The List Volume XCI

By |February 9th, 2014|The List|

gym-behaviorKeeping in theme and wrapping up this week’s fitness focused posts, let’s cap things off with The List.  This particular list is solely dedicated to the most obnoxious gym behaviors that are sure to raise your blood pressure and give that punching bag something to cry about.  I’m sure there are some professional gym-goers who are much bigger sticklers when it comes to gym etiquette, but let’s just stick with the basics, okay?

  1. Any sort of noises.  Grunting, panting, singing along to Bruno Mars- not acceptable.
  2. If there are 15 empty machines, why did you insist on hopping on the one directly next to me?
  3. Though I’ve been guilty, as Stiegler always tells me, girls should not wear grey pants to the gym.  Seeing a sweat stained crotch is so not sexy.
  4. Texting at the gym is one thing, but talking on the phone while you get in your “cardio” is just absolutely absurd.  There’s a “decline” button for a reason.  If your cat isn’t giving birth and calling to tell you as much, there’s no need to be on the phone.
  5. If you’re paying $35+ a class, don’t slack off.  You paid a pretty penny to participate, so do your best even when it’s excruciatingly painful.  As Jenn once said during an especially tricky oblique exercise, “If it’s too tough, well tough. Do it.”
  6. Push up bras under sportsbras.  Not only is that counterintuitive, but seriously?
  7. Do not talk to me while I’m working out.  See these headphones?  They’re the universal “bug off” symbol.
  8. It’s a treadmill, not a runway.  While it’s okay, and frankly encouraged, to wear something nicer than your ex’s holey sweats, a full face of makeup and Pantene perfect hair is taking things too far and pretty much pissing the rest of us off.
  9. So, you’re walking on a treadmill reading an US Weekly in a completely packed gym?  Ok.  Next time, stay home and just swing your legs on the couch.
  10. Did you seriously forget your deodorant?



How To Tuesday: Booty and the Beach

By |May 22nd, 2012|How To Tuesday, Why Don't You Watch?|

beauty of the bootyThis weekend is Memorial Day weekend, which we all know marks the onslaught of short shorts, miniskirts, and teeny weeny body baring bikinis.  While some of you (ahem, calling all 22 year olds) may be itching to kick off your clothes, the rest of us might be feeling a tad more apprehensive about our bikini bodies.

So, if the standard bikini wax and spray tan isn’t going to be enough to goad you into your tiniest Brazilian bikini, I’ve got a few surefire ways to tighten your tookus before hitting the beach.  All of these exercises can be done in the safety of your own home so no need to risk the creepy man in a tank top trying to chat you up whilst running on the treadmill.

I recommend doing sets of 30 of each exercise and cranking up my workout playlist in the process.

(And don’t forget to check out WhyDid’s Ab workout to address that impending FUPA!)

You are so booty-ful.