- Spending money on expensive sheets only to wake up in a pile of nerd balls.
- Gerber daisies. Sorry.
- Indian givers. I’m fairly certain that when you give someone a gift, there is no return policy.
- Facebook timeline. Don’t like it can’t make me. Oh wait.
- Vet bills. I appreciate you exploiting my emotions while emptying my wallet.
- Men on Pinterest. Ladies, if your husband/boyfriend is pinning at his computer… he may very well want to be “pinning” all kinds of other things (wink, wink).
- Creepy married men. Sir, I can see your ring.
- People who have conversations at an excessively loud decibel. This goes double when said individuals are discussing last night’s episode of Gossip Girl, Real Housewives, etc. How do you know if I’ve watched yet?
- Name dropping. I just mopped the floor. Can you pick that up?
- Not being able to just marry my dog.
Thanks and goodnight.