Dear Rihanna,

First and foremost, I think you are exquisite. I remember seeing you on the rooftop of Soho House last summer and being stunned by your beauty. You truly are a gorgeous girl. Our entire group had to pick our chins up off our poolside bed/couch as you sashayed by.

That being said, dub tee eff is going on with your outfits? I get that you have your own “personal style” but it’s getting kind of offensive. You’re sort of channeling Taylor Momsen/Jenny Humphrey with your “I don’t give a f*#$” get ups. Guess where that got little J? Written off of Gossip Girl. So let me step in and stop you before someone decides to write you off.

I get it. You’ve had a rough go this past year. My heart goes out to you. I know firsthand what boy dbaggery looks/feels like. No one deserves that. However, looking like a crazy bag lady certainly isn’t the best revenge. Take a cue from Kim K strutting around looking hotter than ever in her bikini (suck on that, Reggie). Or go get a weave like I did!

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest offenders:




What the f*#%? What happened to this little cutie?



I mean, I can’t vouch for that belly chain, but you get what I’m saying.  Let’s go ahead and reel it back in. How about getting some of your girliness back? Remember when you were so hot and feminine that people were hypothesizing that Beyonce was getting nervous? Yeah, let’s get that RiRi back before we have to send you to fashion rehab.

Sending my love.