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Bored Sick

By |September 23rd, 2009|Uncategorized|

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I would have written about the Emmy’s Red Carpet, but it was so boring and underwhelming that I decided to get the flu instead. So for the last three days, I’ve been sick in bed and well, other than losing a couple of vanity pounds, there’s nothing cute about that. Needless to say, I’m back up and running now and have had plenty of time to plot my next victims. Stay tuned.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Dogs and D-Cups

By |September 19th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|

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So, I am a firm believer that men should be men and women should be women. And I do believe that part of that is men spoiling women.  However, there a couple of things that women should be completely independent on.

Girls love gifts and those gifts can range from lingerie to diamonds to those shoes you’ve been lusting over.   Sometimes a guy may suggest a puppy.  Maybe he suggests he will buy you some breast enhancements.  Take the jewelry. Accept the shoes.  Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT accept the puppy or the boob job.

Both are great things to have, however, they are the type of purchases a woman should make on her own. Heaven forbid, you and the bf break up.  If he bought you the dog, he’s going to think he has some sort of right to the dog.  If he doesn’t straight out take the dog back, he will always use it as a string for communication. To keep your dog happy during such times you can go on https://dope.dog/ to get CBD treats.

As for the boobs, you should probably think about what kind of boyfriend you have if he’s suggesting a boob job in the first place.  Also, you never want a guy throwing that back in your face.  He will always be able to say he owns a part of your body… and well, that’s just creepy.

So, in this case, max out the credit card. Buy your own dog. Buy your own boobs. Both are incredibly wise investments. You’ll get a good return on both.

xx,

WhyDid

2009 VMA’s (aka View. My. Ass.)

By |September 14th, 2009|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

It seems that this year people actually tuned into the MTV VMA’s.  Perhaps it was the tribute to Michael Jackson, or maybe that it was back in good old NYC, either way the show did not disappoint.  Twitter was abuzz last night with updates on all the drama and performances.

Clearly, the theme for last night was a lot of gratuitous ass.  I would have come up with an “A” word for vagina, but could not think of one.  The bar was set high when Katy Perry performed wearing WHITE shiny leggings and a serious case of cameltoe.

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And just in case you didn’t notice her lady parts, she finished off her performance with a “crotch grab.”  Classy. Love Katy, but no woman should attempt the white spandex pants. Ever.

Kanye-West-grabs-the-mic--001Speaking of ass, Kanye West sure acted like one when he ruined Taylor Swift’s moment to shine.  Really, Kanye? Get a life. Picking on a cute girl like Taylor is just LAME.

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Oh, Lady Gaga. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.  She’s notorious for her lack of clothing and her affinity for all things leotard.  While she normally has security who blocks paparazzi from taking photos of her derriere, we got a full view last night as she swung covered in “blood” from the ceiling.  If Lady Gaga could buy stock in “inappropriateness”, she would.

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It’s clear to all of us why Jay-Z went ahead and put a ring on that.  I have to give the girl props for sporting this little number, however, that’s a lot of crotch.  A couple of things: 1) I want the number to her waxer.  It’s safe to bet that Beyonce took a trip to Brazil before her performance, 2) the trick to Beyonce’s svelte thighs? Double (or even triple) layers of tights.  A shiny shaping pair layered beneath nude fishnets will erase and trace of cellulite or extra lbs.

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We all know pink is a bad ass, but attempting this little stunt in a unitard with a huge contraption in her crotch giving her the world’s largest cameltoe… Ouch.

I wanted to also include a photo of Russell Brand in that ridiculous suit of his because he is a total ass and we also saw too much of his crotch as well. I’m confused as to why MTV signed him on for a second year of hosting. Do people actually like him? And for the record, women aren’t the only ones who need to be conscious of their thighs in skinny pants. Men with thick thighs can not, I repeat, can not pull off skinny pants.

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But alas, there was a happy ending after all.

large_taylor-swift-neyonce-mtv-video-music-awardsBeyonce saved some ass (ahem, Kanye) after she graciously gave up her time for an acceptance speech for Video of the Year in order to allow Taylor Swift to complete her acceptance speech that had been cut short due to douchebaggery.

I propose that next year they go ahead and change the name.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: America’s Next Top Midget

By |September 9th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|

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Seriously, Tyra?  You’ve gone too far this time.  Cycle 13 of America’s Next Top Model (slated to premiere tonight) is dedicated to “models” who are 5’7 and under.  Yeah, that’s right.  Anyone over 5’7 who showed up to the auditions was turned away.

Basically, the show has given in to the fact that it’s a total joke.  While I have tuned in to several seasons from start to finish (it is good entertainment, after all) none of the winners or contestants have ever gone on to have legitimate modeling careers.  The only posing they are doing is on the banquettes of NY nightclubs.

Maybe producers decided that tall girls were no longer interesting.  After the casting fiasco for the shorty showdown, perhaps they are on to something.  Either that or maybe the tall girls realized this was not the way to go about getting signed to an agency and a kiss of death to their career.

Being a lofty 5’7, myself, I just find the whole concept silly.  I did the obligatory stint in modeling that most girls go through after arriving in Manhattan, but soon realized I was a good two inches too short and 5 years too late.  Granted Kate Moss is only 5’7, but she makes up for her lack of height in sheer badassness (not sure that’s a word, but we’re talking about Kate here). I would assume the real working models of the world think of this as a kind of insult? Either way, I will probably still tune in and watch Tyra talk about herself and teach the girls how to “smile with their eyes.”  Good reality TV is hard to find.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Fall in Line

By |September 1st, 2009|Why Did You Wear That?|

It seems that fall has decided to pop in a little early this year.  The temperatures have dropped and there’s that familiar chill in the air.  Luckily, I get cold when I travel so I happen to have one of my favorite Bendel’s cashmere cardis with me. Otherwise, I would be freezing and unable to leave the house.

So,this first chilly fall day has got me  compiling my fall shopping list.  I’m no Anna Wintour, but here’s my September issue.

Over the Knee Boots– whether you go for a flat or a high heeled version, they will add a sexy edge to jeans and flirty dresses.

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 Pour La Victoire Malorie boot, $375

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Barney’s Co-op Over the Knee Buckle Boot, $740

Leather Jacket– if you didn’t  grab up a leather jacket for early spring, now’s the time to do so.  For fall they are a little more rocker chic and I would stick to black or perhaps a luggage color.

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Joie Ailey Leather Moto Jacket, $689

Something Plaid– whether it’s a plaid shirt  or just an accessory, plaid is making a come back. Just don’t go plaid crazy. One plaid at a time.

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Forever21 Snap Button Plaid Shirt, $11.50

Leggings- Oh, leggings. You aren’t going anywhere are you?  Luckily, this season they are available in a multitude of styles.  Two stand outs are denim leggings and leather leggings.  Just PLEASE remember to cover your hoo- ha no matter what style you choose. Leggings still are NOT pants.

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Diane Von Furstenberg Leggy Leather Leggings, $565

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Juicy Couture Denim Legging, $88

 Boyfriend Blazer– Cute alternative to a jacket on a brisk day.  Pair it with skinny pants and a pretty blouse.

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Aqua Boyfriend Blazer, $88

The New LBD– the little black dress will never go out of style, but look for new details this fall. Whether it be asymmetrical details or a mesh inset this season’s LBD’s have a little more edge. Dress it up with heels, dress it down with your leather jacket and boots.

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 Bebe One Shoulder Mesh Dress, $48

Destroyed Denim– while I think the boyfriend jean will fade out as the temperatures drop, skinny destroyed denim will continue to remain strong.  They will look great with a sexy T and booties.

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Siwy Hannah Slim Crop Jeans, $198

It may be getting cooler, but you’ll still look hot with a few of these items in your arsenal.

xx,

WhyDid