battleship gameIn case it’s news to you, I’m currently going through a bit of a rough patch.  A “transitional” period, if you will.  I woke up one day and knew things were never going to be the same.  I sensed it the moment I opened my eyes.  It was the strangest feeling.  At first, I didn’t really think the impending doom was such a good thing and was certain that my life was going down faster than the Titanic.  I tried as I might to pump up my life raft to prevent this change from happening, but as time has passed, I realize that things couldn’t have happened any other way.

So, here I am.  I have no home and no real responsibilities other than making sure to keep these posts coming and keeping Smitty’s bowl full.  I’m living out of a suitcase and have become a real life gypsy bouncing from one city to the next.  It’s like my first U.S. tour- minus the backup dancers.  And while I hardly know where I will be next week, let alone next year, I’ve found this time to be both exhilarating and terrifying.

In times of trouble, lots of people will offer you encouragement, loving words, and their own personal little tidbits of wisdom.  While no one can ever really say exactly what you want to hear, it comes from a loving place and one must keep that in mind.  Every now and again, someone’s words will resonate with you.  However, there are a few phrases that are truly infuriating when uttered during a time of duress.  One such phrase is along the lines of, “If you say ‘you can’t’, you can’t.”  Hearing this particular semblance of wisdom sends me into such a tailspin of anger that I kind of want to stab the utterer in the face with a feather.

But alas, there might be a smidgeon of truth to this oh so aggravating statement (which, of course, only makes it that much more aggravating).  As it turns out… the opposite of positive thinking may very well be the self fulfilling prophecy.

So, let’s talk about self fulfilling prophecies, shall we?

It’s true.  I can be a bit of a worrier.  I’m not sure whether it has something to do with watching too many Lifetime movies or just your run of the mill “trust issues” that I’ve managed to rack up over time, but I can craft up quite a storyline in my head before it’s ever even happened.  This is very useful for creative writing… not so much for every day life.  My dad often reminds me that the things I fear most are the things that never happen.  I get myself worked up into a tizzy and fixate on what might happen, rather than seeing what is actually happening.

I like to tell myself that my worrying is merely forward thinking and I’m just trying to brace myself for the worst, as if life is an ongoing game of chess.  But is my defense mechanism protecting me from trouble or really just causing these terrible things to happen?  Am I just Chicken Little waiting for the sky to fall?

It’s also no secret that I haven’t exactly had the best of luck in the love department.  Perhaps I have terrible taste in men or maybe I’m to blame for all of my relationship implosions.  I go in assuming that most men are grade-A douchebags and am typically just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Who knows if there even was another shoe to drop, but I always manage to make it happen.  A psychic once told me I’d have no trouble attracting men, just trouble keeping them.  Touche, oh clairvoyant one.  Joke’s on me.

By focusing on what could happen or what you think the outcome may be, or just worrying about the “what if’s”, you are changing your intrinsic behavior.  This minute shift in demeanor could very well be twisting fate and changing your charted route without you even realizing it.  It’s a ripple effect.  Pretty soon a slight wake has turned into a tidal wave, and you, S.S. Worry Wart, are going under.

You sunk my battleship.