Apr
18
2013
3


WhyDid Wisdom: Acid Spoils the Container
Written by: WhyDid | WhyDid Wisdom

be quiet hushErnest Hemingway was quoted as saying, “There is nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”  (Sidenote: If it’s possible to have a crush on a deceased man, I do. He’s a genius and degenerate at the same time.  Precisely my type).  Writing is exactly that, bleeding, giving yourself, your insides.  There are days, even weeks, when I feel I have absolutely nothing to give and I’m not one to speak just to hear my own voice or to make sure that everyone knows I’m still alive (Don’t worry, I am).  Quite the conundrum for a blogger, when oversharing is sometimes a crucial part of the game.

Which leads me to this post.  If you don’t have something nice to say, well, don’t.

Sadly, bullying is nothing new, but it seems the Internet has only exacerbated the problem in recent years.  Have you ever perused the comment sections below articles on the web?  People are vicious, aggressive, and just plain mean.  While most commenters tend to be anonymous (read: cowardly), Internet drive-bys aren’t confined to websites and blogs alone.  Social media has created a virtual verbal battleground as well as the ability to peak into every aspect of another human’s life.  Along with all the positives, like reconnecting with old friends and sharing special moments (your cat’s christening), come all the passive aggressive comments, the just plain out aggressive comments, and snarky, backhanded compliments.  When did our “friends” become our enemies?

I write a blog, a public forum, making me a target for this kind of thing. While I’ve been fairly lucky avoiding complete ridicule, I’m not immune—like the one time someone said I had no eyebrows (I’m sorry, I have light hair.  Blame my dad.  His eyelashes are clear).  I don’t write a blog to be mean. I write it to help other people be it with love or leggings and hopefully make somebody, anybody, laugh in the meantime (with me or at me, doesn’t really matter), which is why I could not comprehend why people just had to be so nasty to one another.  I used to get so hurt by the negativity of others to the point of it affecting my mood, my day, and my own actions. And then one day, I started to realize where it came from.

Sure, I see things all the time that I don’t like. I mean, do I want to see another photo of your pregnant belly or hear you say, “rise and grind” again?  Not really.  And while I may roll my eyes, sigh a heavy sigh, and shake my head, I’m not going to hold onto it and let it ruin my day.  Any time those sneaky feelings of jealousy, or hatefulness towards someone else pop up, I stop for a moment and ask myself, “What’s your problem?”

You see, having taken the time to self reflect, I started to realize the times I felt most affected were the times when I felt there was something missing in my own life.  “It’s not you it’s me,” couldn’t be a more accurate statement. Sadly, it’s hardly ever used in this context.  Most likely if those being cruel knew it was “them”, they wouldn’t be acting that way in the first place.  They’d be rescuing kittens or painting pictures of sunsets.

Bottom line: the people trying to break you are actually the broken ones.  Once you make this connection and switch your way of thinking, your life will be changed forever.  Pinky promise.

If we spent less time worrying about other people’s lives and more time worrying about our own, we could be doing something amazing for ourselves leaving no room for jealousy because our own lives would be so rad.  Be honest, how many times have you found yourself lost in the lives of others on Instagram, the king of passive aggressive behavior?  That’s forty-five minutes you’ll never get back and you have nothing to show for it except maybe a bruised ego.

If you don’t like something, move on. Don’t obsess over it or waste your precious time putting someone else down when you could be doing something positive for yourself or someone else. Guess what?  Putting someone else down is never going to lift you up.  It’s a time and energy suck that just, well, sucks.

So, the next time you experience someone spewing venom, say a little prayer for them that their void may be filled and perhaps they’ll pick up a hobby along the way.  And don’t you be the toxic one.  Mom always told me, “acid spoils the container,” and you’re way too pretty of a container to be ruined.

xx,

WhyDid

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Feb
08
2012
1


Girl Crush: Free to Be Dree

Speaking of luscious literary ladies, this beyond gorgeous gal has deeply rooted family history in American Literature.  Granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway, Dree Hemingway has made a name for herself and it may have to more to do with her looks than books.  I have a mild to moderate interest in Ernest Hemingway, so when one of my best friends indulged me in visiting the Hemingway Home in Key West back in November, we were intrigued to see family photos including those of Margaux and Mariel Hemingway, Dree’s mom.  Upon further Wikipediaing (is that a verb yet?), we discovered Dree and her sister, the equally lovely, Langley Fox.  It’s hard to believe so many beautiful and interesting people share the same DNA.

But back to my girl crush du jour, Dree.  She’s chic.  She’s understated.  She’s the girl we all wish we were.  The epitome of “Oh, this ol’ thing?  I thought I knew a thing or two about layering, but Dree could even school the Olsens!  It seems I’m not alone in my admiration of this lanky blonde’s style.  You may recognize her from Madewell’s holiday (choose your own adventure) campaign and Sandro tapped her to design a capsule collection for the brand.  With her classica all-American looks and fun free spirit, I get the feeling this is just the begininning for Dree… and there’s plenty more to see.

dree hemingway clothes1. Nightcap Clothing Triangle Sweater Top, $132, 2. Kinross Cashmere Oversize Featherweight Scarf, $132, 3. Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Pur Couture in Le Orange, $30, 4. Elizabeth and James Swelt Flat Cuff Bootie, $175, 5. Splendid Modal Lycra Maxi Skirt, $79, 6. Marc New York Distressed Asymmetrical Leather Jacket, $298.80, 7. Madewell Rail Straight Jeans, $98.50, 8. Sandro Cleo Paneled Washed Silk Shirt, $285 

xx,

WhyDid

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Aug
09
2011
2


Why Don’t You Do What You Love?
Written by: WhyDid | WhyDid Wisdom

Recently, I finished a really great book called The Paris Wife (by Paula McLain).  And while you probably think this is going to be a painfully dull book review, it’s not… although if you’re looking for a great end of summer read, I certainly suggest that one.  Without digressing too far, the book is basically written from the point of view of Ernest Hemingway’s first wife, Hadley Richardson.  It chronicles the early years in Paris where he penned one of his more notable novels (though there are many), The Sun Also Rises.  During the 1920′s,  those considered to be “interesting” were living in Paris.  Some hypothesize it had something to do with the exchange rate, but others insist that this was a place where writers and artists alike could be creative.

After finishing this book, it became very clear to me that things have certainly changed since then.  Some for the better, but one thing very much for the worst.  While as a society, we’ve evolved in terms of technology and modern conveniences but, we’ve managed to slip backwards in regards to the arts.  Sure, there are people who call themselves “artists”, but it seems to me that most people doing whatever it is that they do, are doing it for the money rather than the actual passion that should propel the craft and that comes across in the final product.

Instead of making something truly authentic, people make what will appeal to the masses.  They create what will be considered commercially acceptable and will bring in the most cash.  They’d rather sell records and hit sales levels than break ground and be true to his or her talent.  Sure, I like to bust a move along to a poppy Katy Perry tune, but can we really call that art?  What happened to real bands that play real instruments and don’t rely so heavily on autotune?  When’s the last time you saw a painting by someone currently living that truly moved you?  Banksy is cool, but is graffiti really comparable to canvas?

When I talk to friends, it seems we are all stuck somewhere in between doing what we love and doing what will pay the rent/mortgage/Louboutins.  I feel quite certain that this has a lot to do with why there is a disappearance of people dedicated to doing what they love.  It appears our generation has no soul.  We’re driven by money and “stuff.”  I’m not saying that we all need to be a bunch of emo hipsters, but I do think it wouldn’t hurt to “gut check” from time to time to make sure we’re all living lives that feel authentic.

Don’t do it for the fame.  The money.  The glory.

xx,

WhyDid

 

Photos via Hemingway’s Paris

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