Oh hey guys, I’ve been under the weather… hence my disappearing act. While laying in bed cursing both left and right nostrils, I’ve had plenty of time to think about things that suck. Here’re just a few.
- The Chipmunk movie. Not everything needs to be re-visited.
- Razor scooters. If you’re over the age of, let’s say eight, and still riding one, you’re doing it wrong.
- Your artsy emo photos. Not even Instagram is gonna make that apple more interesting.
- Facial piercings… unless, of course, you’re Rooney Mara. Then you can do whatever you want.
- “Nom, nom, nom.” I can’t even put into words what seeing this makes me want to do. I hate mouth noises in real life… let alone your ridiculous simulated status update ones.
- Speaking of food related status updates. No one wants to see a picture of your shitty dinner or stupid vodka tonic. If your food is in the shape or Mount Rushmore or perhaps there’s liquid nitrogen coming out of your glass, maybe- maybe– I’m interested. Otherwise, you’re just taking up space in my feed.
- Hey Sofia Vergara- we’ve been over this. Leggings are NOT pants.
- Parking spot vultures.
- Tile countertops.
- Mascara commercials that clearly use fake eyelashes and/or CGI. No mascara is that good.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to drown my sorrows in Nyquil.
photo via LiveStrong