Seeing as I’m now back in the dating pool (though I don’t date a lot… reasons following), I have remembered why it is that dating can be both glorious and horrifying at the same time. While some men are gallant and chivalrous like white knights, others are more like the town idiots riding around town on broke down donkeys.
The good ones are far and few between and the bad ones are so bad, they almost cancel out all the good ones… making me want to just throw in the towel and start the adoption process… and I know I’m not alone in this. So go ahead and print this out, ladies. Post it by the watercooler in your office or better yet, the men’s bathroom. Pass it along anonymously (or not) to the men in your lives in hopes that somehow, some way they’ll get the hint.
- When you ask for my number and I say I’ll just take yours and then you make me call you so you have mine. Unfair.
- Asking for my Instagram info rather than my phone number. Are you serious? (By the way, WhyDid is now on Instagram: whydid_dotcom).
- Telling me about all the other girls you’re dating. Well, that clears up what’s going to happen after dinner: Nada.
- I appreciate you offering to buy me a drink. But please, PLEASE, do not berate me for politely declining. As a matter of fact, you should thank me. I just saved you fifteen dollars.
- If I do not ask you to come upstairs after a date, this is not the time to pout like a child. Just ’cause you bought me dinner doesn’t mean I owe you anything.
- Remembering minor details, ie; I don’t drink anything without a straw.
- Finding out what neighborhood I live in and then picking the restaurant based on that.
- The ol’ make sure I get in a cab safely tell the driver where I’m going, pass him a $20, and give him a stern warning that I better arrive home in one piece.
- Treating my friends as kindly as you treat me (non-romantically, of course).
- Not looking at your phone for one second during our date.
Welp, who wants to order in Chinese?