Let’s make it quick and painless, people. Kinda like a one night stand. Wait, what?
- Occupy _______. Seriously? Why not try occupying your life? Or a job?
- Christmas music. Okay, yeah, I know. You could call me the Grinch for that, but you’re wrong. I love the holidays. My real issue is that stores are already cranking out Frosty the Snowman, and I haven’t even thought about buying a turkey yet.
- A promotion without a raise. That’s like a tequila shot without a lime.
- Debbie downers. We only have so much time on this planet, so may as well make the best of it. I realize it’s pretty ironic to include this on The List, seeing as the whole point is to bitch about annoying things. But I’m just trying to make my remaining time on Earth less obnoxious by educating those who are less self aware.
- People who treat their airplane seats like La-Z Boys. I know they recline, but if I wanted a lapdance, I’d just go to a strip club. At least I can get a steak there.
- And while we’re at it, dangling your arms over the back of the seat. I’m not sure what’s more awkward- that or your head in my crotch.
- Indecisive people. Seriously, just pick something. Anything.
- The entire family whose last name begins with K (and some with J). When can we stop talking about them?
- Forever Lazy. You’ve got to be f*&$ing kidding me?
- Lady Hoggers. No, I’m lying. I think it’s awesome.