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The jig is up.  That is not a picture of my boyfriend.  I am single this holiday season, which is great for my bank account, not awesome for my electric bill.  There’s a reason I placed precedence on my pet gift guide.  “Dogs before dudes,” someone once said.  I think it was Gandhi.

Just because I’ll be kissing myself under the mistletoe doesn’t mean the rest of you will, so in your and my imaginary boyfriend’s honor (in summary, a bearded, possibly tattooed, motorcycle riding surfboarder. He also probably paints, plays the guitar, and rescues baby squirrels in his spare time), I’ve created the greatest gift guide for your special guy.  This guide will either baffle you as to why I’m single or cement the reasons that I am.

1. Jack Threads The Cashmere Crew, 2. Corkcicle Whiskey Wedge, 3. Herschel Supply Co. Niles Cap, 4. Garrett Leight Brooks Sunglasses, 5. Atelier de L’Armée Leather Trimmed Cotton Canvas Backpack, 6. Vans Desert Chukka, 7. Bowers & Wilkins P3 Foldable Headphones, 8. Bootcase iPhone 6 Hybrid Power Case, 9. Leica X Typ 113 Compact Camera, 10. Suunto Kailash Carbon Tone Titanium GPS Watch, 11. Hector Saxe Leather and Suede Travel Backgammon Set, 12. Stelle Audio Wood Pillar Speaker