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Red Carpet Recap: American Snooze-ic Awards

By |November 24th, 2014|Celebrity Style, Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

fergie jlo iggy azalea american music awardsOh, sorry.  I just woke up.  I can only assume that my deep slumber was induced around the same time I slammed my hand to my forehead upon One Direction taking the stage to accept the award for Artist of the Year.  Either that or I had too much wine.  Maybe both.  In any case last night was the 42nd annual American Music Awards held at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles and hosted by a basically blacked out and slurring Pitbull (Mr. Worldwide, if you will).  While I look back on the evening, I can’t actually tell you who won or gush over any particular performance (except maybe Lorde’s), but there are a few key things I did deduce from the evening.  If you do not already own a leotard, get one.  Without a nary Beyonce, Miley, or Katy in the auditorium, there was no lack of spandex to be seen.  Also, J. Lo and Fergie made the message clear that the old guard hasn’t gone anywhere and a Pilates class sure doesn’t hurt.

As far as the red carpet, there were about fifteen “celebrities” who actually walked it, leaving my options for best, worst, and WTF very limited.  Black was the overall favorite for the evening and the ladies who donned the official color of New York, looked sleek, stunning, and sophisticated whether in long gowns or short shifts.  The skin showing of choice last night was most certainly the legs with sky high slits as well as micro minis.  Green, coral, a bit of navy, and peachy flesh tone were the favored hues worn by songstresses.  Rita Ora was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was the only one wearing a skin flattering yellow frock.

The favored hairstyle for the evening was soft tousled waves more often than not in buttery blonde.  Manicures were more like claws with long pointed tips not to be outdone by fingers covered in elaborate rings on multiple fingers.  Statement clutches and sky high heels finished off the ladies’ looks.

And we can’t forget the fellas.  Wyclef Jean and Imagine Dragons channeled their rocker style in tailored tees and leather, while Aloe Blacc spelled it out for us.  Nick Jonas’ suit made me feel even more awkward than his crotch grabbing Flaunt Magazine spread.  I quipped that I hoped 5 Seconds of Summer were also five seconds from a shower.  Magic looked like lost tourists who had wandered onto the red carpet after a tour of Hollywood Boulevard (rude!) and Sam Smith seemed to have forgotten his socks.

I wonder if Pitbull’s hangover is as bad as mine.

All But Basic Black:

american music awards red carpet black dressesCharlie XCX in Vivienne Westwood, Selena Gomez in Giorgio Armani, Fergie in Halston

jenny mccarthy amas red carpetMary J. Blige, Christina Milian, Jenny McCarthy in Cushnie et Ochs

 Little Babe Dress:

nicki minaj american music awards Nicki Minaj in Alexander Wang, Meghan Trainor in Ted Baker, Lauren Cohan in Blumarine

 Golden Coral:

jhene aiko american music awardsElizabeth Banks in Peter Pilotto, Julianne Hough in Zuhair Murad, Jhené Aiko in Alice + Olivia

 Flesh Take:

jennifer lopez red carpet american music awardsJennifer Lopez in Reem Acra, Selena Gomez, Morgan Stewart

Leggy Ladies:

kendall kylie jenner american music awardsKendall Jenner, Heidi Klum in Versace, Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier

Micro Trend:

becky g american music awardsBecky G, Lele Pons, Noah Cyrus

All That Glitters:

jordin sparks red carpet american music awardsJordin Sparks in Halston, Olivia Munn in Lanvin, Zendaya

Whatever Suits You:

iggy azalea american music awardsJessie J, Iggy Azalea, Gigi Hadid in Prabal Gurung

Ill Suited:

jonas neyo american music awardsNe-Yo in Anthony Franco, Ansel Elgort in Kent and Curwen, Nick Jonas in Armani

Male Order Babes:

imagine dragon american music awardsWyclef Jean, Imagine Dragons

 Leading Ladies ( DaBest):

taylor swift rita ora american music awardsKate Beckinsdale in Kaufman Franco, Rita Ora in Zac Posen, Taylor Swift in Michael Kors

Led Astray (Dafuq?):

worst dressed red carpet amaBleona Qereti, Frankie J. Grande, Diana Ross

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: MTV VMA’s (Very Much a Mess)

By |August 26th, 2013|Celebrity Style, Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

Katy Perry in Emanual Ungaro, Ellie Goulding, Becky G, Holland Roden in Naeem Khan

So, pretty much the VMA’s were the equivalent to the hangover I had from this weekend. And as a matter of fact, they actually made me want to drink more (Don’t worry, mom, I didn’t). For starters, when MTV hosts the Video Music Awards in Brooklyn, you know Brooklyn has lost all its “edge”- kind of like teen pregnancy and Lady Gaga. Guess it’s time to move back to the East Village, kids.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, who is apparently still making music, she started things off by impersonating her favorite internet meme: cat breading.

Don’t worry, she didn’t stay clothed for long. And not to be outdone, Miley Cyrus followed suit by also wearing some type of prosthetic panties for her performance with Robin Thicke, so I watched the rest of the show naked. We get it, Miley. You’re a bad girl. Side note: if Paula Patton knocked Miley upside her head for nuzzling her husband’s neck and teenage twerking, would that be considered child abuse?

No Pants, No Problem:

lady gaga vma mtv Lady Gaga in Prabal Gurung and in her panties

Miley Cyrus in Dolce & Gabbana and in her birthday suit

Things didn’t get much better from there or on the red carpet. I really have nothing good to report regarding the fashion from the evening… I mean, Rihanna skipped the red carpet altogether. There were, however, lots of leather clad children running amok. Perhaps this is where I show my age, because I had no idea who half of the individuals interviewed by Sway were (I don’t think he did either). I was actually shamed by two tweens the other night for not knowing who One Direction is. Noted, ladies. I wonder which 1D member stands to be the Justin Timberlake of ‘NSYNC. You see what happens to the others, guys… Dance harder.

From feathers and sequins, lots of leather, and more crop tops, stars left very little to the imagination. Even good girl, Selena Gomez, had an intentional wardrobe malfunction in her Atelier Versace. And what’s worse? Showing up for your big night wearing the same thing as someone else much like 2Chainz and Grimes did. I honestly, don’t know what could be more awkward than that …. oh, right… Taylor Swift’s dance moves.

Besties in Blue:

Taylor Swift in Herve Leger, Selena Gomez in Atelier Versace

Still Cropping Up:

mtv vmas 2013Shailene Woodley in Pucci, Jordin Sparks, Alicia Quarles

Songbirds…literally:

Ciara in Givenchy, Rita Ora in Alexandre Vauthier Couture

2Twinz:

mtv vmas 20132 Chainz in Versace, Grimes in Versace

Wonder What?

Sarah Hyland, Wonder Woman

Still More Modest than Miley:

Iggy Azalea in Emilio Pucci, Erin Wasson

If I decide not to reproduce, you can thank this year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

xx,

WhyDid