Nov
24
2014
0


Red Carpet Recap: American Snooze-ic Awards

fergie jlo iggy azalea american music awardsOh, sorry.  I just woke up.  I can only assume that my deep slumber was induced around the same time I slammed my hand to my forehead upon One Direction taking the stage to accept the award for Artist of the Year.  Either that or I had too much wine.  Maybe both.  In any case last night was the 42nd annual American Music Awards held at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles and hosted by a basically blacked out and slurring Pitbull (Mr. Worldwide, if you will).  While I look back on the evening, I can’t actually tell you who won or gush over any particular performance (except maybe Lorde’s), but there are a few key things I did deduce from the evening.  If you do not already own a leotard, get one.  Without a nary Beyonce, Miley, or Katy in the auditorium, there was no lack of spandex to be seen.  Also, J. Lo and Fergie made the message clear that the old guard hasn’t gone anywhere and a Pilates class sure doesn’t hurt.

As far as the red carpet, there were about fifteen “celebrities” who actually walked it, leaving my options for best, worst, and WTF very limited.  Black was the overall favorite for the evening and the ladies who donned the official color of New York, looked sleek, stunning, and sophisticated whether in long gowns or short shifts.  The skin showing of choice last night was most certainly the legs with sky high slits as well as micro minis.  Green, coral, a bit of navy, and peachy flesh tone were the favored hues worn by songstresses.  Rita Ora was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was the only one wearing a skin flattering yellow frock.

The favored hairstyle for the evening was soft tousled waves more often than not in buttery blonde.  Manicures were more like claws with long pointed tips not to be outdone by fingers covered in elaborate rings on multiple fingers.  Statement clutches and sky high heels finished off the ladies’ looks.

And we can’t forget the fellas.  Wyclef Jean and Imagine Dragons channeled their rocker style in tailored tees and leather, while Aloe Blacc spelled it out for us.  Nick Jonas’ suit made me feel even more awkward than his crotch grabbing Flaunt Magazine spread.  I quipped that I hoped 5 Seconds of Summer were also five seconds from a shower.  Magic looked like lost tourists who had wandered onto the red carpet after a tour of Hollywood Boulevard (rude!) and Sam Smith seemed to have forgotten his socks.

I wonder if Pitbull’s hangover is as bad as mine.

All But Basic Black:

american music awards red carpet black dressesCharlie XCX in Vivienne Westwood, Selena Gomez in Giorgio Armani, Fergie in Halston

jenny mccarthy amas red carpetMary J. Blige, Christina Milian, Jenny McCarthy in Cushnie et Ochs

 Little Babe Dress:

nicki minaj american music awards Nicki Minaj in Alexander Wang, Meghan Trainor in Ted Baker, Lauren Cohan in Blumarine

 Golden Coral:

jhene aiko american music awardsElizabeth Banks in Peter Pilotto, Julianne Hough in Zuhair Murad, Jhené Aiko in Alice + Olivia

 Flesh Take:

jennifer lopez red carpet american music awardsJennifer Lopez in Reem Acra, Selena Gomez, Morgan Stewart

Leggy Ladies:

kendall kylie jenner american music awardsKendall Jenner, Heidi Klum in Versace, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier

Micro Trend:

becky g american music awardsBecky G, Lele Pons, Noah Cyrus

All That Glitters:

jordin sparks red carpet american music awardsJordin Sparks in Halston, Olivia Munn in Lanvin, Zendaya

Whatever Suits You:

iggy azalea american music awardsJessie J, Iggy Azalea, Gigi Hadid in Prabal Gurung

Ill Suited:

jonas neyo american music awardsNe-Yo in Anthony Franco, Ansel Elgort in Kent and Curwen, Nick Jonas in Armani

Male Order Babes:

imagine dragon american music awardsWyclef Jean, Imagine Dragons

 Leading Ladies ( DaBest):

taylor swift rita ora american music awardsKate Beckinsdale in Kaufman Franco, Rita Ora in Zac Posen, Taylor Swift in Michael Kors

Led Astray (Dafuq?):

worst dressed red carpet amaBleona Qereti, Frankie J. Grande, Diana Ross

xx,

WhyDid

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Aug
25
2014
0


Red Carpet Recap: MTV BMA’s

mtv vmas miley cyrus jesse beyonce blue ivyLast night marked MTV’s 31st Annual Video Music Awards and also the fact that I’m way too old to be watching it.  My friends and I kept exchanging puzzled looks as one unrecognizable (to us) tween took to the red carpet after the next.  I had never been so excited to see Gwen Stefani or Jennifer Lopez as I was last night.  Phew!  Somebody we knew.  It became quite clear as to why E! has cornered the market on red carpet pre-shows.  As I quickly found myself on the brink of a melodramatic meltdown, I yelled at my TV,   “Sway, WHO ARE THEY WEARING?”  After having cooled my rage with a glass of prosecco, the actual show began.

Within seconds of the opening act, I was concerned that Nicki Minaj had somehow pirated the entire event as there was much more booty on stage than on any ship.  She became this year’s Miley while pirouetting her posterior to her current single, “Anaconda”, which left me hoping Sir Mix A Lot was somewhere wiping his own rear with all the royalty money he received from that song.  She then joined Jessie J. who forgot her pants and Ariana Grande who appears to have a perma hairstyle for their song, “Bang Bang” complete with wardrobe malfunction.  She later joined Usher for his song, aptly named, “She Came To Give It To You.”

Right around the time I’d given up on humanity and started Googling how to obtain an Australian work visa, Miley Cyrus shocked audiences again. This time, however, it had nothing to do with flagrant twerking or her wayward tongue. When she won the VMA for Video of the Year, instead of accepting the award herself, her handsome mystery date took the stage.  He identified himself as “Jesse” and proceeded to deliver a touching speech revealing that he, himself, had grown up homeless which was hard to imagine as he looked like far less homeless than the boys of Five Seconds to Summer in his well tailored suit.  He encouraged viewers to learn more about My Friend’s Place and to get involved by visiting and donating on Miley’s site.

But (with a capital “B”)  Queen B., herself, Beyonce, was not about to be outdone.  Bey performed for a solid fifteen minutes in a stunning jewel encrusted leotard before accepting the Video Vanguard Award from her husband, Jay-Z and the absolutely adorable Blue Ivy.  If all those divorce rumors do have any merit, she should have picked up an Oscar as well.

The other big “B” for last night had to be for Balmain as Jordan Dunn, Chanel Iman, Joan Smalls, and Kim Kardashian all wore the label.  Pro-tip: Do not show up to an awards show wearing the same thing as a supermodel.  While Katy Perry and her date, Riff Raff, gave a nostalgic nod to Britney and Justin, everyone’s favorite good girl wore a romper so short, she could have been a Minaj backup dancer.  Black was a red carpet favorite, but all renditions from sheer paneling to leather pants felt fresh and innovative rather than basic and boring.  Red, pink, and blue were the other colors that were most prevalent, mainly in jewel shades.  While everyone looked “nice,” I didn’t feel floored by anyone in particular… except for Amber Rose, that is.

Ban-Do:

miley cyrus jourdan dunn mtv vmaJourdan Dunn in Balmain, Miley Cyrus in Alexandre Vauthier

Anything but Basic Black:

kendall kylie jenner red carpet chanel imanKendall Jenner in Alon Livne, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier, Chanel Iman in Balmain

Power Couples:

ireland baldwin adam levine mtv vmaIreland Baldwin in Roberto Cavalli and Angel Haze in Helmut Lang, Adam Levine Behati Prinsloo

Sister, Sister:

beyonce vma red carpetBeyonce in Nicolas Jebran, Solange Knowles in H&M Studio

Fulfill Your Destiny:

mtv vma red carpetKelly Rowland in Kaufman Franco, Michelle Williams

Soft and Subtle:

mtv vma red carpetKesha in Johanna Johnson, Jessie J in vintage Halston

Silver Lining:

iggy azalea jennifer lopez red carpet vmaIggy Azalea in Versace, Jennifer Lopez in Charbel Zoe

Animal Instinct:

2014 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals Nicki Minaj, Charli XCX in Moschino

Red Alert:

mtv vmas rita ora demi lovato red carpetRita Orain Donna Karan Atelier, Demi Lovato in Lanvin

Double Trouble:

kim kardashian joan smalls mtv vmasKim Kardashian West in Balmain, Joan Smalls in Balmain

Pink Ladies:

gwen stefani chloe moretz mtv vmaGwen Stefani in L.A.M.B. Couture, Chloe Moretz in Louis Vuitton

Cobalt Queens:

sarah hyland julianne hough mtv vmasSarah Hyland in Kaufman Franco, Julianne Hough in Emilio Pucci

Singing the Blues:

katy perry riff raff taylor swift mtv vma red carpetKaty Perry and Riff Raff in custom Versace, Taylor Swift in Mary Katrantzou

 You’ve Got Chainmail:wiz khalifa amber rose mtv vma

Wiz Khalifa, Amber Rose in Laura Dewitt

 xx,

WhyDid

 

 

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Nov
19
2012
0


Why Did You Wear That: Let’s Make Beautiful Music Together

american music awards red carpetAnother year, another round of award shows doling out little metal trophies to folks who may or may not deserve them. But the fun is not in who wins what as much as it is in who wears what.  So, let the self tanner application, lapses in style judgement, and wardrobe malfunctions begin and let’s kick things off with last night’s American Music Awards.

While it’s been a while since I’ve tuned in, some things remain exactly as they did a year ago… and beyond.  These include but are not limited to:

  • They’re still letting Chris Brown perform.  Why they even let him out of his cage, I’ll never know, but this white girl won’t be dancing like it’s her birthday when his songs come on.  Ever.
  • Jenny McCarthy is still hot.
  • You still can’t touch MC Hammer.
  • Christina Aguilera still wears leotards when she probably shouldn’t (but she can still sing like nobody’s business, so we’ll give her a pass).
  • Pitbull is still making songs that don’t make any logical sense in English or Spanish.
  • Crowding the stage with babes in bedazzled bustiers will still cover up any bad performance.
  • Taylor Swift is still singing about some boy who did her wrong in something that resembles a bad prom dress.
  • Nicki Minaj is still in need of a time out.
  • Pink could still kick your ass.
  • No Doubt is still as rad as ever.

And while it’s nice to have a bit of stability in your life, I’m a little concerned about America’s choices in music.  Perhaps that’s a better indicator of the state of our nation?  One thing that does seem to be changing is Justin Bieber’s voice (anyone else catch that?) which was quite clear after hearing him dedicate his win to the “haters” (he realizes he’s an eighteen year old 98lb white kid, right?).  So, I decided I was going to come up with my own award categories that seem much, much more important:

Best Legs:

heidi klum stacy kiebler taylor swift ama

Color of the Evening:

carly rae jepsen kesha ginnifer goodwin ama

 Most in Need of a New Hairstyle:

nicki minaj carrie underwood karmin hair amaSo, let’s step it up, folks.  We’ll consider this a “warm up.”  A “rehearsal” if you will.  Last time I checked, which was just now, my socks are still on, so no one particularly blew me away.  Bring on the crazy… I’ve gotta have something to write about.

xx,

WhyDid

 

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Nov
21
2011
0


Monday Mashup: All That Glitters…

Hey Nicki?  Johnny 5 called… he wants his look back.  I should have figured the opening performance would set the tone for this year’s American Music Awards.  The tone being one big hot shiny mess.  I should have changed the channel… I should have looked away, but alas, I could not.  I’ve had about enough of Nicki’s wacky get ups. I’m on team Johnny 5.  What about you?

The AMA’s weren’t all bad though.  Here are five lovely ladies sporting what was most certainly the trend of the evening- metallics.  Sadly, this is about where the “good” ends and the eye gouging begins.

Watching the AMA’s only confirmed the fact that I might need to relocate to a tropical island– or at least place where it takes a lot more talent and several fewer sparkly bra tops to get ahead.

Exhibits A, B, and B 1/2.  It pains me to see Christina Aguilera look like… well, that.  What happened to that little Genie in a Bottle of yore?  It also pains me to see the mother of two wearing a sequin covered costume that may or may not have belonged to Britney Spears circa 1999.  Those jewel encrusted bra cups have got to be a breast feeding safety hazard.  Am I right?  Let’s not even get into the incestuousness of Pitbull’s pelvic grinding performance with J. Lo followed up by another performance with her ex-hubby Marc Anthony and sequin braziered fly girls.  Ew. And as for Adam Lambert, well, I really just wanted to throw him in so I could coin his new nickname, “Glambert.”  You’re welcome.

Let’s get it together, America.  We’re better than this.  All that glitters is not gold.

xx,

WhyDid

P.S. Ending the show with Hasselhoff in his manties? Classy touch.

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Oct
28
2011
0


The List Volume LVIII
Written by: WhyDid | The List

Last week, I challenged you to make even the most mundane items slutty.  This week, let’s just go ahead and point out the already played out Halloween costumes for this year (seemed to work out for you folks last year).

  1. Black Swan.  You’ve been planning this for 9 months haven’t you?
  2. Nicki Minaj.  This is this year’s Lady Gaga.
  3. Charlie Sheen.
  4. Amy Winehouse.  Just ew.
  5. Steve Jobs.  Too soon.
  6. Pan Am flight attendant.
  7. Any of the Kardashians. Ever.
  8. Angry Birds.
  9. William and Kate.
  10. Justin Bieber.

Hey, there’s still time to make a swap.

xx,
WhyDid

 

P.S. Last year’s list.

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