Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, I had nothing to wear… not even a blouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but it doesn’t matter til I’m done with my hair…
I’m no Grinch. There are so many things I love about Christmastime, but let’s be serious… it can’t all be snowflakes and reindeer. Let’s break down some of the beyond obnoxious parts about Christmas. Be sure to leave your Christmas gripes in the comments.
- The pressure to pretend my Christmas is SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN YOURS AND I’M GOING TO DOCUMENT IT ALL ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, and ANY OTHER PLATFORM YOU CAN STALK ME ON. Who are we kidding? I’m hanging out with family doing the same thing you are.
- People who go into debt over holiday shopping.
- Candy canes. Hate to point out the obvious but they’re just glorified peppermints- ‘cept harder to eat when you get down to that dumb hook part.
- Small talk with estranged family members. Pass the yams, please. I can’t explain what a blog is again.
- Gratuitous Facebook gift updates. This isn’t acceptable past the age of 9. And if you’re 9, then you shouldn’t even be on Facebook (or reading this blog).
- Having to feign delight over a truly shitastic gift. Makes a gift card seem s a whole lot more appealing.
- Receiving an orange in your stocking. I mean, come on. That’s just filler.
- Knowing that my Christmas card (and smiling face) is about one week away from the garbage can.
- Your “Christmas Eve” outfit pics. That’s cool, cause I’m in a giant T-shirt and leggings with a glass of wine and silly socks.
- Stowing away all the Christmas decorations and taking down the Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
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