Dec
17
2008
0

WhyDid Wisdom: When NOT to Fake the Funk
Written by: WhyDid | WhyDid Wisdom

A psychic once told me that I was “okay with the little white lie.” While this might be true, there are a few things in life that you just shouldn’t fib about.

Herve Leger Bandage Dresses- Bebe, Express, and Alice and Olivia have all tried to replicate this trendy dress. None of them have been able to really recreate the drama of the real thing. A real Herve Leger dress hugs you in all of the right places and sucks you in in the others (think of Spanx gone sexy). There are no stray threads, the fabric is heavy and thick, and it only comes in certain styles each season. A black Herve bandage dress is worth the investment. It can be worn for a multitude of occasions. Skip the imitations though. You’ll only end up looking cheap, not chic.

Lips-Ugh! Have you ever seen women walking around with “duck lips”? So gross. There is nothing sexy about looking like Donald Duck’s sister. I understand that voluptuous lips like Angelina Jolie’s and Scarlett Johannsen’s are sexy, but we weren’t all created equal.  Learn to love your lips and invest in a good lip plumper (Lip Infusion is my favorite). Do you really want to walk around looking like Heidi from The Hills? Didn’t think so.

Designer handbags-This is right up there on the list with ”Leggings as Pants” and True Religions. Not only is it illegal, it’s so tacky! We all can spot your fake Louis Vuitton and we can all see that the C’s on your Coach bag are really G’s. Invest in something you can actually afford and don’t max out your credit card trying to get the real thing. Save up a little from each paycheck until you can take the plunge and buy yourself your very own dream bag. (I suggest you go with a classic style as they change the other styles every season and WHO wants last season’s handbag? Not me!)

Hair- We all want long luscious locks like-I was going to try and name a celeb with thick full hair, but they are all guilty of extensions-  so let’s get straight to the point. In theory, it seems like a good idea, but keep in mind that celebrities have the top hair and makeup people working on them every day. That is why you can’t see the tracks from their extensions and the roots and the thinning natural hair underneath. Sure, we’d all love to have Ken Paves blow our hair out every morning, but it’s just not going to happen. Even those clip on extensions are creepy. Leave those laying around and they’ll freak out your dog and you boyfriend. Some alternatives? Take nail and hair vitamins. I swear by these as well as Biotin. (Had a bad haircut a few years back and taking vitamins really helped strengthen my hair). Vitamins won’t make your hair grow faster, but they will make your hair stronger, making it easier for you to grow long hair like Lady Godiva.

Your relationship- How many girls do you know in a relationship just for the heck of it? It’s hard being single, but it’s even harder living a lie. Sometimes it’s for the free meal, or because you’ve gotten comfortable, or even because you’re just plain old lonely. Life is way too short to be with someone who you aren’t head over feet for. Dating sucks and sometimes it can be depressing thinking you’ll never find “Mr. Right” but trust me, it’s totally worth waiting for and in the mean time, have a blast with your girlfriends. Hanging out with some loser is only time spent that you will never get back.

Things Okay to Fake:

  • Your tan. And I don’t mean by going to a tanning bed. Ever heard of melanoma or wrinkles? There are so many other options out there ranging from Clarins to Jergens.
  • Your bra size. If you weren’t blessed with a full bosom and you aren’t up for going under the knife, there are plenty of other options. From Hollywood Fashion Tape to Commando to Victoria’s Secret, they all make clever little “chicken cutlets” to enhance your cleavage. A very clever friend of mine made bra inserts from pantyhose and rice. A solution and a snack!
  • Phone calls. Why not? We all have awkward situations we need to get out of. Trust, me I have pretended I was on the phone to avoid strained conversation many a time. Just make sure you dial voicemail or SOMETHING so that your phone doesn’t start ringing while you’re holding it.
  • Fake it alone. Not going to get into detail here. www.babeland.com It’s better than sleeping around until you meet “Mr. Right”! (and nothing to be embarrassed about. Remember Charlotte York and the “rabbit”?)

Keep it real.

xx,

WhyDid

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