Sure was a good thing that I spent the afternoon reading and napping, cause I am not sure I’ve ever been so bored by an awards show.  The Billboard Music Awards was so slow moving I was left wondering if everyone was handed a Xanax on their way in to their seats.  And that’s not really where my questions end.  Are they actually giving out awards at this thing and is it co-sponsored by Zuhair Murad?  PSY was nominated for multiple awards in the rap category?  Tupac just rolled over in his grave.  Was lip syncing a requirement? Are some of these stars gunning for a spot on next season of Dancing with the Stars?  Did everyone’s invitation get lost in the mail? (Mine did).  Where’s Rihanna when you need her?

Drop crotch leather pants, unicorn t-shirts, body slamming– and no, I’m not describing my weekend.  Ke$sha was looking, well, not like Ke$ha in an ensemble that leads me to believe she just came straight from the pool at Wet Republic.  I understand this isn’t the Oscars, let alone the Met gala, but it was such slim pickings on the “blue carpet” that I nearly threw in the towel and smashed my guitar halfway through watching.  But alas, no one likes a quitter, so here are my picks for best, worst, and WTF?! of the night.

Platinum Bound:

Selena Gomez in Atelier Versace, Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad, Miley Cyrus in Balmain, Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad

Going Gold:

Alyssa Milano, Kelly Rowland in Rami Al Ali, Stana Katic, Kimberly Perry

Carly Rae Jepsen in Dyanthe, Emmy Rossum in Zuhair Murad, Ke$ha in Givenchy, Jennifer Morrison in Kristian Aadvenik

One Hit Wonders:

Nayer, Z Lala, Jenny McCarthy, Ariana Grande

Maybe I need to take up an instrument.

xx,

WhyDid