Oh sweet heaven above. Perhaps I’m just getting old, but I tuned into the MTV VMA pre-show because you know I love to blog about the oh so crazy fashion on the red carpet. However, after witnessing Justin Bieber arrive with a snake named “Johnson” followed by Nicki Minaj in another one of Lady Gaga’s rejected costumes, I couldn’t take much more. Then Katy Perry showed up with pink hair and Asian garb- complete with parasol- and I’d had enough. I needed to make a cocktail if I was going to attempt to sit through this shit storm. (Irene who?)

When I returned with a Bloody Mary, there was a very strange man performing “You And I.” Was I drunk on vodka fumes alone? Oh, it’s just Gaga.

You know who’s not drunk? Beyonce.


Now I’m gonna go finish my cocktail and if I have it in me will continue with red carpet commentary.