Why Did or Why Don’t: That’s A Bum(mer) Bag

By |October 22nd, 2014|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Wear That?|

sarah jessica parker chanel fanny packThe fashion industry may have cleverly renamed them “waist bags” and “belt bags,” but they’re not fooling me.  I roller skated to Ace of Bass “I Saw the Sign.”  These are glorified fanny packs (known in the UK as “bum bags” since “fanny” means something entirely different) and having just returned home from Orlando, Florida, presumably the birthplace of fanny packs, I know one when I see one. It may  have taken a bit longer for fanny packs to trickle down from the runways (the trend was first spotted in early 2013) to the retail stores, but they’re here and they’re happening.  From Chanel to Sarah Jessica Parker (not her first time wearing a hands free handbag), the waist bag has gone mainstream and now you’re going to have to experience it… perhaps for the second time.  I suppose it could be worse.  You could be carrying your dog as a tote. Something I can’t get enough of are fashionable bags, I usually buy hermes birkin bags ever since my friends have recommended them to me.

And there are always upsides to even the most troublesome trends.  One brand called their version a “dance bag,” which I guess makes sense if you’re one who frequents nightclubs.  Gone are the days of guarding your bag from sticky cranberry juice stains and drunk girls with sticky fingers.  Dance the night away with your handbag safely resting on your hips.  Hanging your valuables from your waist will also cure the epidemics of uneven arm strength and scoliosis.  The only downside is that I don’t believe you’ll be able to safely stash much more than your cash, cards, and beloved iPhone.  So looks like you’ll be stuck carrying that shopping bag from Forever21 for all to see.

waist bags fanny pack1. Rebecca Minkoff Quilted Affair Fanny Bag, 2. NewbarK Eva Metallic Textured Leather Belt Bag, 3. Clare V Leather Trimmed Shearling Belt Bag, 4. ONE by Erin Dana Evan Large Fanny Pack, 6. What Goes Around Comes Around Louis Vuitton Geronimos Waist Bag, 7. Times Arrow Asia Lamé Dance Belt Bag, 8. Pendleton, The Portland Collection Convertible Belt Bag, 9. B-Low the Belt Samantha Belt Bag, 10. Alexander Wang Leather Belt Bag

Since the belt bag is readily available at many of your favorite shopping outposts, now’s your time to weigh in on the trend. And don’t forget to check the Wicker basket bag too.




Would You Wednesday: Not Your Biggest Fanny

By |January 23rd, 2013|Why Did or Why Don't?|

spring 2013 accessory trendsJudging by the Spring 2013 runways, it would appear that there is a certain accessory attempting, yet again, to make a comeback.  Designers Rachel Zoe, Lacoste, DKNY, and Jeremy Scott all sent the hip hugging fanny pack down the catwalk.  This isn’t the first time designers have adorned their ensembles with the hip satchel though.  It seems like for the last three years, fanny packs have been trying their darndest to regain social relevance.  I hate to quote Mean Girls (slash, love it), but in the words of Regina George, “Stop trying to make fetch happen.”

famous fanny packs comebackBut alas, it would seem some celebrities drank the Kool-Aid and designers are practicing what they preach… and who could forget the Carrie Bradshaw Gucci fanny pack moment?  In theory, I get the fanny pack.  We need both hands to carry our lattes, walk our dogs, hail a taxi, and simultaneously text and Instagram.  Who wouldn’t want a little hip pouch a la kangaroos to hold all of our essentials?  But really?  I don’t even care if you gave it the chic new name of hip purse or waist wallet, the last place that needs more attention is my hip region… and these hips don’t lie.  So, ladies, I must ask, are we doing this come spring?

That’s so fetch.



Why Did You Wear That: My Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades

By |February 12th, 2010|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

So, here’s something that I think needs to be discussed. The proper usage of sunglasses.  Last time I checked, they were for protecting your eyes from overexposure of UV rays (and to prevent crow’s feet).  However, it has become abundantly clear that not all of you got that memo.  I want to go ahead and point the finger at you, Hollywood.  You, somehow, gave people (a-hem, celebrities) the impression that sunglasses were like a mimosa.  Okay at any time. Well, have I got news for you. Sunglasses, are, in fact, not okay at any time.  For instance, at night. There is no sun.  So, unless you go ahead and invent something called “moonglasses” with some type of scientific research backing them up, please remove your shades.

This trend also spawned the usage of shades in nightclubs.  Remember those clear-ish shades that “juice heads” started wearing at “da club?”  Gross. I assume this was to either, A) attempt to disguise your quarter sized pupils from all the drugs you were on, B) attempt to disguise your inherent dbaggery. Failure on both. It only drew more attention to you as we pointed and laughed.

Celebs, this goes for you as well. Who do you think you’re fooling with those shades on? I might NOT have noticed you strolling by… until you slapped those ginormous sunnies on. Now I’m wondering who the creep in the sunglasses is.

celecbrity sunglasses

I was like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Well, MC, I’ll tell you why. (Disregarding your pink leather jacket) you’re out at night wearing sunglasses. Let’s go over this again, there’s NO SUN. Cut it out. You think we wouldn’t recognize you without them? Doubtful considering your affinity for pink leather attire.


Oh… RiRi, you look confused. could it be because you are wearing sunglasses in the pitch dark and can’t see four feet in front of you? Thought so.


I mean, I don’t know why I’m even throwing this guy in there. He’s king of all D’s. Of course he’s got his shades on.


Oh Kimmy, I can’t even focus on the fact that you’re wearing sunglasses at night because I’m entranced by the fact that you’re wearing LEGGINGS AS PANTS. YOU of all people should NOT being wearing leggings as pants. I understand that most shirts probably don’t even fit over your rear, but let’s give a try, no?


Um, hey guys? It’s RAINING. Know how I know? You’re holding an UMBRELLA. One of these things does not go with the others. (Btw- is that a fannypack?)

Alright, do I need to make a brief list of sunglass uses? Fine. I’ll go slow. Pay attention, please.

  • Wear sunglasses when it’s sunny.  Novel idea.
  • Do not wear sunglasses at night.
  • Do not wear sunglasses when it’s raining.
  • Just say, “no” to drugs. Even your sunglasses can’t help you here.
  • The bigger and more obnoxious your sunglasses are, the more attention they will draw to you.
  • Just because you can’t see us, doesn’t mean we can’t see you.
  • Clear sunglasses are an oxymoron.
  • There are no such thing as “moonglasses.” I was making a point.