Why Did You Wear That: A Thorn Without a Rose

By |February 19th, 2010|Why Did You Wear That?|

Dear Amber Rose,

First and foremost, I’d like to say, who the hell are you? You keep popping up everywhere so clearly I went ahead and Wikipedia’ed your ass. (Ass being operative word seeing as this is what Wiki had to say):

Amber Rose (born October 21, 1982) is an American modelsocialite and former exotic dancer, best known for her relationship with musicianKanye West.[citation needed] Her mother is from Cape Verde and her father is of Italian and African American and Irish descent.[citation needed]She is the youngest child of Shauna and Juan Palmer. Her parents divorced when she was three years old, and she was raised by her maternal aunt, Mary Lakes. Rose originally wanted to own a restaurant because she enjoyed food but instead turned to modeling as a career.

Okay, couple things… seems as though “socialite” is being thrown around pretty carelessly these days.  How do you think Tinsley Mortimer feels about being lumped in the same category with an ex stripper turned nude model?

On a total side note, why do they call it “exotic” dancing? I mean, there’s nothing “exotic” about it. Am I right? It’s like calling the garbage man a “waste technician.” Let’s call a spade a spade.

This is the picture that got me to venting:


This is you at Fashion Week. Why are you there? I was not aware that Darth Vader was showing this season.


Oh… leggings as pants. Leopard leggings as pants. Two birds. One stone.


I mean, really? Did you think that we wouldn’t mind your cameltoe if you matched your pants to your lipstick? Strike two.

Amber Rose-JTM-047036

You obv don’t wanna be a wallflower, so why on God’s green earth are you dressing like wallpaper?


You’re really testing my patience, Amber.


Oh, you’re a bumblebee. Is that what all the buzz is about?


And your worst fashion choice of all? Kanye as an accessory.

Now I know why you were a stripper/nude model, cause you actually are better off with no clothes on.