothing else.

When we found out we’d be moving out of a busy “city” to the suburbs, we were a bit hesitant. Neither of us had lived outside of a major city for years. Now, my dad (the civil engineer) will point out that I don’t actually live in the suburbs, but rather an “urban sprawl.” Either way, it’s a definite change of pace. Rather than streets lined with boutiques and restaurants, our streets are stretches of strip malls as far as the eye can see.

It’s not all bad though. Rather than being bored out of my mind like I’d imagined, I’ve actually found that I spend far less time watching TV and surfing the web. I spent a few weekends lacquering the garden table and chairs set and found the hobby quite productive. Some of that can be accredited to a new job and my desire to create the perfect “nest.” The other part is in thanks to my newfound hobby. That’s right. I got a hobby. Gardening.

When we looked at our house, I knew I wanted to live there because it is A). awesome and B). surrounded by amazing gardens. Every single room in the house opens up to flowers and greens. It’s my own little “Secret Garden.” So, I quickly found that I enjoyed being outside and gardening. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, even to me. I thought it had to do with watching too many re-runs of Golden Girls, but my mom attributes it to my English blood. The only “secret garden” I had known until now was the Soho House rooftop.

But alas, this is a great and very therapeutic hobby. If I feel like picking at something or letting off a little steam, rather than bother my fiance or the dog, I just head outside and rip out some weeds. Now, before you get all gung-ho and head out to the yard, here’s a few things you should know:

Here’s rule number one. If you don’t like bugs (like abhor them) you will not like gardening. There’s a lot of dirt and a lot of bugs (and worms). No getting around that. Sorry.
Your nails and gardening do not really go together. If you value your fingernails more than your flowerbeds, quit now. Even with those gloves, the earth will wreak havoc on your perfectly polished fingers.
Do a little research. Figure out what grows in your climate. Either ask someone at the flower/plant store or just read the handy little tags on the plants. They will tell you everything you need to know.
Your significant other will support your hobby more if you plant things that produce useful bi-products, ie., fruit, vegetables, mint (for mojitos, obviously).
Wear sunscreen. You might not realize it, but you are getting beaten down on by UV rays. I can speak from experience. I have a sweet tank top tan/burn line. So hot.

Now let’s take a gander at one of the flower beds I’ve been working on:

Okay, yes, I understand you were expecting an HGTV Yard Crashers type of reveal, but let’s talk again in a couple of months and after a few gallons of Miracle Grow. I have planted my mom’s favorite flowers (Impatients), some African Daises, Heather, two species of bluberry plants (apparently they must be cross pollinated), a mini tangerine tree, and a cherry tree. Impressed? I can’t take all the credit though.

My faithful assistant had a paw (or four) in this.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Body Modification, Body Dysmorphia. Tomato, To-mah-to.

By Kirsten|April 14th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

Oh, why hello there. Sorry, suburbia has sucked me in like a black hole and as much as I’m sure you’ve enjoyed staring at my mug for the last two days, I’m back. With lots of content and lots to say. Speaking of faces- what the heck has Lady Gaga done to hers?

It appears Ms. Gaga has had some filler treatment done by contacting the best cosmetic surgeon for fillers in melbourne. While this is concerning to many (it’s actually hard for me to look at), she insists that it’s totally normal. In an interview with Harpers Bazaar, she explains that her “horns” have always been there and claims she was- you guessed it – born this way. It just so happens these puppies are just sprouting out now.

Also in the interview, Lady Gaga proclaimed she has never, nor would she ever, get plastic surgery, insisting that it promotes insecurity. Um? I don’t even know how to respond to that. While I appreciate Lady’s encouragement to young people who are trying to find themselves, I think it is hypocritical for almost anyone in Hollywood or show business to start pointing fingers or talking morals. When have you ever seen a photo of Gaga in a pair of sweats with a bare face and a ponytail? I get it. Her costumes, makeup, and theatrics are all a part of her “marketing” but isn’t hiding behind a facade kind of insecure? She is constantly playing a character. She is well spoken, but her answers are calculated. I hardly call that “being yourself.” She’s incredibly devoted to her fans, but wouldn’t showing them the “real” Gaga help them connect to her even more?

In regards to plastic surgery, I tend to agree it would be done by professinoal plastic surgeons. Too much snipping, tweaking, and tucking is never a good thing. However, this all goes back to the impossibly high beauty standards of the “celebrity.” Young girls everywhere see photos of perfectly retouched models, movies with women who make a living off of their looks, and pop stars who are manufactured to be practically perfect. How in the world could they ever live up to that? No one bothers to show them the behind the scenes footage or the raw photos.

Are any of us really “born this way” or are we all hiding behind some type of facade?

xx,

WhyDid

photo via Vancouver Sun

WhyDid Wisdom: Imitation: Flattery or Infringement?

By Kirsten|April 5th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

They say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” First of all, I’d like to know who “they” are. Probably people who like to copy. Also, I’m going to go ahead and beg to differ. Being copied (also known as being ripped off) is a lot of things, but flattering probably isn’t the first word that comes to mind when it’s happening to you. Frustrated, disappointed, disgusted, pissed. Those are the words that spring into my head.

Whether someone is copying the way you dress, the way you talk, your mannerisms, or quite literally copying your work, being copied is downright infuriating.

Last week, a link was sent to me from a friend. When I clicked on it, I was incredibly disheartened to see a post that was basically screen captured from the pages of WhyDid. This wasn’t the first time a situation like that has happened, but in this instance it was especially upsetting. Said individual was profiting financially by hijacking my work. Sadly, in the world of blogging, it is difficult to regulate this type of piracy. I’m not alone in this either. Emily from Cupcakes and Cashmere suffered from a similar situation last week as well and I get the inkling that there are dozens more of you who can relate. Luckily for us, there is a little something called “intellectual property” and there are lawyers out there who specialize in this category alone due to the ever expanding presence of the internet.

Every day, I work hard to create original content for my readers. Integrity and originality is something that truly matters to me and while it may be much more time consuming in many ways, at least I can sleep at night (after I’m done blogging, of course).

Rather than dwell on this tacky incident of copied creativity, I have decided to gather a few blogging guidelines and courtesies so that we all may blog and tweet and tumbl in a more peaceful world.

If you see something, say something. Blogging is just like writing book reports in grade school. Whenever you are quoting stats or information from another source or using someone else’s image, it is imperative to include a link back to the source of the information. There is so much great content out there and linking back to it is the perfect way to build a community and make friends (rather than enemies) in the blogosphere. I know I’m always grateful when people link back to me and I’m more likely to link back to them in the future.
Positive Feedback. Granted, from time to time we receive comments that are not exactly the kind of feedback that is appreciated (let alone warranted). Not approving malicious comments or personal attacks is one thing, but removing or not approving comments that question your stance on a particular topic or calling you out for misinformation is just cowardly. The reason you have a blog is because you (should) have an opinion. Stand behind it. (If you want to curb the type of comments your readers leave, put together a comment policy).
Full Disclosure. When blogging about something you love it is important to be clear as to whether you received a product or service gratis. Yes, there are actual FTC rules about this. Your readers look to you for tips, guidance, and suggestions. If you are simply writing or reviewing a product because you’re being paid for the plug, it’s mandatory to disclose that. There’s a big difference between blogging about something you love just because and singing its praises because you’re cashing in. Make the differentiation.
Do your homework. By doing careful reconnaissance work, checking your links, and sorting the facts, your blogs will be more credible and held in higher regard. The internet is full of smatterings of opinions and incorrect information. Don’t be part of that. Be a leader, not a follower.

The above are just the tip of the iceberg. If you’re interested in learning more, check out these ten rules for responsible blogging.

While, this time I was able to channel my anger into a positivity, the next time I see one of my carefully constructed posts on someone else’s blog, I’m not sure I’ll be able to be as mild mannered… especially since I know you’re reading this post…

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via Visual Photos

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