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Would You Wednesday: Going the Distance

By Kirsten|February 16th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?|

Luckily. I, myself have never really had to deal with a long distance relationship. However, I know quite a few people who have dabbled in frequent flyer flings. I require far too much time and attention to be a candidate for one. One thing I’ve learned from talking with friends who have decided to partake in pen pal passion, is that the math is simple. How ever long you’ve been dating… divide it by 3.6. Let me break it down for you… If you are lucky, you will get to see your beloved every weekend for two days. So two times fifty two (that’s 104)… Not a whole lot considering there are 365 days a year. So, basically, if you’ve been dating for a year, you’ve really only been dating for three months (tops).

Another thing that was brought up was the fact that a long distance relationship can sometimes deflect the real relationship flaws because you are only able to spend a short amount of time with someone and then return to your normal life. So, anything that may have been going wrong over the weekend is forgotten about in the lag time between your next flight. When you can only see someone for a short period of time, you are on your very best behavior. Day to day life and challenges are not really a part of your relationship. People can show you the parts of them that they want you to see and nothing else. While emailing, texting, and Skyping, you can “play a role” of who you want your mate to think you are. It is incredibly difficult to really know someone who is thousands of miles away. Often times, when the real life proposition of moving to the same city is breached, it is quite scary.

Though sometimes it is unavoidable, I think that long distance relationships are really just time fillers for people who don’t really want to commit. Unless there is a plan and time period for one (or both) party(ies) to relocate, it’s just like being in a holding pattern until you’re ready to land.

Now boarding rows 10-21.

xx,

WhyDid

*P.S. there are certain clauses to this. Like if you happened to be dating before one of you had to move and have every intention of reuniting shortly.

WhyDid Wisdom: Cut It Out

By Kirsten|December 3rd, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|

Today while Skyping with one of my besties in New York, we giggled about how at times, I go ahead and take the next exit to CrazyTown. That sometimes, I can be completely melodramatic. And quite honestly, I’m an emotional cutter.

This actually isn’t funny and I’m not like Demi Lovato cutting. I do not inflict physical harm on myself, but I do tend to enjoy inflicting emotional pain on myself. For some reason I like to see things that are going to hurt my feelings. I can’t explain it, but I find myself doing things that I know ahead of time are going to hurt me. I’ve mentioned before that I have crazy P.I. skills and at times those can be really helpful, but at other times they can be totally detrimental to my mental well being.

Why on earth do I need to see that Twitpic? Why would I want to read something mean someone said about me? Why do I want to read blogs that totally rip me off? All very good questions. It’s almost like I enjoy feeling the pain. And don’t you worry. I’m not selfish with my pain. I like to share it with those around me.

It’s like when you have a cut in your mouth and you keep sticking your tongue in it. Perhaps I’m a masochist. Maybe I’m self destructive. One thing’s for certain, I’m fully aware of my problem. That is again, a blessing and a curse. I’m happy to be well aware of my self abusive behavior, however, being aware of such makes me become responsible for myself. So, the other day, I started taking steps forward in “cutting” this self cutting habit from my life. I started deleting toxic people from my life.

If you find yourself participating in this same behavior, ask yourself, “why?” Is it that hard to just be happy?

xx,

WhyDid