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Red Carpet Recap: Up All Night To Get Lucky (and write this post)

By |January 27th, 2014|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

slipknot-beyonce-daft-punk-grammysLast night the 56th Annual Grammy Awards were held at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.  The red carpet was covered in designer clad nominees and presenters from Kendrick Lamar to Anna Kendrick all looking to clinch their very own gold sippy cups.  You know who didn’t win a Grammy?  My computer… because it failed to perform.  I’ve been without it since Thursday and fortunately was able to harass the geniuses at Apple enough to retrieve it at 6:45pm on Sunday evening– just in time to chip in my two cents on the evening’s events.  Phew.

To go ahead and get the party started, Beyonce, husband, Jay-Z, and that ass took the stage wherein we all began to feel guilty about the half chewed leftover piece of cold pizza in our mouths.  Perhaps we should all take up “surfing” because it seems to be doing wonders for Beyonce’s body… and love life.  While we’re at it, where can one meet a man who glances at us like we’re the elusive golden unicorn and also happens to be a rap music mogul and doting daddy?

While on the topic of children, teen dream, Lorde was given the duty of taking the stage after Jay and Bey and despite a somewhat spastic start, she nailed her vocals proving that she earned both song of the year and best pop solo vocal wins.  Speaking of nailing it, can anyone explain those nails to us?

But let’s get down to what really matters, the fashion.  The Golden Globes were all about crimson, the SAG’s about blue, and the Grammy’s were primarily comprised of glimmering golds.  There were spatterings of color from blue to orange and another heavy dose of red, and quite a few female icons opted for pants in black.  Madonna and son, David, wore matching Ralph Lauren and oh gawd, she wore a grill.   And shouldn’t her grill match her bedazzled gloves?  And what happened to her British accent?  It seems she’s traded it in for a southern twang… maybe due to her golden grill?  It’s too much for me to comprehend right now.  I ‘m drunk in love… or maybe prosecco.

The ladies who took our breath away have all graced both the best and worst dressed lists in award shows past.  Katy Perry was a vision in (predicted) Valentino, Beyonce in sheer white Michael Costello, a pregnant Ciara in Emilio Pucci, and a tiny Taylor Swift in Gucci.  I was torn on Taylor because there was no denying how stunning her gown was, but the hair and makeup didn’t match in my opinion.  This was her time to be edgy. A slick ponytail and more dramatic makeup would have taken her totally over the top.  Her half assed updo read post Pilates hair to me.  By the way, have none of Taylor Swift’s friends shown her a video of her dancing?  Please do.

On the other end of the spectrum, as adorable and talented as Ariana Grande may be, I’m heading to her house with a hairbrush and some tough love.  If I see her in another half up-half down ‘do, I’m shaving her bald like Britney.  As for the man posing as a roast beef eating Smokey the Bear, it’s a good thing you’re handsome and talented, cause that hat…  It’s got its own Twitter handle for heaven’s sake.  Skylar Grey wore what is essentially a flesh colored Band-Aid and Zendaya, I don’t even know what to do with you.

But for the most part the evening was full of fun surprises like 34 couples being married by Queen Latifah during a Macklemore/Madonna performance and a Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney reunion.  I’m just left wondering where our bad girls of the red carpet, Miley and Rihanna were?  Lady Gaga was also nowhere to be found leaving the fashion shenanigans up to the men and some creepy ass clowns.

Doesn’t Matter if You’re Black or White:

sarah hyland paula patton grammySarah Hyland, Paula Patton in Nicolas Jebran, Judith Hill

Back in Black:

kelly-osbourne-lorde-grammysKelly Osbourne in Badgley Mischka, Faith Evans, Louise Roe, Lorde

White Snakes:

The 56th Annual GRAMMY Awards - ArrivalsParis Hilton in House of Milani, Steven Tyler, Keltie Knight, Iggy Azalea in Elie Saab

It’s a (Wo)Man’s World:

maddona grammysStevie Nicks, Cyndi Lauper, Yoko Ono, Madonna and son, David in Ralph Lauren

Suits and Ties:

miguel kaskade grammysMiguel in Saint Laurent, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in Mr. Turk, Austin Mahone in custom Sanctuary 28, Kaskade

Gold Album:

rita ora grammysRita Ora in Lanvin, Amber Rose in Naeem Khan, Chrissy Teigen in Johanna Johnson

Get Naked:

kasey musgraves grammysSarah Bareilles Blumarine, Kasey Musgraves in Armani, Brooklyn Haley

Red:

pink-miranda-lambert-grammysTamar Braxton, Miranda Lambert in Pamella Roland, Pink in Johanna Johnson, Gloria Estefan in Gustavo Cadile, Colbie Caillat in Ezra Santos

Channel Orange:

giuliana-rancic-grammysGiuliana Rancic in Alex Perry, Natasha Bedingfield in Christian Siriano

True Blue:

grammys 2014 red carpetAnna Faris in Fitriani, Bonnie McKee in Gustavo Cadile, Alicia Keys in Armani Prive

Outfit of the Year:

best dressed grammysKaty Perry in Valentiono, Beyonce in Michael Costello, Ciara in Emilio Pucci, Taylor Swift in Gucci

And the Winner Isn’t:

grammys worst dressedAriana Grande in Dolce and Gabbana, Pharrell Williams, Zendaya in Emmanuel Ungaro, Skylar Grey Michael Costello

and in case you missed it or just need a reminder as to why you need to hit the gym…

xx,

WhyDid

Red Carpet Recap: I’ve Got the Golden Ticket

By |January 12th, 2014|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

golden globes red carpetTina Fey in Carolina Herrera, Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney, Kaley Cuoco in Rani Zakhem, Zoe Saladana in Prabal Gurung, Allison Williams in Alexander McQueen, Zooey Deschanel Oscar de la Renta

Nope, that’s not the second coming of the polar vortex. It’s just hell freezing over because for the first time in a long time, I thought most all of Hollywood’s leading ladies looked nothing short of lovely on this evening’s red carpet in party dresses for the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards. I wasn’t sure if it was the bubbles from the prosecco getting to my head, or if all of Hollywood had decided to take things more seriously, from their attire to their acceptance speeches. Perhaps it was the absence of teenagers and excessive twerking- in any case, I wasn’t about to complain. Seeing limo after limo from Boston corporate coach arrive depositing a well dressed, well coiffed beauty, I knew my job dissecting the night’s fashion was going to be tough.

And then Sandra Bullock showed up looking like a flamenco dancer.

Followed by Paula Patton as a butterfly struggling to shed her cocoon.

And before all of humanity starts sharpening their pencils (and knives) to write me hate mail, I was most excited to see what America’s current sweetheart, Jennifer Lawrence, would be wearing. I was less than impressed when she made her unfashionably late entrance in the predicted Dior. My dad likened her to a barrel, but I’m thinking she looked more like that awful game women are forced to play at bridal showers wherein they create wedding gowns out of toilet paper.

Her anticlimactic arrival could only be topped by that of America’s original sweetheart, Julia Roberts, who must be a method actor with a movie starring her as a Dolce & Gabbana wearing schoolmarm.  Her conestoga could not be located though.

But again, it wasn’t all bad. Red in all shades from tomato to garnet was by far the color most favored though Emma Watson’s version was the equivalent of a fashion mullet. There was also a lot of embellished black and elegant metallics. And we all know Jared Leto was the real belle of the ball.  Perhaps I’ve reached a new level of zen or have been in California for far too long, but I did not feel like dismantling the TV for the first time while watching an awards show.

Leaves me feeling like 2014 may be looking up. For now.

Red Hot Red Carpet:

emma watson golden globesEmma Watson in Dior, Julia Louis Dreyfus in Narciso Rodriguez, Julie Delpy in Romona Keveza, Berenice Bejo

Two Timers:

amy-adams-taylor-swift-golden-globesAmy Adams in Valentino, Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera, Taylor Swift in Carolina Herrera

Black on Black on Black:

emma-roberts-golden-globes-red-carpetEmma Roberts in Lanvin, Jessica Chastain in Givenchy, Leslie Mann, Uma Thurman in Versace

Styled by Wiz Khalifa:

golden globes red carpetMonica Potter in Romona Keveza, Julianna Marguiles in Andrew Gn, Lizzy Caplan in Emilio Pucci, Emma Thompson in vintage Lanvin

Black and White and Red Carpet All Over:

margot-robbie-golden-globes-red-carpetMargot Robbie in Gucci, Zosia Mamet in Reem Acra, Laura Carmichael in Viktor & Rolf, Emilia Clarke in Proenza Schouler

Golden Goddesses:

golden globes red carpetKate Mara in J. Mendel, Robin Wright in Reem Acra, Michelle Dockery in Oscar de la Renta, Naomi Watts in Tom Ford

Platinum Princesses:

mila-kunis-kate-beckinsdale-golden-globesTatiana Maslany in Jenny Packham, Kate Beckinsdale in Zuhair Murad, Mila Kunis in Gucci, Sarah Paulson in Marchesa

Gang of Green:

golden globes red carpetTaylor Schilling in Thakoon, Helen Mirren in Jenny Packham, Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein

Ain’t No Drama with These Baby Mamas:

kerry-washington-olivia-wilde-golden-globesKerry Washington in Balenciaga, Olivia Wilde in Gucci, Drew Berrymore in Monique Lhuillier

And the Real Winners Are:

golden globes best dressedCate Blanchett in Armani, Lupito Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren, Laura Dern in Roberto Cavalli, Amy Adams in Valentino

Good Girls Gone Bad…Like Really Bad:

golden-globes-worst-dressedJulia Roberts in Dolce & Gabbana, Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung, Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland Couture, Jennifer Lawrence in Dior

Bring on award season… and the prosecco.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: MTV VMA’s (Very Much a Mess)

By |August 26th, 2013|Celebrity Style, Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

Katy Perry in Emanual Ungaro, Ellie Goulding, Becky G, Holland Roden in Naeem Khan

So, pretty much the VMA’s were the equivalent to the hangover I had from this weekend. And as a matter of fact, they actually made me want to drink more (Don’t worry, mom, I didn’t). For starters, when MTV hosts the Video Music Awards in Brooklyn, you know Brooklyn has lost all its “edge”- kind of like teen pregnancy and Lady Gaga. Guess it’s time to move back to the East Village, kids.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, who is apparently still making music, she started things off by impersonating her favorite internet meme: cat breading.

Don’t worry, she didn’t stay clothed for long. And not to be outdone, Miley Cyrus followed suit by also wearing some type of prosthetic panties for her performance with Robin Thicke, so I watched the rest of the show naked. We get it, Miley. You’re a bad girl. Side note: if Paula Patton knocked Miley upside her head for nuzzling her husband’s neck and teenage twerking, would that be considered child abuse?

No Pants, No Problem:

lady gaga vma mtv Lady Gaga in Prabal Gurung and in her panties

Miley Cyrus in Dolce & Gabbana and in her birthday suit

Things didn’t get much better from there or on the red carpet. I really have nothing good to report regarding the fashion from the evening… I mean, Rihanna skipped the red carpet altogether. There were, however, lots of leather clad children running amok. Perhaps this is where I show my age, because I had no idea who half of the individuals interviewed by Sway were (I don’t think he did either). I was actually shamed by two tweens the other night for not knowing who One Direction is. Noted, ladies. I wonder which 1D member stands to be the Justin Timberlake of ‘NSYNC. You see what happens to the others, guys… Dance harder.

From feathers and sequins, lots of leather, and more crop tops, stars left very little to the imagination. Even good girl, Selena Gomez, had an intentional wardrobe malfunction in her Atelier Versace. And what’s worse? Showing up for your big night wearing the same thing as someone else much like 2Chainz and Grimes did. I honestly, don’t know what could be more awkward than that …. oh, right… Taylor Swift’s dance moves.

Besties in Blue:

Taylor Swift in Herve Leger, Selena Gomez in Atelier Versace

Still Cropping Up:

mtv vmas 2013Shailene Woodley in Pucci, Jordin Sparks, Alicia Quarles

Songbirds…literally:

Ciara in Givenchy, Rita Ora in Alexandre Vauthier Couture

2Twinz:

mtv vmas 20132 Chainz in Versace, Grimes in Versace

Wonder What?

Sarah Hyland, Wonder Woman

Still More Modest than Miley:

Iggy Azalea in Emilio Pucci, Erin Wasson

If I decide not to reproduce, you can thank this year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

xx,

WhyDid