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WhyDid Wisdom: Happily Ever After (Or at least for the next 72 days)

By Kirsten|October 31st, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

This week’s WhyDid Wisdom is brought to you by the letters, D, U, and H.

So, I don’t like to talk about Kim or the rest of the Kardashian Klan because, well, they drive me KRAZY. However, the events today leave me with no other choice. While I saw Kim and Kris (Humphries)’s divorce coming a mile away, as I scrolled through Facebook and Twitter, it seems that some of you knuckleheads are not only surprised, but also upset. Let me guess, you are the same folks who actually thought this three ring circus and 18 different spin off shows were “real.” You were really “rooting” for Kim and Kris, huh? Well, newsflash, nothing on any of the Kardashian brand “reality” shows is real. It’s poorly scripted TV. They are not the Cosby’s and that is not real life.

Luckily, some of you seem to be (finally) getting the wake up call. One such status update from someone said, “I bet this whole wedding was a PR stunt.” Oh, wow, somebody call MENSA. We’ve got a live one. I’m not trying to be condescending, but come on guys, you didn’t really think this was anything more than an opportunity to trick you, advertisers, and sponsors out of time and money, did you? Oh… you did. That’s so sweet. Well, sugar, face the facts. You got played.

But don’t feel bad because you know what? I’m not just annoyed with the American public. This is a lesson for brands out there everywhere (cough, Vera). Come on, you should have known better. Affiliating yourself with something like this is not good for business. Did you really need to sell out for something as cheap, tawdry, and contrived as a reality TV wedding? Have some standards.

Sure, some say Kim is a “good businesswoman” but some could also say the same about Bernie Madoff. Just because they figured out how to make money, doesn’t mean they did it the right way or with even an ounce of integrity.

Here’s the deal. It’s okay to be pissed off about this, but not because you’re sad that there isn’t going to be another Kim and Kris Making Babies spin off. It’s okay to be pissed that this family exploited the sacred vows of marriage to make a quick (eighteen million) bucks. It’s okay to be pissed that NONE of that money was given to charity. It’s okay to be pissed that our gay and lesbian friends aren’t even allowed to get married in this country. It’s okay to be pissed that they had the audacity to have a wedding registry. And it’s most certainly okay to be pissed that such a gauche display of wealth was televised and consumed by so many when there are families in our very own backyards who don’t have enough to pay for groceries this month.

But don’t you dare be pissed and then even think about picking up the remote to watch yet another vapid brain melting morally corrupt episode of “Blah Blah Insert Kardashian Name Here.” Because if this didn’t teach you a lesson, then you’re just as much to blame for it as Kim. Without you (and that pesky sex tape), she’d be nothing but a girl selling clothes in the Valley (good one, Kris).

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via The New York Observer

WhyDid Wisdom: Behind the Mask

By Kirsten|October 27th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

Like I said, I think people really enjoy holidays like Halloween because it allows them to escape their reality and be someone or something else for a day. Feeling a need to transport yourself from an everyday mundane pencil pushing 9 to 5 for just one night of fun is one thing. However, when you start living your life as a self created character on a day to day basis, it’s time to re-evaluate.

There’s a lot of pressure to present yourself in a certain fashion. Maybe you hang around a fancy pants crew and feel as though you’ve got to keep up with the Joneses. Or maybe you feign an interest in something that your boyfriend enjoys because you want him to like you more. Whatever the case may be, you’ve got to get exhausted eventually, no? Keeping up appearances is not easy… especially when it’s something foreign to you.

Throughout life, we do change. We change based on experiences, age, and circumstances. We are shaped by our environment and we learn new things and meet new people. All of these things are what mold us into who we are. What you can’t forget is that piece of you that’s always been there. Your core. It’s so easy to forget who you and to where you came from with all the noise and garbage out there. Sometimes we want to forget because it’s a painful place or maybe it’s just embarrassing. But why should you be embarrassed of what makes you you? Over the years, I’ve met lots of people from all walks of life. The people I love most are those with interesting stories and imperfect lives. They are the people who acknowledge their faults and… embrace them. It’s endearing to be around someone like that. Even though your backgrounds might not be exactly the same, you form a camaraderie. It’s much easier to be yourself around someone who is being his or herself. That’s what real relationships are made of.

It’s true. You can be whoever you want. Just know that eventually being anyone other than yourself will catch up to (a very exhausted) you. Take a minute and look at yourself in the mirror. Remember the girl who’s behind the mask. See all the things that make you beautiful, perfect or not.

So maybe Halloween is more than just one day a year… After all, we’re all wearing masks, aren’t we?

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via SuccessCreations

WhyDid Wisdom: Count Your Pennies

By Kirsten|September 29th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

It’s come to my attention that while a lot of you lovely ladies may have your fingers on the pulse, you don’t seem to have a handle on your wallet. I am, by no means, the next Suze Orman, however, I’ve done a pretty good job managing my finances throughout the years. While we do have access to the Kardashians’ every move courtesy of E!, we do not have access to their bank accounts. So many Americans have been tricked into thinking that they too are uber fab celebrities with unlimited funds and the need to fill their closets full of designer duds. I know plenty of girls living on PR girl paychecks (or with 529 college savings plan) with trust fund style wardrobes. Sure, Sally has a closet full of designer shoes, but she’s also got a mailbox full of credit card bills. And let me tell you, there’s nothing chic about credit card debt. So, rather than suffer the embarrassment of having your AmEx declined at brunch, here are some quick tips on how to keep your balance sheet in the black:

Do not buy things you can’t afford. I know that sounds pretty straight forward and sensical… but it would appear that many of you have no common sense. Try only using a debit card. Give your credit cards a break. There was a time in my life where I put mine in my freezer. Talk about a spending freeze.
Ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” Answer truthfully… 9 times out of 10, the answer will be, “Absolutely not.”
Make a budget. Fire up good ol’ Excel and start tracking your finances (like that food diary you keep). You will be amazed at what you are spending your money on. Did you really spend $200 last month on afdsfadf?
Not good with Excel sheets? Sign up for Mint.com. It will link all your accounts and help you get a handle on your finances. You can even set goals and track progress.
Set up your bank account online so that you can monitor your transactions anytime, anywhere (so long as there’s wifi).
Put away a portion of your paycheck every month. If you set it up to take it out automatically, it will be as if you never even saw that money. I have been doing this for years. I actually don’t even know how to turn it off… and it’s probably for the best.
Do not touch your savings unless it is an absolute emergency. And no, a Balenciaga bag is not an “emergency.”
It’s the little things. Don’t go out as much. Eat in. Don’t buy things online. Sure those panties were only 15 bucks, but when you buy 6 pairs that’s $90!

Sure, these seem pretty obvious, but it never ceases to amaze me how many young ladies have no control over their own finances. Don’t get caught up in retail therapy and land yourself in debtor’s prison.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Take a Minute

By Kirsten|September 11th, 2011|WhyDid Wisdom|

to be thankful for all you have and send thoughts and prayers to those who are less fortunate. Never forget.

WhyDid Wisdom: Stop What You’re Doing

By Kirsten|August 18th, 2011|Why Did You Date Him?, WhyDid Wisdom|

You know that saying, “those who can’t do teach”? Yeah, well, often times that’s me. I tend to have a very level head when it comes to my friends’ and loved ones’ problems… yet, when it comes to my own… well, let’s not go there. But the point is, I love to help out where I can. Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective or different point of view in order to sort things out. That’s where I come in. This week, we have a little bit of a glitch in the domestic bliss:

Dear WhyDid,

My boyfriend has really started to take me for granted. I do so much for him and initially I did it because I wanted to, but now it feels like he just expects it. We live together and I do the dishes, the laundry, make dinner. I’m your regular 50’s housewife– except I work too! I don’t need him to thank me on a daily basis (although that would be nice), but showing a little bit of appreciation from time to time wouldn’t hurt. How do I let him know that this house doesn’t clean itself without coming off as a lunatic?

love,

Desperate Housewife

Well, here’s my advice and it’s quite simple. Don’t. Do. Anything. Literally. Stop doing everything that you’ve been doing to make his life better, simpler, more cushy. He’ll notice. And he’ll notice fast. It’s a funny thing with guys. They can’t seem to muster up a “thank you” when all’s running smoothly, but the moment something’s awry they have plenty to say. When he does speak up, do not turn this into World War III. Use it as an opening to let him know that you feel a little bit underappreciated.

He’s not a bum because he started getting comfortable with your domestic expertise. Relationships change with time. People get used to things and can forget what life was like pre-you (aka awful). While we’re on the subject, let’s flip things around. When’s the last time you dolled yourself up and greeted him at the door? Do you sleep in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt? Women are also guilty of getting comfortable. Don’t worry, your relationship isn’t headed for the rocks. This is just a gentle reminder that you need to let each other know how much you appreciate one another and that you may need to crank the heat back up.

Sometimes it’s what you don’t say.

Need a little WhyDid Wisdom? Send your questions here.

xx,

WhyDid

Image via Apples and Onions

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