While the entire southern portion of the city starts to cheer about their power returning this evening… I can’t help but be a bit of a sour puss ’cause my building just sent a little memorandum letting us know that we’d be without power for another two weeks due to the need of a new generator. Well, then… who wants to spend a week in Miami with me? Anyway, while this storm has been less than pleasant, it has taught me to be patient, be kind, and believe that the worst is yet to come (kidding, kind of). Here are the top ten lessons ol’ Sandy taught me:
- Cab drivers don’t know why they have headlights. This one’s for you, cab driver who told me he couldn’t take me downtown because, “it’s dark down there.”
- “Damn, girl, get a flashlight.” Clearly, I’ve been reading too much classic literature (by candlelight) and thought it would be super romantic to use a candle torch to navigate my way down the stairs… Next time I’ll wear a flowing white nightgown and bouffant… or just get a flashlight. (FYI: get the good ol’ battery operated kind because it turns out, when the power goes out, the rechargeable type isn’t all that useful).
- My body looks crazy good by candlelight, so ladies… if you’re looking to get down… light those candles.
- Coconut water makes a great mixer with vodka. I’d like to take 100% credit for this, but remember this guy I dated? He mighta made it for me once… nonetheless, comes in great during a crisis.
- This is when actual “books” come in handy. I know your iPad is great, but you can’t read it by candlelight when the battery dies.
- Greek yogurt, fruit, eggs, and salmon are not non-perishable. Arm and Hammer, ahoy.
- Get a dog. They’re the only things that will keep you sane while you sit in silence and sing them songs about why they’re so awesome, handsome, smart, and funny.
- Always look your best (as you can) since you never know who you’ll meet while hanging out in a pub charging your phone. One can’t predict when a handsome stranger should present himself… although most of the handsome strangers worth meeting defected upstate in their Range Rovers. (I should know, I watched them leave).
- A hurricane is no excuse for a messy apartment. You best believe that my bed was made every morning (proud, mom?) and it’s in your best interest to clean out your refrigerator sooner than later. That smell… I won’t forget it any time soon.
- Even in a natural disaster, leggings are not pants.