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Red Carpet Recap: I’ve Got the Golden Ticket

By |January 12th, 2014|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

golden globes red carpetTina Fey in Carolina Herrera, Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney, Kaley Cuoco in Rani Zakhem, Zoe Saladana in Prabal Gurung, Allison Williams in Alexander McQueen, Zooey Deschanel Oscar de la Renta

Nope, that’s not the second coming of the polar vortex. It’s just hell freezing over because for the first time in a long time, I thought most all of Hollywood’s leading ladies looked nothing short of lovely on this evening’s red carpet in party dresses for the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards. I wasn’t sure if it was the bubbles from the prosecco getting to my head, or if all of Hollywood had decided to take things more seriously, from their attire to their acceptance speeches. Perhaps it was the absence of teenagers and excessive twerking- in any case, I wasn’t about to complain. Seeing limo after limo from Boston corporate coach arrive depositing a well dressed, well coiffed beauty, I knew my job dissecting the night’s fashion was going to be tough.

And then Sandra Bullock showed up looking like a flamenco dancer.

Followed by Paula Patton as a butterfly struggling to shed her cocoon.

And before all of humanity starts sharpening their pencils (and knives) to write me hate mail, I was most excited to see what America’s current sweetheart, Jennifer Lawrence, would be wearing. I was less than impressed when she made her unfashionably late entrance in the predicted Dior. My dad likened her to a barrel, but I’m thinking she looked more like that awful game women are forced to play at bridal showers wherein they create wedding gowns out of toilet paper.

Her anticlimactic arrival could only be topped by that of America’s original sweetheart, Julia Roberts, who must be a method actor with a movie starring her as a Dolce & Gabbana wearing schoolmarm.  Her conestoga could not be located though.

But again, it wasn’t all bad. Red in all shades from tomato to garnet was by far the color most favored though Emma Watson’s version was the equivalent of a fashion mullet. There was also a lot of embellished black and elegant metallics. And we all know Jared Leto was the real belle of the ball.  Perhaps I’ve reached a new level of zen or have been in California for far too long, but I did not feel like dismantling the TV for the first time while watching an awards show.

Leaves me feeling like 2014 may be looking up. For now.

Red Hot Red Carpet:

emma watson golden globesEmma Watson in Dior, Julia Louis Dreyfus in Narciso Rodriguez, Julie Delpy in Romona Keveza, Berenice Bejo

Two Timers:

amy-adams-taylor-swift-golden-globesAmy Adams in Valentino, Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera, Taylor Swift in Carolina Herrera

Black on Black on Black:

emma-roberts-golden-globes-red-carpetEmma Roberts in Lanvin, Jessica Chastain in Givenchy, Leslie Mann, Uma Thurman in Versace

Styled by Wiz Khalifa:

golden globes red carpetMonica Potter in Romona Keveza, Julianna Marguiles in Andrew Gn, Lizzy Caplan in Emilio Pucci, Emma Thompson in vintage Lanvin

Black and White and Red Carpet All Over:

margot-robbie-golden-globes-red-carpetMargot Robbie in Gucci, Zosia Mamet in Reem Acra, Laura Carmichael in Viktor & Rolf, Emilia Clarke in Proenza Schouler

Golden Goddesses:

golden globes red carpetKate Mara in J. Mendel, Robin Wright in Reem Acra, Michelle Dockery in Oscar de la Renta, Naomi Watts in Tom Ford

Platinum Princesses:

mila-kunis-kate-beckinsdale-golden-globesTatiana Maslany in Jenny Packham, Kate Beckinsdale in Zuhair Murad, Mila Kunis in Gucci, Sarah Paulson in Marchesa

Gang of Green:

golden globes red carpetTaylor Schilling in Thakoon, Helen Mirren in Jenny Packham, Reese Witherspoon in Calvin Klein

Ain’t No Drama with These Baby Mamas:

kerry-washington-olivia-wilde-golden-globesKerry Washington in Balenciaga, Olivia Wilde in Gucci, Drew Berrymore in Monique Lhuillier

And the Real Winners Are:

golden globes best dressedCate Blanchett in Armani, Lupito Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren, Laura Dern in Roberto Cavalli, Amy Adams in Valentino

Good Girls Gone Bad…Like Really Bad:

golden-globes-worst-dressedJulia Roberts in Dolce & Gabbana, Sandra Bullock in Prabal Gurung, Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland Couture, Jennifer Lawrence in Dior

Bring on award season… and the prosecco.

xx,

WhyDid

Golden Globes Recap: The Good, The Bad, and the Absurd.

By |January 17th, 2011|Red Carpet Recap|

I usually can not even read/watch most red carpet recaps because they tend to make my usually mild mannered easy going self turn into a screaming irate “I want to throw things” banshee.  This probably has a lot to do with the fact that most “critics” somehow are tied to certain celebs and designers, so rather than disturb the sleeping beast, they placate the ugliest of ugly with insincere flattery.  Well, if you are looking for an ass kissing review… I’m not your girl.  I don’t care how much I love a celeb or a designer (a-hem Christina Aguilera and Vera Wang) if your shit is whack, I’m going to say so.  Also, I appreciate people who march to the beat of their own drums, but wearing something to try to be “different” and “avant garde” usually works against you- especially when you’re known for wearing turtlenecks and Tory Burch flats.  Sometimes a killer silhouette with impeccable tailoring is much sexier than fringe, tassels, tulle, and the works.  Perhaps this is why I was one of four people I know who did not enjoy Black Swan.  Sorry, I don’t typically follow the masses.  So, with all that said, let’s get down to business.

I honestly have no idea who won which awards last night.  All I do know is that Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive wins my award for best dressed.  I mean, in case you haven’t already seen her sexy naked body in Love and Other Drugs… this is pretty close.  This dress is absolutely stunning on her and it is such a welcome change to her usual navy ballgown uniform without going too far outside the lines (aka her classic style).  I feel like Anne is finally coming into her own and embracing her womanly ways. Bravo, Ms. Zoe.

Another dress I really loved was the Alberta Ferretti gown that Jayma Mays donned.  I actually had no idea who she was, but thought that this is how a black gown should be done.  Also, if you are going to do any type of plunging neckline, Jayma has the right type of bust.  Pushing your girls up in a low cut dress (ahem, January) just looks totally tacky. We are here to see the Golden Globes… not your globes!

A lot of people were talking about Mila and Angie battling it out in the green game, but I have to say, I think Catherine Zeta Jones knocked it out of the park in her emerald Monique Lhuillier gown.  This is what Hollywood glamour is all about. She looks like a modern day Scarlett O’Hara.

I really don’t care how pretty Olivia Wilde is or how Tron did in the box office.  In this Marchesa gown, she looks like a drunk debutante.  I have seriously seen this dress in the window of Deb and Deb Plus or maybe down in the fashion district on Los Angeles Street.  I usually have nothing but kind words for Marchesa… but this? It’s a prom dress gone wrong.  And really, Olivia? Are you a can-can dancer?  You’dve been better off keeping those shoes hidden beneath the twenty tons of tulle you’re wearing.  I don’t care if they are Loubous…

Gosh… I was wondering where the hell my bath mat went.  Silly, silly Michelle Williams is wearing it!  What, you don’t believe that my bath mat is Valentino?

Let’s go ahead and make something clear: My hate for this frock has nothing to do with my distaste for Black Swan.  I think Natalie Portman was wonderful in the film despite it’s underdeveloped plotline.  However, in this Viktor and Rolf (with MATCHING SHOES AND BAG mind you), she looks like a grade A asshole.  I know that she’s with child, but that’s no excuse to drape yourself in a flesh colored sack (um, did you not see Jane Krakowski?).  I hate to be mean to a pregnant woman, but this look just did not work from head (her updo is lopsided) to toe. I need you, Ms. Portman, to get in touch with a stylist ASAP. You are far too fetching to show up to the Globes looking like this.

Looking forward to the Academy Awards… I hope the attire is less underwhelming than it was this go round.  Bring your A game, ladies!

xx,

WhyDid