Why Did You Wear That: Blizzards and Bikinis

By |March 2nd, 2009|Why Did You Wear That?|

I figure there is no better time than in the middle of a blizzard to give a little lesson in bikinis. So what if there is 10 inches of snow in NY?  No time like the present to start thinking about warm weather and teeny bikinis…

I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field of swimwear and I feel that many women don’t know what kind of bathing suits actually  look good on them, which totally frustrates me. Plus, I do realize that for some (okay most of us) bathing suit shopping can be somewhat traumatic.  Especially after hibernating all winter long. So here are a few guidelines to keep in mind while shopping for this season’s swimsuit:

  • The most common and most annoying mistake women make is thinking that just because they have a bigger booty, they need to wear bigger bottoms (i.e. more fabric, more coverage).  Ehhh!! You are so wrong.  Guess what more fabric does to your butt?  Emphasizes how big it is.  Ever notice how Brazilian women always look amazing in their bikinis?  Their bikini bottoms are cut smaller making their bottoms look smaller.  (Yes, Brazilian women are hot and live on the beach so they know the tricks of the trade). So do not, I repeat, do not go out and grab the biggest pair of bottoms you see in order to cover your rump.  You are only calling more attention to the area you are trying to disguise. (Not to mention you will give yourself a case of what my BFF and I so lovingly refer to as “LA” (Long Ass)).


Here is a smaller cut bikini by Tibi, $190. (more…)

Las Vegas, What Are YOU Wearing?

By |December 9th, 2008|Why Did You Wear That?|

Okay, so I know that Vegas is a lotta flash and a lotta cash… but I am having a really difficult time digesting this. Some of it was spent on the ideal charter mini bus rental we’d hired to get to the venue, but the rest I didn’t know what to do. Seriously, my stomach is churning. I think I may have nightmares after what I’ve just witnessed… Buckle up. It’s gonna be a rough one.

Okay, so I’m a little confused here. Who’s who? I don’t think your boyfriend’s hair should ever be longer than yours. The pixie cut is difficult enough to pull off, you don’t need your boyfriend competing with you!

Um, do you think she knows that her bra is hanging out? Oh… I get it. That’s part of her “outfit”! Clever little devil!

OMG. Sadly, this must be a Vegas TREND! This is so weird to me. We have spent years trying to figure out how to try and HIDE our bra straps and now we’re just popping our bras right out the front our tops? (more…)