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Luckily. I, myself have never really had to deal with a long distance relationship. However, I know quite a few people who have dabbled in frequent flyer flings. I require far too much time and attention to be a candidate for one. One thing I’ve learned from talking with friends who have decided to partake in pen pal passion, is that the math is simple. How ever long you’ve been dating… divide it by 3.6. Let me break it down for you… If you are lucky, you will get to see your beloved every weekend for two days. So two times fifty two (that’s 104)… Not a whole lot considering there are 365 days a year. So, basically, if you’ve been dating for a year, you’ve really only been dating for three months (tops).
Another thing that was brought up was the fact that a long distance relationship can sometimes deflect the real relationship flaws because you are only able to spend a short amount of time with someone and then return to your normal life. So, anything that may have been going wrong over the weekend is forgotten about in the lag time between your next flight. When you can only see someone for a short period of time, you are on your very best behavior. Day to day life and challenges are not really a part of your relationship. People can show you the parts of them that they want you to see and nothing else. While emailing, texting, and Skyping, you can “play a role” of who you want your mate to think you are. It is incredibly difficult to really know someone who is thousands of miles away. Often times, when the real life proposition of moving to the same city is breached, it is quite scary.
Though sometimes it is unavoidable, I think that long distance relationships are really just time fillers for people who don’t really want to commit. Unless there is a plan and time period for one (or both) party(ies) to relocate, it’s just like being in a holding pattern until you’re ready to land.
Now boarding rows 10-21.
xx,
WhyDid
*P.S. there are certain clauses to this. Like if you happened to be dating before one of you had to move and have every intention of reuniting shortly.
I’m pretty sure that I am the ideal person to speak about this particular topic. My last 3 SOs have been long-distance: Columbus, Calgary and Florida. From experience, everything you said is spot on. Both people have to understand the risks and the difficulties that will undoubtedly arise. Both people have to be truly committed to communication and openness. If both parties aren’t in 100%, then it is absolutely doomed to failure. Welcome to my life!
Perhaps, just like produce, you should buy local. Just a thought. xx
I’ve been in several long distance relationships…and I really mean long distance: Holland – Canada, Indonesia – Holland, USA – Indonesia, LA – San Diego – France, and finally, Singapore – USA. I moved back to the US for the last one. The first location is where I lived. And you’re absolutely right. I’m never able to fully commit…it just freaks me out. Having to be with somebody all the time stresses me out. So for me, long distance relationships were perfect. But as you can see in my patterns, i’d usually dump the LD bf for a local one. And then start all over again when I moved.
I’ve kind of matured and won’t consider doing it again though.
Wowza! You have really done some seriously long distance! I guess I could have consulted you for your expertise on the subject! xx