Yes, along with finding someone cute to cuddle up with this Friday– which just so happens to be February 14th, your boo or potential object of affection will most likely be somewhat stressed about what to gift you for this Hallmark holiday. All of this will be made exponentially harder when factoring in what is or is not appropriate based on the length of your relationship and just how hot and heavy it’s gotten between you two thus far. If you’ve just started dating and Patti Stanger would still have you on the two drink maximum (HA!), it’s just that much more tricky. It’s important to show interest without giving away the promise of a picket fence, perfectly trained papillon, and three adorable and well mannered children. Ladies, print this out, press forward, casually share it on Facebook and hope that your man is smart enough to read on.
When my newly smitten best guy friend confirmed with me that he should, in fact, send flowers to the new apple of his eye for Valentine’s day, he was downright insulted when I made him assure me he wouldn’t send the standard red roses- especially those flanked with the floral equivalent of cantaloupe, baby’s breath. I forget that his mama raised him right and he, therefore, has impeccable taste down to wearing a three piece suit to his business casual office. However, some of you “gentleman” (yeah, I’m air quoting that) could use a little bit of a stern reprimanding when it comes to gift giving for the special ladies in your life. Therefore, I’m here to guide your ship through the rocky waters of your budding relationship to your own private island of infatuation.
Some side notes about my selections:
- Do not give a half assed gift. If you choose to go with a frame, put a flipping picture in it. That’s like giving a girl a vase with no flowers or a jewelry box with no jewelry. This type of gift will land you in more hot water than baby’s breath or store bought chocolates (just don’t).
- The little things are the things she will remember– unless she’s a gold digging ho and, in that case, you should abort mission before she drains your bank account and your sanity. If you give her a book, write a sweet inscription. If you opt for a change purse, tuck a shiny, lucky penny inside for her to find.
- Don’t overdo it. Crotchless panties two weeks in? Probably not. Now, six months in is a completely different story… Pro-tip: If you give a giant, shiny, or expensive gift too early on, you’ve set yourself up for future failure. You must always outdo yourself and you, my friend have set the bar awfully high (sorry, ladies, but you know it’s true). As for giving a girl a ring so early on, this is a knuckle ring and it’s a pearl, not a diamond. You’re basically giving her something to punch you in the face with should you ever foul things up. I consider this ring a token of good faith and an indicator that you’re up on current trends.
- Don’t bother with a card– unless you plan on writing more than just your name.
1. Wildfox Lolita Sunglasses, 2. Miu Miu Croc Effect Glossed Leather Pouch, 3. Taschen Set of Two Fairy Tale Books, 4. Rodarte Rohearte T-Shirt, 5. Rablabs Obra Frame, 6. Mary Green Sleeping Beauty Eye Mask, 7. Sophie Bille Brahe Lisa Petite Pearl Knuckle Ring, 8. Bing Bang Secret Admirer Necklace, 9. Jennifer Zeuner Adored Necklace, 10. AIR by alice + olivia Drape Wrap Around Top, 11. alice + olivia Lizard Phone Pouch with Portable Charger, 12. Elle Macpherson Medina Lace and Silk Pajama Set, 13. Chan Luu Cashmere and Silk Blend Scarf, 14. Eberjey Mabel Lace Trimmed Jersey Robe
Seriously, I wish I could date myself sometimes. Also probably why I’m such a hit at a certain W 12th Street hot spot…